The Hulkster Hulk Hogan (CS002)

This was the second of the original Collector’s Series that included just 3 tapes so this shouldn’t take too long. HULKAMANIA 1 was already in stores so this tape was probably just trying to milk the name for as much as it was worth. We open the tape with just a Coliseum Video graphic, no opening montage. Vince McMahon in a red bowtie shills the action but making an error saying this was the first tape of the Collector’s Series (WWF’s Greatest Matches holds that honor) but no matter. Vince says at the time of this program, Hogan has been the reigning champion for over two years meaning this tape was released sometime in 1986. He says Hogan has defended the title in no less than 25 occasions, which is hogwash. Hulk as the champion would headline every card he’d appear on so he must have defended the belt at least 500 times at the time. Vince says you’ll see three title defenses as well as the match he won the title in against the Iron Sheik. Let’s get to the action.

Match 1

Brutus Beefcake (with Luscious Johnny V) vs Hulk Hogan for the WWF Heavyweight Championship

Commentators: Dick Graham and Gorilla Monsoon

Heh, these two would be buddies for years and years after this so its kind of shocking to see them go at it. This match was from February 16, 1985 in the Philadelphia Spectrum a month before the first Wrestlemania and a year into Hogan’s title reign. Brutus is wearing black and yellow lightning bolt tights and leopard print arm bands with Hogan in his standard yellow trunks. Hogan attacks Beefcake after Brutus takes too long to start with a right hand. Hogan atomic drops Brutus into the corner and he staggers out of the ring. Dick wins the David Crockett award for annoyance a minute into the match because all he does is whoop and holler after every move. Brutus regroups with Johnny V outside before sliding back in. They circle before Beefcake gets the upper hand on a tie up and shoves Hogan into the corner. Beefcake poses for the crowd while Dick calls Hogan “the Hulker”. Hogan goes to tie up but Beefcake struts away. They go to tie up again only this time they both strut away and Beefcake is irate. The crowd cheers when Hogan poses and Brutus charges only to be rammed headfirst into to the buckle. Hogan unloads with four left jabs and a windup roundhouse right. Hogan whips Beefcake into the corner and nails him with a back elbow smash. Hogan whips him off the ropes and floors Brutus with a running clothesline. Hogan drops the big…elbow then gets up to pose. Hogan bites Beefcake on the temple as Monsoon says he learned it from the Junkyard Dog. Hogan gets in a side headlock but Beefcake backs him into the corner and catches him off guard with a shoulderblock. Beefcake unloads with right hands and a forearm to the back. Monsoon says to watch for the high knee as Beefcake comes off the second rope with an axehandle smash that quiets the crowd. Beefcake drops another forearm but Hulk no sells. Beefcake goes to ram Hulk into the corner but he blocks it. Hulk rams Beefcake into the corner 10 times and Brutus flops to the ground. Hogan scoop slams Brutus and drops two elbows. Hogan picks up Beefcake, nails him with two right hands and gets reverse whipped into the corner. Beefcake levels Hogan with a big axehandle in the corner then stands on his head using the ropes for leverage. Brutus chokes Hulk on the second rope then rakes the eyes. Brutus chokes Hulk on the second rope then covers for 1….2….kicked out. Brutus delivers another axehandle to the back before going back to the blatant choke. He covers for a near fall as Gorilla says he’s not going to win the title that way. Brutus delivers a powerslam and covers for 1..2…nope, gotta hook the leg. Brutus drops a knee, a forearm and an elbow before another sloppy cover gets 1…2…HULK UP!!! You know the drill….no sell punches, right hand, right hand, right hand, whip, big boot, scoop slam, leg drop, cover. Oh wait, Johnny V gets on the apron. Hulk chases him off and grabs him by the collar only for Brutus to hit the high knee to the back. Brutus covers for 1….2..no, Hulk gets the leg under the bottom rope. Johnny and Brutus think they’ve won it so Johnny grabs the belt as Brutus celebrates in the ring. Beefcake and Johnny try to put the belt on as referee Joey Morella tells them no no no! Finally Hogan runs up, schoolboys Brutus for 1..2….3 and its over. Hogan is attacked by Beefcake and Brutus until he ducks and Brutus nails Johnny with a big forearm. Hulk rams their heads together. We cut there and thank God, I was sick of Dick whooping and screaming after every move. The one thing I’ll give credit to Vince for, for the most part he stayed away from whooping announcers in the David Crockett mold in favor of the articulate announcers like Gorilla and Jesse or Gorilla and Heenan. Bad match but what do you expect from Hulk and Beefcake?
Time of match: 10:40

Winner: Hulk Hogan by pinfall
We go back to December 1983 to a highlight of the Iron Sheik defeating 5 year champion (if you don’t count his loss to Antonio Inoki in Japan) Bob Backlund for the title to show how Sheik won it…..only to have Hogan take it away. It was a landmark match because of the fact that Backlund had it for 5 YEARS, think 6 months is too long to draw, try having it for half a decade. Vince knew Verne Gagne had dropped the ball in the AWA because he was too stubborn to deal with the growing ego of Hogan, but Vince was a smart business man. He knew that whatever he was going to take in based on the proceeds of Hogan being champion was going to be a hell of a lot more than Hogan was going to garner himself. While Verne frowned upon Hogan’s merchandise sales and Japanese tours, Vince thrived on it and would push other wrestlers to go on foreign tours to promote the product. Even though it was a group effort, one man was the key for Vince’s army….Hogan. The match we’re about to see has been replayed thousands of times and we’re about to take one more look at it.

Match 2

Hulk Hogan vs The Iron Sheik (with Ayatollah Blassie) for the WWF Heavyweight Championship

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Pat Patterson
This is just a repost from HULKAMANIA 1. The match that started it all, the true dawning of Hulkamania in the national spotlight. This match came about when Bob Backlund was dethroned on December 26, 1983 by the Sheik. Rather than get his deserved rematch, Backlund brought out old Freddie Blassie crony Hulk Hogan. Hogan said he had denounced Blassie and was totally reformed, his mission was to destroy the Sheik and bring the belt back to the good guys. On January 23, 1984 Hogan met Sheik for the title in Madison Square Garden. Hogan crosses himself on his way out to the ring and guess who’s holding the curtain for him, 69 year old Vince McMahon Sr, dying of pancreatic cancer but fighting it long enough to see Hulkamania take off. If you pause your tape/dvd/etc to see that image, it’s an iconic one. The changing of the guard if you will. The regional territory era of Vince Sr is going by the wayside as Hulkamania was about to sweep the nation. It’s a shame the old man died when he did, he would have loved to have seen some of the gigantic crowds his son was about to draw. Sheik’s got the red trunks on. Hogan’s wearing his standard yellow trunks and a red t-shirt that says American Made on the front and Hulk-A-Mania on the back. After the introductions, Sheik turns to take his ring gear off but Hulk PEARL HARBOR’S him because he’s such a role model. Hogan sends Sheik into the corner with his robe still on and delivers an elbow smash. Hulk strangles Sheik with his own robe then sends him off and clotheslines him with the robe. The ref finally gets the robe away from Hogan. Hulk unloads in the corner then delivers a running clothesline. Hulk drops a knee to the throat, rakes the eyes and chokes him over his head. Hogan spits at Sheik and delivers the big boot. Hulk covers but the referee takes forever to get over there and Sheik kicks out at 1. Hogan drops Sheik with a running elbow then drops another elbow. Patterson goes crazy but the cover only gets 2. Hogan whips Sheik into the corner but misses a charge. Sheik finally gets an offensive move in 3 minutes into the match by stomping away at the Hulk. Hulk staggers to his feet and Sheik executes a backbreaker. Sheik covers but Hogan powers out at 2. Sheik goes back to work with boots to the chest then “loads up the boot”. Another boot leads to a Boston crab applied by the Sheik. Monsoon scoffs at the referee for being out of position but Hogan powers out of the hold. Pat wonders when Sheik will go for the camel clutch as he delivers a well executed gut-wrench suplex on Hogan. Another cover 1…2 and no. Sheik goes back to the boots to the kidney then locks in the camel clutch. Patterson says no one’s ever broken the hold as Monsoon says this is what did in Backlund a month earlier. Monsoon “Only the immense power of the Hulk can save him!” Hogan begins to Hulk Up and soon powers his way to his knees. Hogan stands up with Sheik on his back and rams him back in the corner. Sheik falls like a dead deer in the center of the ring. The crowd goes wild and Hogan drops the big leg! The cover gets 1…2…3 AND WE GOT A NEW CHAMPION! Madison Square Garden goes crazy as Hulkamania takes over New York City. Monsoon “History made in Madison Square Garden! Hulkamania….is here.” He wasn’t kidding, folks. Hogan kisses the belt (the same won worn by Backlund a month earlier before Sheik won it) as Fink announces Hogan the winner and new champ. Now Vince had his larger than life champion and the road to dominance was about to begin.

Time of match: 5:34

Winner: Hulk Hogan by pinfall (new WWF Champion)
Its only natural to re-visit the postmatch celebration in the locker room with Hogan ranting and raving to “Mean” Gene Okerlund. Hulk says he’d bring the belt back to the USA and he continues to rant saying the belt is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen and its part of Mean Gene now too. Andre the Giant from out of nowhere pops the cork on a champagne bottle and douses Hogan with it. Andre shakes Hogan’s hand, says he’s proud of him and says something else in his broken English when Ivan Putski pops open another bottle and douses Hogan with it. Ivan “Hey I’m proud of ya Jack” as Gene says “Its super Monday at the Garden” and then HE gets doused from behind by Rocky Johnson. We cut the celebration there and skip forward to Gene interviewing Hulk with his parents, Pete (dad) on his right and Ruth (mom) on his left. His mom says her son is dedicated, he’s wonderful for the sport and its wonderful for him. Gene interviews his dad next and Pete says he’s proud of him and speaks softly until Hulk rants and raves at the top of his lungs. His father looks annoyed as his mother starts laughing. Gene signs off and we cut here. Talk about a party, the true dawning of Hulkamania and the beginning of the national takeover by Vince Jr. We go right to the next match.
Match 3

The Iron Sheik (With “Ayatollah” Blassie) vs Hulk Hogan for the WWF Heavyweight Championship)

Commentators: Dick Graham and Alfred Hays
After Hogan defeated the Sheik and Hulkamania took off, a re-match for the title was inevitable and this match was from May 5, 1984 at the Philadelphia Spectrum. We join the match already in progress as Hogan is wearing blue tights, not his standard yellow trunks with the Sheik in green. He boots Hulk in the throat then loads up the boot. Sheik rams Hulk head first into the boot and delivers a forearm to the head. We get a TAPE EDIT and Sheik taunts Hogan. Sheik goes for a snap suplex but is blocked and Hulk delivers one of his own. Referee Dick Woehrle checks Hogan who’s busted wide open as Dick whoops again. Sheik goes after the open wound but Hulk no sells a series of punches. Hulk lands two right hands, grab Sheik by the handlebar mustache and delivers a windup roundhouse right. Hulk scoop slams Sheik and drops the big leg but doesn’t cover. Hogan says he’s going to make Sheik pay so he undoes the left boot of Sheik. Hulk nails Sheik a few times but still can’t get it off. Hulk rakes the eyes and finally gets the boot off. Hulk caters to the cheering crowd and loads up the boot. Sheik bails but Hogan follows him and waffles him with the boot. Sheik blades on camera but we get a TAPE EDIT and the next shot we see is both Woehrle and Sheik flat on their asses with Hogan ramming the boot into the bloody head of Sheik. A host of jobbers hit the ring to pry Hulk off Sheik as he retreats to the back leaving Hulk to stand tall. Ring announcer Mel Phillips announces it was a double-count out and Hulk is irate. He keeps the belt so its all good. I wish I could have seen the full match because it had the intensity of a grudge match not usually seen on Coliseum Video. Did I just say that? Oh wow.

Time of match: Joined in progress (an unofficial 3:53, the actual match was 14:18)

Winner: No one (Double Count-Out)

Onto the final match with no interviews or hoopla.
Match 4

Don “The Magnificent” Muraco (with Mr. Fuji) vs Hulk Hogan for the WWF Heavyweight Championship in a Steel Cage Match

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and “Mean” Gene Okerlund
This match was from June 21, 1985 at Madison square Garden and Vince overdubs saying this is the rubber match in the series (Muraco won the first match by count-out, Hogan took a re-match at Madison Square Garden by DQ, already covered in GRUDGE MATCHES) and there must be a winner here. Hogan enters the cage wearing the white tights with Muraco in his standard gear. Hogan tosses his bandana and shirt outside before throwing the belt at Muraco. Don goes to whip Hogan with the belt but Hulk ducks under and unloads on him with right hands. The bell rings and Hulk goes to nail Muraco with the belt but Don slides out of the way. The ref gets the belt out of the ring and slams the door as now it’s just one on one. Muraco knees Hogan and attempts to throw him into the cage, but Hulk blocks it. Hulk taunts Don and they circle again. Hulk fakes a tie up before kicking Muraco in the ribs and tries to send him into the cage. Don resists, Hulk rakes the eyes and whips him into the corner. Hulk unloads with a right hand but Don blocks another cage ram attempt. Muraco mulekicks Hogan in the gonads and stomps away at him. Don drops Hogan with a kneelift then continues to kick away. The crowd chants for Hogan as Muraco floors Hogan with another right hand. Muraco drops an elbow to the gonads which is all legal in this match. Muraco goes for the door but Hulk cuts him off with right hands. Muraco gets a thumb to the eye as Mean Gene says the winner is over the top or out the door, no pinfalls or submission. Muraco pounds on Hogan who HULKS UP!!  Rather than the usual head punches, Hogan nails Muraco with two bell-ringers, a whip, a clothesline and a big elbow drop. Hogan bites Muraco on the temple then headbutts him. Hulk torpedoes Muraco head first into the cage. Gorilla “Hulkster ramrodding Muraco into the steel cage!” Take away ‘into the steel cage’ and that doesn’t sound good at all. Muraco is busted wide open as Hulk torpedoes him into the cage again. Don staggers to his feet and Hulk greets him with a series of right hands. Hulk goes for the big clothesline but Muraco catches him and sends him head first into the cage. Muraco slingshots Hogan into the cage as Monsoon points out no one’s tried to leave the cage over the top. Hulk blades and right on cue Muraco goes for the top. He gets halfwayout but Hogan grabs him by the tights. Hulk rams Muraco into the top of the cage before we get a TAPE EDIT. Muraco drops Hogan with an elbow as both men are bloody messes. Monsoon says we got 28 grand in the house tonight which is BS. Muraco lands a right hand but Hogan ducks under another. Muraco runs right into the big boot that sends him through the ropes, getting his head stuck. Muraco unties himself and makes a leap to stop Hogan from leaving the cage. Hogan stomps at Muraco, drops him with a big right hand and exits the cage to win the match. We cut right then and there to the end of the tape. Decent cage match with both guys getting bloody. That’s two straight bloodbaths on this tape, very edgy for the time period.

Time of match: Clipped

Winner: Hulk Hogan
The credits roll with the Rock N Wrestling theme instead of the usual orchestral piece. We then get a montage with the Coliseum Video theme (where was that in the beginning?) for every Coliseum Video that was out at the time. The last one they highlighted was BEST OF THE WWF VOLUME 6 so I placed the Collector’s Series after those ones. As for this, I kind of liked this tape, standard mid 80’s action and it was kept short and sweet. It was only packaged as a collector’s Item so no sense blasting it for lack of matches. This was mostly pre-Wrestlemania stuff so it’s more valuable for its historical purpose than it is for the matches themselves. I give it 3 stars out of 5. One point off because Dick Graham is annoying and another off because they cut up the best match on the tape (the Spectrum bloodbath with the Sheik) and kept the worst one in its entirety (Beefcake). This was actually the second tape of the short lived Collector’s Series and the last one is next: HIGHLIGHTS OF WRESTLEMANIA.

WWF Greatest Matches (CS001)

Well, well well what do we have here? In 1986, WWF put out a three part “Collector’s Series” that were brief, 45 minute tapes that I believe was footage they had lying around and wanted to make a buck out of. That could only explain the choice of matches for 2 of the 3 tapes. So the next three reviews are for the “Collector’s Series” This tape starts out without the Coliseum Video opening. That’s a bad omen. We do start out with Vince McMahon as our host for the evening. He runs down the card and the record needle scratches for mebefore the first match as a tape with the “Greatest” matches features Uncle Elmer and Brutus Beefcake in Vince’s intro…not a good sign. We also get Randy Savage’s IC title win and Iron Sheik’s famous World Title win over long time champion Bob Backlund. Unless the matches are drastically edited, it shouldn’t be that bad of a tape.

Match 1

“Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff vs Hulk Hogan for the WWF Heavyweight Championship

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura
Hogan and Orndorff were rivals dating back to high school so its no surprise they’d be taking on each other in the WWF. This may not be their most famous match (Wrestlemania 1, Big Event, or the Cage match) but this is one of the earlier bouts because there’s a ramp leading to the ring. Actually this match was from April 21, 1985 shortly after Wrestlemania. We’re in the Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto Canada as I can tell by some of the ambience in the background. We start off with Orndorff climbing the second rope as Vince is still yapping and Hogan delivering a back suplex off the second rope. Hogan is in the yellow trunks with Orndorff in the blue. Hogan sends Paul off and delivers a running clothesline knocking him flat. Paul begs off but Hogan caters to the crowd forcing Orndorff to bail to the outside. Orndorff makes his way back inside and then Hogan delivers a side headlock followed by a shoulderblock, then Orndorff bails again. Monsoon “A good little man has never beaten a good big man”….then again this was the dawn of Vince McMahon’s bodybuilder era and it would be 10 years before the “little” men such as Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, 123 Kid, Brian Pillman among others got their due. They exchange right hands before Hogan goes to the eyes, no doubt pleasing Ventura. Hogan delivers a running clothesline into the corner then atomic drops Mr. Wonderful followed by a headbutt. Hogan covers for a deuce as Monsoon says there’s been a lot of trash talking going down between the two of them. Orndorff delivers his first offensive move 3 minutes in, a kneelift followed by his trademark forearms to the back of the head/neck area (which Hogan says have caused permanent damage, ouch). Orndorff now drops knees to the back of the head before heaving Hogan through the ropes to the outside. Outside, Paul sends Hogan into the steel guardrail before putting the boots to him. Orndorff climbs back inside and caters to the crowd before climbing out and putting the boots to Hogan again. Hogan rolls in so Paul continues to use heel tactics to weaken the champion. Orndorff executes a snap suplex then drops a knee to the throat, the cover gets 1….2…and he got him…no he didn’t. Damn, that was annoying just to type and I had to listen to Vince say it again and again for years. Orndorff continues to stomp away before Hogan begins to rally by ramming Paul’s head into the top turnbuckle a bunch of times. Orndorff staggers and Hogan catches him with a running elbow to the head. Hogan scoop slams Paul and goes for a running elbow drop, but Orndorff rolls out of the way in time. Paul stomps away then goes upstairs, he hits a flying bodypress that Hogan rolls through and the sloppy cover gets 1…2….3 to win the match. Ventura says Orndorff’s shoulders weren’t down but the replay shows they were. Win number 1,203 in a row for Hogan out of about….100,000 to go until 1988 or so. Wasn’t that bad of a match but certainly nothing on the level of their eventual cage match. This was definitely not one of the “greatest matches” they had.
Time of match: 7:25

Winner: Hulk Hogan by pinfall

There is no segment, onto the next match.

Match 2

“Macho Man” Randy Savage (with Miss Elizabeth) vs Tito Santana for the WWF Intercontinental Championship

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura

This match would solidify Savage as a main event player so let’s go back to February 8, 1986 in the Boston Garden (sweeeeet). Macho Man has on the yellow trunks with Tito in the red. Savage jumps in the ring then locks up with Tito, they go back and forth shoving each other as Monsoon hypes the contest. They exchange go-behind’s before Savage hightails it to the ropes and bails to the outside. Back inside Randy headlocks Tito but Santana scissors out of it as Monsoon tells how Macho Man ripped up a bouquet of flowers someone handed to Elizabeth. Ventura “Can you imagine the gall of someone trying to hand her flowers?” They circle the ring as I notice the marquee saying the main event is Hillbilly Jim vs Big John Studd…..yeah, this match is much better. Camera cuts to the lovely Elizabeth as Savage sticks a thumb to the eye, pissing off Santana who chases him out of the ring. Savage yells at a security dude before turning around into right hands from Tito. Santana goes to ram Savage into the post but Randy stops him and throws the champ back inside. Macho Man goes upstairs but jumps into a right hand to the mid section as the Garden crowd applauds. Tito goes to work with right hands and a scoop slam but can’t deliver the flying forearm because Savage bailed to the outside. Santana chases after him but falls for the “first guy back in the ring clobbers the other guy” routine. Savage goes for a boot but Santana catches it, spins him around and delivers an atomic drop. Santana covers for the first pinfall attempt but Randy quickly gets the foot on the ropes. Macho Man goes for the eyes as Danny Davis admonishes him for it, dirty cheater! Randy delivers an axehandle to the back then covers for a 2 count. Savage delivers a left arm clothesline and covers for 1…2…thr….woah, nope. Santana kicks out in time as Savage goes upstairs and once again delivers an axehandle. Another cover gets a near fall as Randy protests to Davis, then Santana begins to rally before Savage gets another thumb to the eye. Santana falls to the arena floor as Randy goes upstairs to deliver an axe handle smash onto him. Ventura says you can’t win the title on the floor and says that’s how Santana escaped against Jesse himself…heh. Santana crawls on the apron where he’s greeted with a right hand right between the eyes. Santana reverses a charge and rams Savage into the ring post, back inside he punches Savage down before putting the boots to him. He hops on the second rope and delivers an elbow smash, the cover gets 1…2…nope, foot on the rope. Tito whips Randy into the corner but a charge eats knee then Savage gets a breather on the top turnbuckle, he covers but Santana throws him ontop of Davis. Tito hits a small package out of nowhere but Davis is still groggy and by the time he makes the count, Savage kicks out at 2. Tito charges but Randy counters with a back elbow smash, then goes for a knee drop but….hits it? He lands on Santana but then rolls around clutching his knee so someone screwed up. Tito pounces and goes to work on the injured leg but Danny Davis keeps getting in the way for some reason. Santana gives the sign for the figure four and applies it as the crowd goes wild, he’s got it locked in the center of the ring. Savage quickly rolls over and makes it to the ropes to break the hold. Savage rolls to the apron but Santana is relentless and suplexes Macho Man back inside the ring. Santana misses a move so Randy slides to the ring apron to pull out something from his tights. He swings and misses and Tito goes for a back suplex, however Randy clocks Santana with the object on the way down.  Randy crawls over on top of Tito and Davis gets down 1……2….THREE AND WE GOT A NEW CHAMPION. Thinking quickly, Savage tosses the piece of steel to the outside as Davis never saw it. Its official, the Macho Man is your new Intercontinental Champion. Savage limps to the back as Monsoon scoffs at the blatent cheating by the Macho Man, Ventura says it’s brilliant. Talk about a passing of the torch, Santana would never see another singles title in 7 more years with the company while Savage still had a yearlong IC title reign along with 2 future WWF Championship runs to go. Does it belong on a tape like this, yes! 1 out of 2 so far.
Time of match: 10:32

Winner: Randy Savage by pinfall (new IC Champion)

There is no segment, onto the next match
Match 3

The Iron Sheik (with Classy Freddie Blassie) vs Bob Backlund (with Arnold Skaaland) for the WWF Heavyweight Championship

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Pat Patterson
The match that paved the way for the Rock N Wrestling connection to happen, let’s get some backstory out of the way first. Vince McMahon Jr bought the promotion from his father Vince Sr and decided to go national, something unheard of in the territorial days of wrestling. To do this however, he needed a larger than life star. His current WWF Champion Bob Backlund was one of the greatest mat-based wrestlers to ever step in the ring, but on the mic and on camera he was about as exciting as a glass of water. However, he noticed a muscular man with unparallel charisma in the AWA named Hulk Hogan and decided that if he could get this guy, the business would really take off. Once he signed Hogan, he had to get the title on him as soon as possible. The problem was Backlund refused to lose to someone without a realistic amateur background and in those days, babyface vs babyface matches were also unheard of. They needed what was known as a transition champion, someone to beat Backlund for the title and to drop it to Hogan. Vince looked at his roster for a heel with amateur abilities and found The Iron Sheik, a former Olympian for the Iranian national team and on December 26, 1983….Sheik met Backlund for the title in Madison Square Garden. To set the match up for more drama, Backlund was attacked by Sheik and Blassie the week before to drive home the point Backlund was not 100 percent going into the match. It should also be noted Backlund has his head shaved, up to this point in his career he had a full head of hair. Backlund usually wrestled in standard trunks but had on a red singlet for this one. Sheik is in the blue trunks and doesn’t wait for instructions to attack Backlund from behind as the bell rings. He strangles Bob with his turban while his robe is still on. Sheik tosses his turban away then strangles Bob with his robe as Blassie looks on with a smile. Sheik pounds away on the side of the injured neck then boots him a few times. Blassie shouts out “BALI BALI BALI!” a few times until some guy in the crowd shouts it back at him. Bali is actually an island in Indonesia and Blassie admitted in his autobiography he didn’t know what “Bali” meant but as a heel manager, he had to at least look like he knew the language of his wrestler (talk about a lost art). Sheik applies an arm-bar before Backlund arm drags out of it, however Sheik quicky pounces on him with more boots and another arm-bar. Sheik shouts “IRAN NUMBVA VUN!” as Backlund powers out of it and snap mares him over. Backlund favors his left shoulder as Sheik once again bars the arm up, Blassie yells out “SHEIK” and he looks over and smiles at his manager. Patterson shills Iron Sheik and says how determined he is to win the title as Backlund starts jiggling Sheik’s pectoral area (wtf???). Eventually Backlund gets to his feet and sends Sheik off the ropes but runs into a shoulderblock. Blassie yells “COME ON, COME ON!” as Sheik runs into a hiptoss by the champ. Backlund slumps to his knees as Monsoon notes how much pain Bob is despite the fact he hiptossed Sheik with his right arm. Sheik quickly recovers and puts more boots to the back then goes back to the arm-bar. Blassie yells to stomp and “kick em” and Sheik acknowledges him but remains with the arm bar. Sheik then shoots a reversen half and makes a cover but Backlund bridges out of it at 1. Patterson makes note of Sheik’s olympic medal past as Backlund powers out of the hold and delivers a forearm to the gut. Backlund delivers another forearm but then just sits there on his knees to Sheik applies a surfboard. We get a TAPE EDIT….and we skip about 30 seconds to a minute and when we return, Patterson says it helps to have a manager at ringside. Backlund tries to power out of the surfboard but Sheik takes command for another 15 seconds. Bob eventually tosses Sheik and goes for a Nautilus cover but Sheik rolls over and delivers a side headlock, which Backlund scissors out of. Sheik rolls to his knees and bridges so Backlund tries a backslide but his shoulder gives out allowing Sheik to put the boots to him. Sheik misses an elbow drop as Arnold at ring side looks concerned. Sheik goes for a snap suplex but Backlund rolls out of it and goes for his finisher, the rolling prawn hold but again his shoulder gives out at 2. Blassie shouts at Sheik to “kick em” but Sheik instead stands over Backlund giving the sign for the camel clutch. Blassie continues to shout “KICK EM!” but Backlund gets to his knees allowing Sheik to put him in his finisher. Monsoon and Patterson raise their voices to signify how deadly the camel clutch was at the time however Backlund refuses to give up. After 15 seconds Arnold Skaaland stands up and throws in the towel despite the fact Backlund never gave up (these turn of events actually would turn into an angle 11 years later but we’ll get to that at another time). The ref sees the towel and calls for the bell and the crowd goes LIVID. The Iron Sheik is the new WWF Champion and the 5 year reign of Backlund is over. Freddie Blassie climbs in the ring and celebrates loudly with Sheik in the ring, Fred revealed in his autobiography that he new the predetermined outcome of the match but the enthusiasm that one of his proteges had won the title was 100 percent real. Monsoon hypes up the new champ and Patterson says “I am stunned.” Most of the crowd is stunned too, everyone now thinks John Cena or Triple H holds the title too long after a few months….try 5 YEARS. Hogan had the title from 84 to 88 and even that was shorter than Backlund’s reign. With this win, Iron Sheik cements his status as a hall of fame wrestler, it opens the door for Hogan and the Rock n Wrestling connection to step in and dominate the industry and it also plants a seed for a comeback by Backlund 11 years later. Blassie puts the belt on upside down as Howard Finkel announces the new champ. Sheik’s reign would only last a month but the night was his, and no one can ever take that away. Does this belong as a “greatest” match? Absolutely! We’re 2 out of 3 so far.
Time of match: An un-official 11:50 due to the tape edit

Winner: The Iron Sheik by submission (new WWF Champion)

There is no segment, on to the final match.

Match 4

The Country Boys (Hillbilly Jim and Uncle Elmer) vs The Dream Team (Brutus Beefcake and Greg Vallentine) with Luscious Johnny V

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Alfred Hays
On a tape titled GREATEST matches…..you mean to tell me that Brutus Beefcake, Hillbilly Jim and Uncle Elmer are capable of having a great match? Fortunately Greg “The Hammer” Valentine is involved so we’ll give this the benefit of the doubt for now since he’s capable of carrying a match. This Madison Square Garden match is from September 1985 since that’s after when the Dream Team beat The US Express for the belts, meanwhile Johnny V is wearing an impeccable suit. Hillbilly and Elmer enter without music as Monsoon says the advantage goes to The Dream Team based on their cohesiveness in the ring. Hays says the most dangerous wrestler of the match is Valentine (true) and Monsoon says he reminds him of Pedro Morales (also true). Brutus is in the long blue tights, Valentine is in the black trunks. Jim is in standard gear and Elmer has the white shirt on under the overalls. Greg starts out with Jim and the big guy cartwheels to show his injured leg has healed. (Dream Team did a number on him and Cousin Junior months earlier). Valentine wastes no time and springs with a headlock which Jim turns into a telegraphed big boot (seriously Greg, he put his foot up as soon as you left to run, how did you not see it coming?) Anyway Valentine does his “Valentine Flop” as Jim goes to work with a headbutt into the corner. Jim whips Greg off the corner and delivers a sloppy looking shoulder breaker which Valentine sells anyway. Hillbilly goes for the cover but the referee is out of position resulting in a one count. Jim goes to a side headlock then tags in Elmer who delivers a sloppy looking punch to the gut. Elmer picks Greg up by the throat and heaves him halfway across the ring. Valentine begs off in the corner before climbing up to the second rope as Elmer stands there shaking a fist at him. Valentine delivers a forearm to the back of the neck and I nearly spit out my popcorn….ELMER WAS WATCHING HIM GO UP THE TURNBUCKLE, WHAT DO YOU THINK HE WAS ABOUT TO DO? Valentine tags in Beefcake for the first time all match and he delivers a running boot to the neck. Beefcake stomps away then struts around the ring, heh. Valentine tags back in and delivers a running elbow drop to the fallen Elmer. Valentine drops another elbow then makes the cover, but Elmer tosses him off at 1. Beefcake tags in and baits Hillbilly Jim to get in the ring but neither one of The Dream Team does anything to take advantage. Beefcake continues to go to work but Elmer crawls his way to the corner and makes the tag to Jim. Hillbilly cleans house of Valentine and Beefcake before catching Brutus with a bearhug. Beefcake waves for Greg to help and he delivers a knee to the back of Hillbilly Jim, breaking the hold. Jim delivers a punch to the gut then somersaults into the corner to make the tag to Elmer. Elmer one arm slams Beefcake then drops a big leg on him before making the cover..1…nope, Valentine drops an elbow to save his partner. Hillbilly intercepts Valentine and now a brawl erupts, forcing Johnny V to make his way onto the apron. Jim headbutts him as Elmer does an avalanche to Beefcake in the corner. Elmer does a bearhug of his own in the middle of the ring on Beefcake but doesn’t see Valentine going upstairs. Greg comes off the top with a forearm that knocks Brutus on top of Elmer, and the ref turns around to see it..1…..2….3 and this one is over. Jim had more than enough time to make the save but didn’t turn around, which is why The Country Boys never did shit in their tenure, too stupid. First Elmer watches Valentine deliver a forearm and then Jim doesn’t have the presence of mind to turn his head 3 feet to notice his partner in trouble. Either way this mess is over and The Dream Team have retained the titles. Beefcake and Valentine bail with the belts as they are pelted with garbage then the credits roll.

Time of match: 4:59

Winners: The Dream Team by pinfall

Well, for a 4 match collector’s tape….it shockingly was pretty good. You had an awesome IC title match, the landmark title change from Backlund to Sheik, the talents of Greg Valentine and Paul Orndorff and of course the focal point of the company Hulk Hogan. The commentary was decent (shocking consider Alfred Hays was in one of the matches) and the tape was short and sweet for people that have lousy attention spans. Could have done without the edit job of Backlund’s match but other than that, nothing too much to complain about. Normally this would be a 4 star tape but this was supposedly the ‘GREATEST’ matches and I can’t forgive Uncle Elmer being in a match dubbed “the greatest” so a half star off for the obvious lie.  Another star off because that was not the best Hogan match they had either. 3 1/2 stars out of 5 and definitely watchable if you can get your hands on it. The next tape after this is THE HULKSTER HULK HOGAN so we’ll pick up there.

Best of the WWF Volume 6 (WF020)

We’ve made it to Volume 6 of the Best of series and hopefully now we can stay in the present. After RICKY THE DRAGON STEAMBOAT was somewhat of a disappointment, there’s nowhere to go but up. We will see Hogan vs Savage and that’s always entertaining. But will these be the BEST matches? Let’s find out. Cue the 1985 Opening and Gorilla Monsoon is our host today. He says we’re going to see Ricky Steamboat, Jesse Ventura, Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Ivan Putski, Johnny Valiant, Lanny Poffo, Terry Funk, midgets and more! Monsoon tells the fans to keep writing so they can provide the very best.
Match 1

“Leaping” Lanny Poffo vs Terry Funk

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Alfred Hays

Always nice to see Lanny in action, I always loved how not once did they ever mention he was the Macho Man’s brother in their respective runs. This match is from July 13, 1985 in Madison Square Garden. Once again, we’re going back to the past. Terry is by himself with no Hart in the red tights and Lanny in the silver. Before the match starts Funk beats up Mel Phillips on the outside before getting in the ring. They lock up and Alfred says Terry’s never been beaten in a bar room brawl. Terry gets the upper hand with right hands before he ducks under a leapfrog. Lanny goes for a move but Terry catches himself and falls into the ropes, causing the crowd to chuckle. Funk goes to work with knife edged chops and a left hand. A headbutt staggers both men before an elbow rocks Poffo. Lanny reverses an irish whip and Funk falls into the ropes again. Lanny caters to the crowd as Funk bails and shouts at the cameraman. Lanny and Funk reverse arm bars before Lanny back flips on his feet and locks in an arm wringer. Lanny gets the foot up on the shoulder for leverage. Funk then slips the leg in and falls backwards, causing Lanny to topple over the top to the floor. Funk screams at the fans and kicks at Poffo. Some guy in a corncob pipe slides Lanny back in the ring. Back inside Terry goes for an atomic drop but Lanny reverses it into one of his own. Funk staggers and bails through the ropes and to the outside. Back inside Funk slaps the chest of Lanny in the corner then rallies with left hands. A series of boxing jabs staggers Lanny as Monsoon bitches at the ref about the closed fists. A headbutt by Funk drops Lanny then goes for the figure four. Lanny powers out of it but eats axehandles to the back. Left elbows in the corner is met with a crescent kick and right hand from Lanny. Poffo wobbles Funk with a series of right hands. Lanny kicks away in the corner but two headbutts stop the momentum. Lanny bounces off the ropes and floors Lanny with a shoulderblock but falls through the ropes again. Terry goes to suplex Lanny to the floor and does, but Lanny wisely landed feet first before he fell. No way was he taking a bump on the cement floor. Funk goes outside and doggie headbutts Poffo before going back in and posing for the irate crowd. Some clown in the crowd says “I’m on tv mom!” as Funk suplexes Lanny back in the ring from the apron. Funk covers for 1….2…negative. Funk pushes the referee who gets in his face and threatens a disqualification. Funk then hits the Rude Awakening years before it was called that then covers for 1…2…no. Lanny hits a sunset flip out of nowhere for a long 2 count and the bell inadvertently rings. Lanny goes to town in the corner and whips Terry who Flair flips in the corner. Lanny kicks him over the top to the apron then snap mares him back in. A scoop slam is a set up for the second rope moonsault which was Lanny’s finisher. He hits it and covers 1…2…nope, didn’t hook the leg. Funk and Poffo trade blows before Terry gets the upper hand. Lanny reverses an irish whip before a frankensteiner stuns Funk, the cover gets 1…2..no. Funk recovers, whips Lanny off and locks in a sleeper hold right in the center of the ring. The fans cheer for Poffo who gets to his feet only for Terry to trip him up again. The ref checks Lanny and calls for the bell. He didn’t submit but the ref called the match for safety. Terry gets the branding iron and brands Lanny on the chest, luckily its not hot so all it leaves is ash. That was a great match that showcased the wily veteran slipping by the hot youngster. Did it belong on a tape like this? Anytime Terry Funk is on a WWF tape is a good thing, so yes.
Time of match: 13:06

Winner: Terry Funk by submission

Next up is the Mega Powers explodeeeeeeeee……3 ½ years early.

Match 2

“Macho Man” Randy Savage (with Miss Elizabeth) vs Hulk Hogan for the WWF Heavyweight Championship

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Alfred Hays

This match is from December 30, 1985 in Madison Square Garden. Hogan comes out to Real American for the first time in Coliseum Video history and is in the yellow tights. Savage is in the neon pink tights for this one. Hogan and Savage tie up and Hogan throws him to the ground. Savage gets a headlock in but is whipped off and shoulderblocked. Hogan chases Savage out of the ring and follows him to the floor. Savage gets Elizabeth to safety as Hogan taunts from the outside. Savage tosses a chair to the ring and Alfred says that accomplished nothing. They tie up and Savage gets a thumb to the eye and a snap mare. A knee drop stuns the champ and Hogan fakes Savage out. Savage went to jump on Hogan on the rope, but Hulk moved and Savage crashed to the mat. Hogan hits two right hands that send Savage into the corner. Hogan whips Savage into the other corner and clotheslines him down. Hogan hits an atomic drop that sends Savage through the ropes and to the outside. Hogan goes to attack Savage but Randy pulls Elizabeth in front of him. The crowd and Monsoon scoff as Hogan gets back in and demands Savage join him. Randy recovers and snap mares him. He goes upstairs but Hogan catches Randy mid-air and delivers a backbreaker. Savage bails and Hogan follows, then Randy pulls Elizabeth in front of him again. Savage tells the camera man to get lost before shouting at the irate crowd. Hogan nails Savage from behind and throws him into the ring. Savage alertly catches the champ with a knee then quickly goes upstairs and hits and axehandle. Savage covers for 1…2…nope. Savage throws Hogan to the outside then goes up to the top. An axehandle smash on the cement floor connects and Hogan is stunned. Savage slides in to break the count as Savage continues to go to work on the outside. Back inside Savage stomps away at the Hulkster then rallies with kicks and elbows. Another cover gets a 1, try hooking the leg! Hogan then Hulks Up and no-sells Savage’s punches. Hogan clotheslines Savage then stomps on his head. Hogan whips Randy off and big boots him to the outside. Hulk follows to the outside and Elizabeth stands over him. Hulk picks her up and throws her into the crowd….just kidding. He gently places her out of the way and throws Randy back inside. Randy is whipped off the ropes but gets a boot to the head. Randy goes for the flying elbow and HITS IT!!! He covers for 1……2….NOOOOOOO. Savage thinks he’s won it but the referee says no way. Savage turns around, sees Hogan coming and ducks, causing Hogan to clothesline Dick Kroll. Kroll is knocked goofy and Savage nails Hogan to the floor. Randy grabs the title belt and axehandles Hogan with it. Back inside Savage picks Kroll up and has him count Hulk out….IDIOT! You can’t win the title that way. Sure enough, the ref completes the count and Savage wins the match. Hulk is busted wide open as Elizabeth straps the belt around Savage. Fink gets in the ring and announces Savage the winner…..but….Hogan is still the champion. Savage goes berserk and knocks out Dick Kroll, then carries Elizabeth to the back…before Hogan stops him. Hogan nails Randy then picks him up in a fireman’s carry. Hogan rallies with right hands then clotheslines the Macho Man. Hulk picks his belt up and taunts Savage much to the crowd’s delight. Hogan whips Randy off but swings and misses with the belt. Savage beats a hasty to retreat as someone in the crowd holds up a Hogan Halloween mask. Monsoon says Hulk is guts personified. That was a great match with absolutely no rest holds. Did it belong on a tape like this? HELL YEAH! This was just a taste of things to come when these two would main event Wrestlemania 5.

Time of match: 10 minutes

Winner: Randy Savage by count-out (Hogan retains)

We go from two great matches to T.N.T. with Jesse Ventura with Alfred Hays hosting. Alfred opens a WWF Magazine and asks Ventura who’s better, him or Corporal Kirchner. Jesse “I was a former Navy Seal and we called those army guys ‘pukes’. Anyone who’s been in the military knows Navy Seals run circles around those pukes.” We go to Vince in the crowd with Robert Reid (no not the Houston Rockets player) who asks where Ventura got his ridiculous costumes. Ventura nonchalantly answers that its not a costume, its how he dresses. “One set of my clothes could probably buy your car.” Next up is Roger Korman (no not the famous movie director) and he wants to know if Rachel Ward is jealous of Miss Elizabeth being Jesse’s sidepiece. Jesse says there’s nothing going on between him and Elizabeth and Ward is old news. Finally an older man in a business suit named Phil Burke who’s nervous because Jesse is his favorite. He then babbles a question that’s too advanced for Jesse and Jesse says he can’t understand what he’s saying. We cut here thankfully. That looked to be heading in a funny direction and it was killed dead. No idea why this is on the tape other than to showcase Jesse. Next up is the midgets…..oh shit.

Match 3

Butch Cassidy vs The Haiti Kid

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Alfred Hays

Just what we needed, a midget match on a ‘best of’ tape. This better be good. This was on the December 30, 1985 Madison Square Garden undercard of Savage vs Hogan from earlier because you can see the exact same fans in the exact same spots. Haiti Kid is in the black trunks and Butch in ridiculous looking polka dotted long tights. At least Cassidy is well built. If he was 8 inches taller he could give Rey Mysterio Jr a run for his money. Monsoon says he’s almost as tall as referee Gil Roman. Haiti Kid chases Butch to the apron as Monsoon says midget matches were his favorite. He lists off Sky Low Low (of BLOOPERS, BLEEPS AND BODYSLAMS), Fuzzy Cupid, Lord Littlebrook (who would make an appearance 2 years later) and Little Beaver (of BIGGEST, SMALLEST, STRANGEST, STRONGEST). They tie up and Haiti Kid makes a clean break on the ropes. Butch backs Haiti in the ropes and clean breaks. Kid armdrags Cassidy twice and he complains about the tights pull. Kid gets in a headlock, Butch whips him off and eats a shoulder block. Kid bounces off the ropes, jumps over a confused Butch and scoop slams him. Butch eats two arm drags and locks in an arm bar. Monsoon says on his knees, Butch is as tall as Haiti Kid and if he grew any taller he’d be out of a job. Butch sends Kid off the ropes, leapfrogs over him but Kid reverses an arm drag. A backdrop stuns Cassidy and a standing dropkick sends Butch to his knees. Butch begs off and Haiti Kid rolls him up…and the ref doesn’t bother to count. Kid holds him for a good 10 seconds and Gil still doesn’t bother to make a count. Finally Cassidy lays flat on his back and Roman counts 1 before Kid pulls him up by the legs and midget spins him. Kid snaps the nose 3 stooges style and floors him with a right hand. Then they do the “one midget gets pinned, other one pushes him off into the ref’s arms and he drops him back on top” routine. Kid pushes the referee as everyone howls with laughter. Even Cassidy gives him a shove for good measure. Monsoon says Cassidy and Roman would make a good match. Butch takes Kid down with a go behind, Kid sits out, turns in and escapes. Monsoon asks if you can imagine being a high school wrestling coach with a 99 pound wrestler as a freshman who was still 99 as a senior? I’ve seen it happen. Cassidy wins a test of strength and goes to stomp on the hands, but Kid pulls them back in time, double stomps the feet of Cassidy who lands flat on his ass. Kid motions he’s going to kick Cassidy in the gonads but instead slingshots him across the ring. A series of chops send Cassidy into the second rope. Kid whips him off, nails him with a double chop, drops an elbow and covers for 1,….2….negative. Kid rams Cassidy into the second turnbuckle. Kid goes to town on Cassidy before nailing him with his finisher, the headbutt. He covers and gets the 1…2…NO. Cassidy slipped his arm through. Butch begs off and goes for a handshake only for Kid to bite him on the hand. Cassidy responds with an eye gouge and an elbow to the head. He rams Haiti Kid’s head into the buckle who no sells it and taunts Cassidy. A headbutt staggers Cassidy and two more stun him, A dropkick connects and Kid makes the cover 1….2..no, foot on the rope. Cassidy calls for time as Monsoon scoffs. Back inside Cassidy works over Kid in the corner, whips him to the other corner and hits a knee to the ribs. An elbow to the head is followed by a reversal of a whip by Kid and a backdrop, sending Cassidy on his back. Three chops drop Cassidy but a sloppy cover only gets two. Kid executes a swinging neckbreaker as someone in the crowd shouts to put him in a piledriver. An eye rake stops Kid’s momentum. Cassidy whips him off and executes a beautiful dropkick then an equally impressive snap suplex. Cassidy covers for 1…..2….nope. A gassed Cassidy scoop slams Kid and covers for a two count, forgot to hook the leg. Cassidy gets him up and executes a reverse shoulderbreaker. That should have done it but he has no gas left. A criss cross ends with Kid putting Cassidy in an airplane spin. Both men are staggering around but Kid recovers enough to shoulderblock Cassidy to the ground. Kid bounces off the ropes and Cassidy goes for the drop down but the alert Kid gets the feet in position and Little Louie rolls Cassidy for the 1..2…..3 and its over. WOW! I’m shocked…stunned! That was a good midget match. Yes it had some silly tactics but it wasn’t over the top silly and the guys actually put on a decent story. Does it belong on a tape like this, well this was probably the best midget match I ever saw so YES!

Time of match: 10:32

Winner: Haiti Kid by pinfall

We go back to the archives for the next match.

Match 4

Ivan Putski vs “Luscious” Johnny Valiant (with Captain Lou Albano)

Commentator: Vince McMahon

September 24, 1979 at Madison Square Garden saw a non-roided Putski take on Johnny in singles action. The Valiant’s were the reigning tag team champions and ironically it would be Putski and Tito Santana that would have the next title shot a month later. Johnny is in the long blue tights with white stars on them and Putski is in the black trunks. They announce Putski as undefeated and the guy’s thighs are enormous. This look NOTHING like the Hulkamania Putski we’d later see. Referee Terry Terranova has a problem getting Putski back to start the match and of course Lou Albano doesn’t help matters. Putski stalks Albano across the ring until Valiant attacks from behind with forearms. The bell rings and Valiant rakes the eyes. Valiant contines to work with boots to the gut who Putski no-sells. Headlock punches has the ref ticked about the open fist. More punches are no sold as Putski begins to get mad. Putski then goes wild with right hands until Valiant bails to the apron. Putski turns his back for one second and Valiant goes back to work with throat chops. Valiant pounds away as the crowd tries to rev up Putski. Ivan gets in a side headlock and two punches stun Valiant. Johnny goes down and begs off as Ivan stomps away. A Headlock has the crowd roaring and 3 headlocked punches has Johnny stunned. A big headbutt as Valiant staggering into the corner and Putski rams his own head into the buckle to psych himself up. Valiant drops to his knees and wants a handshake, Putski will have none of it. The crowd says no and on cue Putski drops Valiant with a right hand. Valiant sells it tremendously and Putski hip tosses Valiant halfway across the ring. Ivan whips Johnny off and backdrops him to the center of the ring. Valiant begs off again but gets the eye gouge in. More punches rock Ivan until he whips Johnny off the ropes. Ivan drops down twice before nailing Valiant with THE POLISH HAMMERRRRR….right in the chest. The crowd roars as Putski hits an aftershock splash for 1….2….3 its over. Madison Square Garden roars as Putski remains undefeated. Valiant retreats as we go to the replay to see Putski wallop Valiant with the Polish Hammer. Vince “Lusicous Johnny is not so luscious anymore”.  As a catch as catch can match, that was the drizziling shits. In terms of entertainment, selling and storytelling, that was a fun 4 minutes. The crowd was into it and everyone wanted to see the hammer, and they got it. Valiant was an average wrestler but he could talk, which is how he made the transition to manager. Does this match belong on a tape like this? Usually no but its for nostalgia purposes.
Time of match: 4:31

Winner: Ivan Putski by pinfall
Remember Freddie Blassie, Bobby Heenan and Lou Albano giving love advice on T.N.T.? Now its Lord Alfred Hays’ turn. I swear TNT was a god awful abomination but it got more play on these tapes than Championship Wrestling. All-Star Wrestling and almost every other program in syndication. We only have about 20 minutes of tape left so hopefully this will be quick and painless. Alfred is in his standard tux while Vince is in a dress shirt and dress pants. He asks Alfred what the difference is between English love and American love. Alfred says the gentlemen needs to hold hands while wearing gloves on the first date. He says on a second date you could go for a stroll in the park and kissing on the cheek could be too much action. Vince wants some action and says to jump to the 5^th date. Alfred says on the 5^th date you hug her but no kissy kissy. Vince “We’re getting nowhere fast here. How long would it take to become intimate!” Alfred  “Well on a normal courtship, I’d say about 5 to 6 months you’d finally get a kiss on the lips.” Vince pauses to milk the crowd’s laughter than says “Thank you for joining us. We’ll be back after this.”  Well that was funny but not in the classic sense. Alfred really did sound serious while Vince really was looking for some down and dirty action. Good news was the segment was short, but it sure as hell doesn’t belong on this kind of tape. Save it for something else. Anyway, onto the final match.
Match 5

Ricky Steamboat vs “Cowboy” Bob Orton

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Gene Okerlund
Well at least we’ll end the tape with a great match since everything Ricky did in the 80’s usually was great. Actually this is the exact same match featured on BEST OF THE WWF VOLUME 3 only without some of the edits so I’ll just re-post. Orton’s in the green trunks with Steamboat in the black, plus Orton still has the cast on. Orton comes off the ropes and narrowly avoids a karate kick. Orton bails to the outside and complains to the ref before slowly making his way back to the ring. Steamboat gives Orton crap about the cast on his arm before the tie up. Steamboat eats a shoulderblock but leapfrogs Orton and armdrags him. Steamboat wrenches the “injured” arm and does a number on it. Ricky whips Orton into the corner and chops him. Orton falls and Ricky continues to work over the left shoulder. Orton begs off but Steamboat shakes his head nooooo. Orton tries to bail but Ricky drags him back into the ring via the top rope. Steamboat goes back to the arm wringer, blocks a punch and continues to go to town on him. Steamboat wrenches the hammerlock with his FEET and falls backward twice. Ricky continues to work the arm with a kneedrop. Orton recovers and catches Ricky with a boot to the ribs. Ricky reverses a whip but Orton baseball slides right into a big chop from the future Dragon. Another armdrag takes Orton down as Okerlund says we’re witnessing something special. Ricky has the arm-bar locked in but Bob counters with a scoop slam. Ricky quickly recovers and scoop slams Orton. ANOTHER arm drag has the crowd popping. Monsoon shills the action until Orton gets to his feet. He tries a hiptoss but Ricky blocks it. Orton finally powers out of an arm-bar with a headbutt in the corner. A big forearm is followed by hiptossing Steamboat halfway across the ring. Orton executes a flying head scissors but the second attempted misses and he flails over the top rope to the floor. Orton grabs a fan’s drink and throws it at Steamboat who sells it like he had acid thrown on him. Orton goes on offense as Okerlund says the fan must be pissed without actually saying that. A big punch is followed by ramming Ricky’s head into the buckle. Orton lands another big right and follows it with a facebuster. A knee lift drops Ricky as Orton poses for the crowd and gets a decent pop actually. Orton still sells the arm wringers from earlier (a lost art today) but still catches Steamboat with a right hand. Orton applies a neck wrench and takes Steamboat to his knees with it. Orton snaps the neck then drops an elbow to the throat, but the cover only gets a two. Orton applies a rest-hold and goes to drop the cast on Ricky….but he moves out of the way in time. Orton sells the left arm and Ricky catches him with a chop. Ricky goes for the scoop slam but collapses with Orton on top 1…2..noooo, too close. Orton goes back to the standing chinlock then slams him down. Think of a rock bottom but without going underneath the arm. Orton covers for a deuce then shouts at the crowd “I came this close” and poses. Okerlund says that means nothing and Orton methodically stalks Ricky. They trade blows in the center of the ring before Ricky gets the upper hand with chops in the corner. A big right drops Orton but Bob counters with a punch to the ribs. Orton goes for a piledriver but is backdropped by Steamboat. Ricky goes up to the top rope and delivers the flying crossbody for 1…2..NOOOOOO. Orton becomes the first guy ever to kick out of Steamboat’s finisher. Ricky sends Orton off the ropes and catches him with a back elbow smash. A karate chop to the head is followed by a cover for 1….2…no. Okerlund “Come on Richard, gotta hook the leg.” Orton counters with an inverted atomic drop and throws Ricky over the top rope, but Steamboat skins the cat back in. Steamboat catches Orton with a running enziguri and Orton throws himself over the rope to the floor. Orton gets back on the apron and is met with a right hand. The ref tries to stop Steamboat from attacking which allows Orton enough time to get in an eye gouge. Orton goes to superplex Steamboat outside but Ricky counters by suplexing him back in. Ricky goes for a big splash but Orton gets his knees up. Bob adjusts his cast then goes up to the top rope. Stemboat staggers into a big left forearm off the top. The ref notices Orton used the cast and calls for the bell….WOW! A classic match ends with a cheap ending. The ref raises Ricky’s arm in victory and Orton goes berserk in protest. Orton chases Ricky with the cast but Steamboat ducks under and chops him. A series of chops sends Orton retreating to the back as Steamboat stands tall in the ring. We go to the instant replay with Okerlund and Monsoon giving their two cents Outstanding showing by both guys and Orton keeps his heat despite the loss. Did this belong on a tape like this? Considering it belonged on Volume 3, it definitely belongs on Volume 6.
Time of match: 12:37

Winner: Ricky Steamboat by DQ
The credits roll with the orchestral theme and this one’s history. Before we finish we get our standard 3 previews. BEST OF THE WWF VOLUME 7, VILLAINS OF THE SQUARED CIRCLE and BRUNO SAMMARTINO: WRESTLING’S LIVING LEGEND. That was a pretty damn good tape. The TNT segments were useless but 4 of the 5 matches were special.  The action was solid even though the tape only ran 75 minutes. At least we saw the Steamboat/Orton match in its entirety after it was clipped for the tape it was previously on. The only gripe I have is that the calendar had turned to 1986 but they were still showing matches from 1985 and prior. A lot of guys from the old guard plus even from 85 such as Jimmy Snuka were gone. The tag team era was about to take place with the Killer Bees, Hart Foundation, British Bulldogs and others while newcomers like Randy Savage and Ricky Steamboat were going to match the NWA’s highly touted cast of wrestlers. The problem was none of the tag teamers were featured here. It’s a shame they couldn’t clip a tag match in there just to showcase them. Still, the tape was pretty much a sneak preview of the future with Ricky Steamboat, Randy Savage and Hogan lighting up the cards. As for this tape, 4 stars out of 5. The Valiant match didn’t really belong and the TNT skits were useless. They could have substituted the skits with another match. I still HIGHLY recommend this tape. The next tape after this will get a little tricky, instead of the next video in the main lineage, we will look at the “Collector’s Series” beginning with WWF’S GREATEST MATCHES.

Ricky The Dragon Steamboat (WF019)

To have a personal profile tape this early in the Coliseum Video lineage, you have to be special. Discounting the god awful COUNTRY BOYS tape, the only ones who had personal profiles were the top stars ANDRE THE GIANT, Roddy Piper and Hulk Hogan (THE LIFE AND TIMES OF LOU ALBANO doesn’t count because Lou was a manager). Steamboat getting his own tape was a testament to his amazing talent as he wasn’t a champion nor was he even in the WWF as long as Hogan, Andre and Piper were. Tito Santana was a two time IC champion and he didn’t have his own tape (or ever get one). Does Steamboat deserve it though? Absolutely. He had some classic matches in the NWA and seemed ready to break out as a top star but he was held back by Dusty Rhodes. Going to WWF meant more exposure for sure, but he also had to play second fiddle to Hogan like he had to play to Rhodes. Ah well, least he got his own tape in WWF. Let’s stoke it up. Cue the 1985 Opening…oh and props to 411mania to discovering the two guys in the black and white segment of the opening were Lou Thesz and Rikidozan. Thesz needs to introduction while Rikidozan was pretty much the Thesz of Japan. He was Japan’s top star until he turned the page to his top two students, Antonio Inoki and Giant Baba….yes, All-Japan and New Japan’s founders. Gorilla Monsoon is our host tonight and he brings up how Steamboat has only been around a year and yet has had amazing matches. He says Steamboat will take on The Hammer, Don Muraco and Randy “Not so Macho Man” Savage (Monsoon’s words). We go to our first match before he’s even done with the introduction, geez, someone’s in a hurry.

Match 1

Ricky Steamboat vs Greg “The Hammer” Valentine (with Jimmy Hart) for the WWF Intercontinental Championship

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Gene Okerlund
This match is from June 21, 1985 in Madison Square Garden and its joined in progress. Steamboat is in the long black tights and Greg is in the red trunks. Steamboat stalks Greg with a karate pose until Greg tries to scoop slam him. Ricky blocks it until Greg turns it into a takedown. Ricky switches into a single leg takedown and chops Valentine in the gut. Greg staggers to his feet and Ricky goes to work with chops until Greg bails. Hart screams “No karate!” and Gene scoffs “Whataya mean no karate?” Jimmy “Hey ref, watch that kung fu karate!” Greg goes for forearms in the corner but Ricky blocks all of them and  chops Greg all the way to the ropes where he snap mares him then does the Perfect neckbreaker all in two swift motions. Damn he’s good. He locks in a chinlock until Greg gets to his feet and turns it into an arm ringer. Ricky reverses it and drops the champ with a reverse crescent kick. Monsoon and Okerlund agree they’d love to stick Jimmy’s megaphone in his ear. A quick thrust kick and back elbow smash sends Valentine to the match. Ricky stalks Greg in the corner before landing 5 kicks to the jaw. A chop to the chest is met with a Gene Okerlund “Hiyah!” The first cover of the match gets a two count. Ricky ducks under a clothesline and lands a crossbody for 1….2…nope, referee was out of position and he didn’t hook the leg. Steamboat goes to the front headlock until Greg backs him in the corner. Greg pounds away on Ricky in the corner with forearms. Ricky falls to the apron and Valentine delivers two forearms to the chest. Ricky recovers with a shoulderblock and two chops to the forehead before going upstairs. He stuns Greg with a flying chop and he tackles him to the ground. Ricky covers for 1…2..no. A scoop slam by the Dragon is wasted as Valentine gets his knees up on a splash attempt. Greg drops a knee to the ribs and we TAPE EDIT. Valentine works on the leg and goes for the figure four, only for Ricky to counter it with a cradle for 1….2..and no. Ricky does something to stun Greg but we miss it due to an unnecessary shot of the crowd. Ricky goes for a scoop but Hammer lands on top of him for 1….2…nope. Valentine catches Ricky with a forearm to the rubs and Steamboat goes tumbling through the ropes and to the outside. Hart taunts Ricky until the Dragon gathers his bearings. He looks to the crowd for support who pops. Ricky gets fired up, pounds the mat then starts no selling Greg’s offense. They trade blows until Steamboat gets the upperhand with overhand and knife edge chops. Greg goes down and Ricky has the crowd in an uproar. Two more chops drop the champ and Monsoon says he won’t get the pin because he didn’t hook the leg. Once again the cover gets a two and an elbow drops the Hammer. Ricky goes upstairs and delivers his flying crossbody for 1….2….NOOOOO, foot on the ropes. Greg recovers and back suplexes the Dragon. Greg drops two running elbows and covers for a two count, failing to hook the leg. Valentine goes for a figure four but Ricky counters by kicking him into the corner. More chops are followed by a roundhouse kick that sends Greg over the top rope to the floor. Hart picks Greg up and throws him back in but the bell rings. Stemboat chops both Greg and Jimmy through the ropes as the Fink gets in the ring. Monsoon speculates Greg was DQ’d but Fink announces Steamboat has won by count out. That was a pretty quick count by Dick Woehrle since the announcers missed it as well as the fans and Steamboat himself. We go to the replay as Monsoon says the title does not change hands on a count-out. We end the match here and that was something else. Classic booking as Steamboat beat up Valentine six ways from Sunday yet Greg retained the belt. Was it a good match? Yes it was, the story being told was the methodical Hammer could barely keep pace with the speed of the Dragon. These two would meet again years later, but for now Ricky gets the duke.
Time of match: clipped

Winner: Ricky Steamboat by count-out (Valentine retains)
Next up is a September 1985 interview on The Body Shop with Jesse Ventura. Ventura praises his own shades as he’s wearing jeans, cowboy boots and a yellow t-shirt with Manhattan written on it in the shape of NYC, clever. Ricky comes out in his black karate gi and takes a seat next to Jesse. Ventura asks how he’s doing and Ricky says pretty good. Jesse asks where the name Steamboat comes from and Ricky says he’s carrying on the family tradition. This is half true actually. When Ricky first started out he went under his real name, Richard Blood. Once he ended up in the Florida territory, Eddie Graham felt that the name sounded too heel like (compared to Dick Blood?) and decided to re-name him. Since he had Hawaian blood, Graham had him renamed Ricky Steamboat, the son of Hawaiian legend Sammy Steamboat. The funny part was nobody bothered to tell Ricky before he went to the ring the night he was renamed. The announcer referred to him as Ricky Steamboat, son of Sammy and Ricky tried to tell him that’s not his name, only for the announcer to mutter “shaddup, that’s your name now” or something like that. Ventura then says “so wait, your great great grandfather didn’t climb a coconut tree, see a steamboat and say that’s a good name for himself?” Ricky counters “No, he was standing on a volcano.” Ventura then goes into fashion mode asking what’s the deal with the outfit and says that kung fu he’s been using is illegal. Ricky “Illegal?” Ventura bitches that he’s going for the throat and Ricky says he’s checked the WWF rules and says he uses open hands, not fists like Jesse uses. Ventura “waiiiiiit a minute!” Ventura says “You don’t bend the rules?” Ricky answers no so Jesse gets bent out of shape and ends the show right then and there. Its funny because Ricky really never did bend the rules. There’s a very, very short list of guys that had a long, productive career that never worked heel. The three names I can think of are Tito Santana, Rey Mysterio Jr and Ricky Steamboat. That’s also why Ric Flair says Ricky is NOT the best wrestler of all time, because he never worked heel. It would have been interesting to see Ricky come out strutting with shades and telling the fans to stick it, but since he never did it, its hard to imagine that.
We go from an interview with Jesse to an infamous “training” segment. Once again Vince couldn’t leave well enough alone and had to give Ricky a “personality”. No he didn’t sing and dance on T.N.T. (that I know of) but he did have this “training” portion on the show. The segment is called “Becoming the dragon: the three moments of truth”. Gene Okerlund is on location with Ricky at the temple of Chang-Lao. They walk across a wooden bridge as Gene admires the scenery. Ricky says it wasn’t always serene and that it was the site of his first test: The Bridge of Serenity. We then cut to Ricky beating up ninjas in black masks…yes of course I’m serious. Now many say that the ninjas were midgets, but they’re not. They just happen to be a bit shorter than Ricky, but they’re not full fledged midgets. The object is to cross the bridge and Ricky does that after beating up the two ninjas. Some of the blows were definitely choreographed but at least they didn’t have any goofy sound effects. Back to Gene and Ricky and the Dragon says years of training saved him there. Gene and Ricky walk into the “Garden of Tranquility”. Its not really a garden as it is a stone walkway with rocks around. Ricky says this is where he went through his second test. He’s fighting ninjas again only with sticks. He dispatches them quickly as we go back to Gene and him. Gene brings us to the third test, “The Temple of Chang-Lao” where Ricky says it was the hardest one of all since he had to do it in front of all the monks. This time he’s attacked by four ninjas who he completely annihilates in short order. He bows to Chang Lao himself who presents him with a black belt for surviving the three tests. As silly as this sounds, it could have been a lot worse. It did show Steamboat beating the crap out of groups of ninjas by himself, and if he can do that, guys like Greg Valentine and Don Muraco stand no chance. Onto the next match.
Match 2

Ricky Steamboat vs Brutus Beefcake (with Luscious Johnny V) in a Street Fight

Commentators: Jack Reynolds and Billy Red Lyons

May 26, 1985 in what appears to be the Maple Leaf Gardens saw Steamboat take on Brutus in what Monsoon in the overdub calls a No-DQ, No count-out affair. So it’s a street fight without actually calling it that…great. Steamboat is in the long black tigts and Brutus is in the long zebra striped tights. Beefcake attacks Steamboat from behind before he can take his gi off. He drags Steamboat to the apron where he pounds away with forearms to the chest. Once Ricky is outside, Brutus sends Ricky to the barriet and chokes him with his own black belt. The referee isn’t counting and I wonder why until the bell rings once Brutus sends Ricky inside. NOW the match has officially begun. Brutus sends Ricky off and clotheslines him. Billy says it was a mistake for Ricky to wear that outfit to the ring and Brutus drops the Dragon with a right hand. Brutus poses for the irate crowd and drops a boot off the second rope. A scoop slam is followed by more boots to the sternum. Brutus struts for the angry crowd before Ricky begins to rally with right hands. Karate chops from Ricky sends Brutus into the corner. Brutus reverses an irish whip and drops Ricky with a clothesline. Brutus drops a big forearm and covers, the referee takes forever 1…..2…no. Beefcake pulls the top part of the gi over ricky’s head hockey style and pounds away. Ricky finally sheds the gi and Jack finally calls it such after calling it a kimono up until this point. Guess Vince was in his ear in the production truck. Beefcake rams Ricky’s head into the buckle and pounds Ricky’s chest with forearms. Ricky just beat the crap out of four ninjas armed with weapons and now he can’t beat up Brutus Beefcake? Beefcake continues to pound away only now Ricky is no-selling it. Ricky blocks a turnbuckle attempt and rams Brutus’ head into it. Ricky chops Beefcake but falls on a scoop slam attempt. Brutus covers for 1….2….noooooo. Ricky kicks out just in time. Brutus lands a series of boxing jabs followed by two forearm smashes. Steamboat then blocks a series of forearms before sliding under Brutus’ legs. A chop stuns Brutus before a big chop drops him. Ricky rings the arm then crescent kicks Brutus three times until he drops. A knife edge chop to the throat staggers Brutus who swings and misses. A knee to the ribs stuns the Dragon but Ricky ducks under a haymaker. Ricky swings and misses himself and Brutus makes him pay with a clothesline that nearly decapitates the Dragon. We get a TAPE EDIT and now Steamboat is rallying. Brutus then counters a scoop slam with a back suplex then bridges for 1…2…..nope. Ricky gets the shoulder up at 2 3/4. Brutus kicks away at Ricky and taunts him. Brutus punches, kicks and stomps the Dragon. Beefcake goes to the outside, drags Ricky out and slams him on the cement floor. Beefcake gets in the ring but distracts the ref, allowing Johnny to attack…but he doesn’t. Ricky gathers his bearings but Beefcake reaches through the ropes and brings him back in the ring. Beefcake goes for the piledriver but Ricky counters with a backdrop. Reynolds reiterates that this is No count outs and no DQ. Ricky catches a foot and chops Brutus down. A running chop drops Brutus then Ricky does the swinging neckbreaker. More chops follow and a reverse atomic drop stagger Brutus. Beefcake goes upstairs and hits the flying crossbody. The cover gets 1…2…..no. The ref’s arm doesn’t drop for three but the fans and the announcers say Ricky has won it. The lights go on as well but there was no 3. Everyone was fooled on that one. The lights go back off as Ricky rallies in the corner. Brutus reverses an irish whip but misses the charge. Ricky goes for a scoop slam but Johnny holds the foot of the Dragon. Brutus falls ontop with Johnny still holding on…1…..2….3 its over. The lights go on but all of a sudden the ref for whatever reason waves off the pinfall. Brutus raises his arms in victory but the ref snaps it downas the lights go off again. He tells Beefcake that he saw Johnny holding the foot, which is the correct call but why did he count 3 to begin with? Brutus throws Ricky over the top rope and argues with the ref. Ricky skins the cat back in, runs and rolls up Brutus for 1…2…..3 and NOW its over. The lights go on for a final time as Johnny V jumps into the ring to protest. Johnny takes a swing at the ref as he exits the ring with the victorious Steamboat. Jack says the referee’s name is Frank Gore…no, not the San Fransisco Giants running back. We go to the replay to see the real pinfall and we cut here. That was a wild match that Brutus controlled for most of it. Ricky got the pinfall but he didn’t look too impressive during it. Not only that, it was a street fight that wasn’t even all that violent. Then again, not much Ricky can do with Brutus but get beat up and make the comeback. I’m just glad its over.
Time of match: 13:27

Winner: Ricky Steamboat by pinfall
To set up the next feud, we have to go to an episode of T.N.T. where Vince in a decent looking brown suit interviews Don Muraco and Mr. Fuji. Vince brings up Steamboat and Muraco says his actions speak louder than words. Vince, Fuji and Muraco look at footage of Muraco attacking Steamboat and hanging him. Don says King Curtis Iaukea was the only Hawaiian wrestler that he admired and he has no love for Ricky. Fuji and Muraco hang Steamboat and glad-hand each other on the TNT set. Muraco says that Ricky’s too soft and he’s in his world now. Muraco says he’s as far as he going to go and doesn’t need any more titles. Kind of stupid and Vince counters “Well if you’re on top, there’s only one way to go, down!” Muraco says he won’t go down, but he’ll spit down at people under him. Muraco says he’s got some fat broads for him and he’s having a heck of a time with Mr. Fuji.  So the dastardly Muraco fired the first shot and its now time for revenge one step at a time.

Match 3

Ricky Steamboat vs Mr. Fuji

Commentators: Vince McMahon and Bruno Sammartino

After being hung by Fuji and Muraco, Ricky vowed revenge. On August 20, 1985 he got Mr. Fuji first. Fuji is in the long red tights and Ricky the long black. Ricky sprints to the ring and attacks Fuji before the bell rings. Howard Finkel almost didn’t make it out of the way. Ricky chops Fuji, sends him off and chokes him with the black belt. Ricky strangles Fuji as Vince says its payback from before. Referee Dick Woehrle doesn’t even bother to make a 5 count. Ricky chops and punches Fuji before delivering an atomic drop. Ricky lands a double chop but Fuji counters with a punch to the gonads…ow. Ricky pounds the mat in frustration as Fuji drops Ricky with his own chops. A falling headbutt has the crowd chanting “Steamboat!” Fuji locks in a nerve hold but Ricky powers out of it with a chop to the head. Fuji retaliates with a chop of his own before reapplying the hold. Ricky once again powers out of it with chops and a leapfrog but Fuji alertly gets a knee to the ribs. Going back to the nerve hold, Vince calls Fuji a world class wrestler. Steamboat does the fade-then-revive routine. Ricky rakes the eyes and chops Fuji down. Ricky goes upstairs and catches Fuji with the flying crossbody for 1….2..nope, Fuji kicks out. Ricky goes for the big splash but Fuji gets the knees up. Bruno says that’s the first time he’s seen someone kick out of that and Vince says Ricky didn’t hook the leg. Ricky rolls through a back suplex, rolls up Fuji and gets the 1..2….3 to win the match. Steamboat beats a hasty retreat as Fuji is stunned in the ring. Decent crash style match but that made Steamboat look bad. They should have booked Steamboat to leave Fuji a bloody mess in the ring and say that Muraco is next. Instead he’s booked to barely beat Mr. Fuji the MANAGER! If he can barely beat Fuji, how’s he going to beat the former IC champion Muraco? Still, decent crash style match
Time of match: 4:06

Winner: Ricky Steamboat by pinfall

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE! After the match, Muraco runs out and attacks Steamboat with a chair. He breaks the wooden thing over him and Fuji assists in stomping him. Muraco and Fuji leave to a chorus of boos as Vince puts over Muraco as a heel, calling him every name in the book. Vince goes to the replay of Muraco breaking the chair on Steamboat’s back. Bruno says the duo should be fined and suspended and we cut here. Muraco was building tremendous heat and you know the grudge match would come eventually.
Match 4

Ricky Steamboat vs Don “The Magnificent” Muraco (with Mr. Fuji)

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Alfred Hays

October 18, 1985 in the Capital Center saw the long awaited grudge match between Steamboat and Muraco. We’re joined in progress and Muraco is in standard gear with Steamboat in the….you guessed it…long black tights.  Muraco stands on the apron as Ricky gets bent out of the shape in the ring. Ricky ducks under two clotheslines, reverses a whip and drops Muraco with a big chop. A hiptoss is followed by a scoop slam. A knee lift sends Muraco to the floor and the ref has to hold Steamboat back. Monsoon scoffs at the ref for holding him back as Muraco regroups with Fuji. A test of strength is won by Muraco who pounds away at the Dragon in the corner. Ricky reverses a whip and backdrops Don before hip tossing him again. A scoop slam has Muraco sliding through the ropes onto Monsoon and Alfred’s announce table. Monsoon says Muraco is in their lap, literally. Gorilla taunts him as Muraco gets to his feet and says “Shut up you sonovabitch.” Muraco gathers his bearings and slowly makes his way into the ring. Don purposely stalls then lands a right hand to Steamboat’s head. Ricky rams Muraco’s head into the buckle and lands a right hand. He goes for another right hand but referee Dick Woehrle grabs his arm which allows Muraco to connect with a right hand. Monsoon gives Woehrle a tongue lashing as Steamboat staggers around. “You cannot do that!” Muraco gets a thumb to the throat and delivers a back suplex. Muraco drops a knee and snap mares him over. Muraco slingshots Ricky throat first onto the bottom rope. An atomic spike staggers Ricky and Muraco scoop slams him down. Another scoop slam is followed by a clothesline but Ricky keeps getting up. A slam and another clothesline sends Ricky over the top rope to the outside. Muraco reaches through the ropes to slam ricky’s head into the apron. Muraco slides outside and drops Ricky throat first onto the barrier. Alfred says Muraco should go for the piledriver as Ricky makes it to the apron. Muraco clotheslines him down as Ricky slides into the ring. Muraco whips Steamboat off but Ricky ducks under the right hand and executes a desperation clothesline. Muraco slides to the apron then goes upstairs. Ricky catches him and slams him off the top rope. Ricky scoop slams Don and caters to the crowd. ANOTHER scoop slam has Ricky fired up and he atomic drops Muraco, who catches his head in between the ropes. Ricky chops away at Muraco as Woehrle unties him. On the floor, Ricky sends Muraco into the side of the ring. Steamboat goes upstairs and chops Muraco on the apron, who falls off. On the floor again Ricky rams his head into the apron before sliding back into the ring. Ricky suplexes him into the ring and caters to the crowd. Sensing victory, Ricky chops Muraco twice before unloading with a series of right hands. Woehrle literally throws Ricky off of Muraco and Monsoon gets pissed. Dick does it twice more and Ricky goes upstairs, executing the big chop. Fuji hops up on the apron and Ricky grabs his cane. Woehrle tries to wrestle the cane away as Fuji reaches into his hat and hands a pair of brass knuckles to Muraco. Sure enough, Ricky sends Muraco off who eats a big chop. Ricky goes for another chop but Muraco sneaks a punch to the throat, then falls ontop of Steamboat for 1….2….3. Muraco wins it! Great match…but what the hell? Did Piper, Andre or Hogan lose on their profile tapes? No? So why did Steamboat? Wow, who the hell thought that was a good idea? We cut here so even if Ricky beat him up after the bell, we won’t see it. So Ricky gets hung and Muraco gets the last word? Wow….not a great booking job for this tape at all.

Time of match: Joined in progress

Winner: Don Muraco by pinfall

We now go to a special Piper’s Pit with Ricky in the rare blue trunks, a purple warm up jacket and white boots with “Cowboy” Bob Orton standing behind Roddy Piper (in standard Pit gear). Piper sarcastically calls Ricky a new heart-throb but Piper says he’s just as hot. Piper says Ricky hasn’t had a match longer than 5 minutes and wonders why he hasn’t wrestled anyone good yet. He also calls Ricky a cheater for using martial arts just like Ventura did earlier. Piper “You may be fooling them, but you’re not fooling me for a second.”  Ricky “Well I’m sorry about that RODNEY.” Piper gets pissed and says “My name is Roderick, short for Roderick the Conquerer” Ricky “Oh, I’m sorry Conker.” Piper “That’s Conquerer! My name is Roddy Piper!” Ricky “Well what is it, Roddy, Piper or Conker?” Piper “I’ll tell ya what it is!” Orton slowly makes his way over and he and Piper sandwich Steamboat while Piper taunts him. Ricky sheds his jacket and Piper looks ready to go….and we cut. OH COME ON!!! That looked to be heading somewhere but instead we cut HERE? We had to watch the ridiculous training video in its entirety but THIS got clipped? What the hell ever…on to the next match.
Match 5

Ricky Steamboat vs Davey Boy Smith

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura

If cutting Piper’s Pit wasn’t bad enough, we’re ending the tape with two matches we’ve already seen. Steamboat’s two matches from WRESTLING CLASSIC. So yes, another loss is coming up. First he goes up against Davey Boy in the first round. I’ll just re-post from the earlier Classic post. Davey is in the long red tights while Steamboat is in the long black. They shake hands to start the match then go through standard go-behinds. Davey hiplocks Steamboat to the ground. Davey Boy back drops Ricky in a pinfall position for 1….2…nope, Dragon bridges out of it and turns it into a backslide for 1…nah. Steamboat runs off the ropes into a overhead press slam. Davey covers for a near fall then applies a front headlock as Ventura says Stemboat’s giving up a lot of strength to Bulldog. Davey hits another overhead press slam for another 2 count as Monsoon scoffs at Davey for not hooking the leg. Davey goes for a suplex but Steamboat counters with a delayed suplex of his own…..Davey Boy’s trademark. Ricky goes for a splash but Bulldog gets the knees up to counter. Davey Boy executes two standing dropkicks which send Steamboat into the ropes. Bulldog goes for a third dropkick but Ricky moves out of the way and Davey Boy crotches himself on the top rope. The ref runs over, checks on Davey and calls for the bell……what the hell? Steamboat also goes and checks on Davey Boy as the ref awards the match to Dragon…..first and last time I’ve ever seen a match end this way. Cheap ending but it was a good match for a 3 minute crash style. Monsoon says Ricky didn’t want to win this way and Ventura scoffs. We go to the replay and Ventura calls what we just saw.

Time of match: 2:54

Winner: Ricky Steamboat by stoppage
We don’t bother with a segue, onto the final match of the tape.

Match 6

Ricky Steamboat vs “Macho Man” Randy Savage (with Elizabeth)

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura

Once again I have no idea we’re ending the tape with another loss but what the hell. I’ll go with another re-post. Randy comes out to Pomp and Circumstance and the purple trunks. Ricky is in the long black tights. Before the match Savage sticks a finger into Ricky’s face who slaps it away then Savage runs and hides behind Elizabeth, heh what a heel. Stemboat turns his back so Savage attacks him from behind while still wearing his headband and cape. Steamboat slides under Savage and chops him through the ropes to the outside. Randy pulls Ricky out and brawls with him outside before they roll back in. Savage takes over on offense with right hands in the corner until Steamboat counters with a head scissors over the top rope to the floor.  Steamboat chops Savage on the floor then atomic drops him to the concrete. Ricky throws him inside then hits his karate chop to the chest of a running Macho Man. Savage ducks under a second chop and delivers a back suplex as Ventura makes his way back to the commentating table. Savage goes upstairs but Ricky catches him in the gut with a right hand then delivers a knee lift. Steamboat unloads with a series of fists drops then suplexes Savage halfway across the ring. Steamboat goes upstairs and hits THE FLYING CROSSBODY for 1…2…thre…no wait, Savage kicked out at 2. Ventura is openly cheering for Savage and Steamboat chops and punches Savage to the ring apron. Savage reaches into his tights for a Foreign Object and when Steamboat goes for a back suplex, Savage nails Ricky with whatever he had. Savage covers for 1….2…THREE???? You gotta be kidding, that was WAY too short for 2 guys as talented as they were. It was going good too, damn…..should have been much longer. Monsoon says that Ventura gave Savage brass knuckles in the back as Ventura scoffs.
Time of match: an unacceptable 3:26

Winner: Randy Savage by pinfall

We end the tape with the credits and the previews but I don’t care. I still don’t understand why in a 6 match tape, 2 losses were included. You didn’t see Piper, Andre or Hogan losing so why did Steamboat get the shaft? Guess Vince was once again trying to make the NWA look bad by having one of their top stars look inferior to Hogan and Andre. Still, the immense talent of Steamboat saved him from obscurity, even after Randy Savage appeared from Memphis and took the IC title away from Tito Santana. As sad as it sounds, Steamboat’s tape came out in early 1986 and he’d still have 2 years worth of good matches (including one special) still to come. Did I like the tape? For the most part yes, but again, you want to make your stars look as good as possible…YOU DON’T SHOW THEM LOSING! I mean, everyone has to lose at some point to put someone else over, and Steamboat had no problem with that…but there’s a time and a place for that. I give this tape 3 stars out of 5….1 point off for the losses and 1 point off for it only being 80 minutes long. They could have squeezed 10 more minutes of footage in there. The next tape after this is BEST OF THE WWF VOLUME 6, hopefully Steamboat will have better luck on that one.

Wrestlemania 1 (WF004)

WRESTLEMANIA 1 (WF004)

After BEST OF THE WWF VOLUME 1 came the first WRESTLEMANIA. There’s a lot of backstory that went into the making of it and I’ll try to do the best I can to piece it all together. It started when Vince McMahon Jr purchased Georgia Championship Wrestling from Jim Barnett in May of 1984. GCW had been broadcast on Ted Turner owned TBS “The Superstation” for a decade and it featured classic NWA wrestling. In what would later be called “Black Saturday”, on July 14, 1984 Vince McMahon appeared on Georgia Championship and switched the programming from NWA wrestling to re-runs of WWF matches. The predominantly southern fans revolted as the difference in product between the NWA and WWF was severe. Instead of classic wrestling they got cartoon wrestling. The ratings hit the toilet almost immediately and Turner was pissed. To get back at Vince, Ted allowed a half hour timeslot for Ole Anderson’s Championship Wrestling From Georgia featuring anyone that refused to go to the WWF when first bought (among those were Jake Roberts, Gordon Solie and Ted Dibiase). Vince was pissed and felt that only he should be allowed on the Superstation. Turner told him to improve the ratings or get lost. Vince then sold his timeslot to Jim Crockett Promotions for a huge chunk of cash. What did he do with that cash? That’s the second part of the story. While all this was going on, in his own company, Hulkamania was running wild. Hulk Hogan was a huge ratings draw wherever he was booked and was starting to get national attention. Something was missing though, Vince knew if he wanted to hit the big time, he needed to be in the mainstream. That’s when a lucky plane ride changed the course of wrestling history. Captain Lou Albano just happened to be on the same plane as rock star Cindy Lauper and the two struck up a friendship. Cindy then asked Lou to play the role of her father on her world famous video “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”. Soon after Cindy began popping up at WWF events which led to MTV taking notice. In what would become the “Rock N Wrestling Connection” 9 days after Vince started airing his crap on GCW, MTV aired “Brawl To End It All” which launched WWF into the national spotlight. This was followed up by “War To Settle The Score” which featured Hulk Hogan taking on top heel “Rowdy” Roddy Piper (who was stolen from the NWA a year prior). Now with the mainstream attention and a huge chunk of change from the GCW sale, Vince needed a home run show. Supercards were nothing new, Starrcade 83 had been the most successful for the NWA. Vince knew he needed something bigger. Something that would revolutionize the wrestling business and how supercards should be run. TV tough guy Mr. T had befriended Hulk Hogan and Vince decided to run a supercard featuring a tag match featuring his top heels (Piper and Paul Orndorff) and Hogan/T. He had the venue set for Madison Square Garden and he had the finance, he just needed a name. Howard Finkel…yes, The Fink himself suggested “Wrestlemania” and Vince ran with it. Shown on closed-circuit television, Wrestlemania 1, the first of what would become the pinnacle of wrestling events was held on March 31, 1985 and it featured the biggest showdown of the year with television superstar Mr T along with WWF Champion Hulk Hogan taking on the biggest heel in not only the WWF but in wrestling as well “Rowdy” Roddy Piper and “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff. I’m not kidding about the heel line, even though Flair was a heel as a part of The Horsemen he was loved in his role and over in the AWA did anyone give a damn about Stan Hansen? Piper was definately the number 1 heel in wrestling at this point so to see him get his possible comeuppance from the Hulkster was something everyone wanted to see.  Also included was the famous 15,000 dollar slam match where if Andre slammed Big John Studd he’d win 15 grand but if Studd won Andre would retire. Plus we get a tag team title match between the original Un-Americans Nikolai Volkoff and Iron Sheik against the US Express Barry Whindam and Mike Rotundo. This event started it all so let’s get right down to it. Vince McMahon’s voice appears and runs down the card before we get sent to Monsoon, Ventura and Gene Okerlund who sings the national anthem (ugh).

MARCH 31, 1985

MADISON SQUARE GARDEN

NEW YORK, NY

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura
Match 1

Tito Santana vs The Executioner

You know…..I think its really dumb they had to hide “Playboy” Buddy Rose (The Executioner) like this, but since this was a one time appearance I guess it was justified. I still get a kick how Mean Gene Okerlund would interview both participants in the matches mere seconds after the other departed the screen…and this was back when kayfabe was still a big deal. Executioner (who clearly looks and sounds like Buddy Rose) says he’s gonna go after Santana’s leg while Tito says he’s gonna win….arriba! Bells gone and they run the ropes adjacent from each other before Santana hits a backdrop and a dropkick on The Executioner who falls through the ropes to the outside. Ventura “Woodstock was to rock n roll what Wrestlemania is to wrestling” well put. Back inside Santana hits a headlock who walks up the rope and turns it into a headlock takeover. Executioner and Santana trade blows before Executioner takes over in the corner and hits a knee to the solar plexus. Executioner goes for a figure four but Santana blocks it, then he goes for a step over toe wrench which Santana counters into a cradle for a near fall. Santana fires away in the corner and goes for a piledriver, but Executioner counters with a back drop. He hits a bodyslam and goes upstairs but Santana catches him with a slam off the top. Santana goes for a big splash but Executioner gets the knees up just in time, then he works over the left leg on the second rope before Tito kicks him over the top rope into the time-keeper’s table. Tito hits a power slam from the apron to the ring and hits the flying forearm out of nowhere. Tito drags him to the center of the ring and locks in the figure four as Executioner submits quickly though the time keeper’s asleep and takes forever to ring the bell. Howard Finkel gets in the ring with the official word as Santana takes the first match in Wrestlemania history.

Time of Match: 4:40

Winner: Tito Santana by submission
Alfred Hays in the aisle way shills the upcoming Bundy/Jones showdown who sends it to Okerlund who interviews Jones first. SD “I’m gonna get down with the biggest man in town” and 5 seconds after Jones leaves in walks Bundy and Hart…..like I said earlier, this was back when kayfabe was a real big deal so we’re supposed to believe Bundy let him stand there and say all this stuff? Bundy says he’s gonna avalanche the poor guy and get the 5 count. Back to ringside….

Match 2

King Kong Bundy (with Jimmy Hart) vs SD Jones

SD Jones was your basic mid-card face at the time while Bundy was a rising monster heel, fresh from being a member of the Legion of Doom in the NWA. Jones runs into Bundy at the bell and Kong catches him in a bearhug then rams him into the corner. Jones crumples to the floor then gets up as Bundy hits the avalanche followed by the big splash for 1…2….3 and its over just like that. Monsoon and Ventura can’t believe it as Howard Finkel gets on the mic. “Time of the fall….9 SECONDS…your winner King Kong Bundy” Um, what? I specifically counted 23 seconds (which Monsoon ironically says is the previous record) so this was all just hooplah to get Bundy over as Hogan’s future opponent.

Time of match: 23 seconds

Winner: King Kong Bundy by pinfall

Back to Alfred Hays who shills the upcoming match as Bundy makes his way back to the locker room. Mean Gene interviews Borne first and he says Steamboat’s too nice of a guy and he’s gonna beat him up then Ricky comes in and scoffs at Borne for basically calling him a wuss and says he’s gonna take him out.

Match 3

“Maniac” Matt Borne vs Ricky Steamboat

This could be the sleeper as match of the night because Borne was more talented than he looked (and this was 8 years before he became Doink the Clown) and we all know how great Steamboat was. Borne was competing in tboth Portland and Mid-South when he was brought in for the match. Ventura hypes Matt’s father “Tough” Tony Borne who wrestled many moons ago including an encounter with Gorilla himself. They tie up to start before Steamboat leapfrogs over Borne and goes for the double chop but Matt catches himself, then runs into the double chop anyway. Steamboat hits a snap mare and a headlock as Monsoon hypes up him and Jimmy Snuka as possible tag team title contenders. Steamboat rolls through an atomic drop attempt and hits one of his own, then mocks Borne’s selling of the maneuver. Steamboat goes back to the side headlock before Borne hits an inverted atomic drop and a knee lift. Borne fires away in the corner but Steamboat hits a boot to the head (yeah yeah!) and a chop from the second rope. Steamboat hits another double karate chop as the announcers shill Ricky’s physique and Borne’s intelligence. Borne backs Ricky in the corner and hits a series of knee’s to the mid-section followed by a BtB suplex. Matt hits a snap suplex and covers for 1..2…nope, they trade blows in the ring before Steamboat gets the upper hand with karate chops. Steamboat hits a back suplex, a reverse neckbreaker and 2 knee drops for a cover of 1..2…nope. Steaboat leapfrogs over Borne and hits some sort of double punch to the face, then he goes upstairs and hits the FLYING CROSSBODY for 1…2….three and we have a winner. Short and sweet….so much for my match of the night prediction.

Time of match: 4:38

Winner: Ricky Steamboat by pinfall

Back to Alfred Hays who hypes up the upcoming Sammartino/Beefcake showdown before sending it over to Okerlund with the pre-match interview. David says he and his dad have been training hard and he’s gonna avenge Hillbilly Jim by taking Beefcake out before Bruno says if Johnny V interferes he’s gonna knock him out.  Beefcake and Johnny enter WHILE DAVID IS STILL ON SCREEN….are u kidding me, Verne Gagne would have a heart attack if he saw this going on in the AWA. Anyway Johnny V cuts a funny promo that’s too fast to be mentioned here so let’s go back to ringside. Its funny how Johnny Valiant became a manager for WWF while brother Jimmy was still competing for Crockett at this time.
Match 4

Brutus Beefcake (with Johnny Valiant) vs David Sammartino (with Bruno Sammartino)

Poor David, the old man’s shoes were too big to fill and even when matched up against a stiff like Beefcake, he STILL gets laughed at. There’s no referee in the ring so they stall for a while as Monsoon and Ventura discuss the possibility of Beefcake being “Luscious” Johnny Valiant’s son. They exchange tie-ups after the bell before David hits a drop-toe hold as the camera pans to Bruno outside. They exchange go-behinds and takedowns before Brutus slides under the ring and regroups with Valiant. Back inside David hits a series of old school takedowns and goes to the front headlock, a Sammartino trademark. Beefcake threatens to pound the ref before David counters a scoop slam with an arm-bar. David drops a leg on the left shoulder before Beefcake gets up and hits a high school style headlock for 1…2..nope. Brutus hits a shoulder-block and an arm=drag but Sammartino nips up and catches Beefcake with a double toe-hold. Beefcake powers out of it but David catches the leg and applies a step-over. Brutus counters a figure four attempt but Sammartino continues with the leg lock as Beefcake doesn’t even sell it….seriously, he adjusts his arm pads and barely looks like he’s in pain. Beefcake gets a thumb to the eye and hits a backdrop before hitting a series of forearms to the sternum. Beefcake hits a scoop slam and goes back on offense with elbows in the corner. Beefcake hits a hard irish whip into the corner, poses, then hits a series of knees to the mid-section. Bruno gets the crowd to chant for David as Beefcake runs straight into a back body-drop. Sammartino rallies with clubbing right hands and jabs before hitting a weak looking boot to the mid-section. David hits a big knee to the head and a snap suplex then covers for 1…2..negative. Beefcake throws David out of the ring where Valiant pounces and slams him on the concrete floor…causing the old man to toss Valiant in the ring for an ass kicking. Bruno waffles Johnny with a series of forearms before Beefcake pounds away to stop the momentum. David comes over and all 4 men go at it as the ref calls for the bell before the Sammartino’s clean house. The crowd erupts but then boos when Finkel announces the match is a draw. The first and last appearance of David Sammartino on any major WWF event as Beefcake was just getting started.

Time of match: 11:40

Winner: No one…double DQ

Back to Alfred Hays who shills the upcoming IC title match before sending it over to Gene Okerlund for the pre-match interviews. Valentine says he’s the master of the figure four and he’s gonna hammer JYD before Dog comes in and says he’s going to get his hands on Jimmy Hart. Back to ringside with Gorilla and Jesse.

Match 5

Junkyard Dog vs Greg “The Hammer” Valentine (with Jimmy Hart) for the WWF Intercontinental Championship

JYD, one of the most popular black athletes in wrestling history gets a title shot here. JYD had come over from Mid-South wrestling (damn near crippling the promotion as he was the top star) for this one. Valentine enters first as Another One Bites The Dust hits and JYD enters. I should point out JYD is the first person to use entrance music as everyone else to this point didn’t have any. They fake hitting each other as JYD jukes and jives to the crowd’s delight before hitting an arm twister. Valentine whips JYD off but Dog catches the foot then catches Greg with a right hand. Valentine hits a knee and an elbow but misses a forearm so JYD hits his trademark headbutts on the ground before the camera pans to the Garden crowd. Monsoon says Hart is now the manager of Jim Niedhart, Bundy and Valentine before Valentine goes back on offense. Greg hits a forearm to the back of the neck and an elbow drop to the mid-section before going over the right leg of JYD. Valentine goes for a half-crab and stretches the knee as the crowd begins to roar for JYD. Valentine hits a headbutt to the midsection but JYD counters the figure four attempt and sells the injury well. Valentine works him over in the corner before Dog rallies with right hands and headbutts as Valentine does the flop. Jimmy Hart gets on the apron and Dog grabs him but moves out of the way causing Valentine
to hammer Jimmy to the floor. Dog backs Valentine in the corner with forearm and a headbutt before Valentine rake the eyes and scoops the legs with his feet on the rope for 1…2…3 and Valentine wins it. All of a sudden Tito Santana hits the ring and tells the ref Valentine had his foot on the rope. All of a sudden the ref calls for the match to continue making him the smartest ref in the history of wrestling up to this point, but Valentine wants no part of it and stays out of the ring. Dog wins by count-out but the title does not change hands on a count-out so The Hammer is still the champ. Santana and Dog taunt Valentine in the ring as Greg teases getting in to fight them before walks to the back. That was supposed to be a 1 hour time limit and it didn’t even go 7 minutes…..the next 4 matches better be long because this is crash style so far.

Time of match: 6:53

Winner:  Junkyard Dog by count-out (Valentine retains the title)

Back to Hays who shills the upcoming tag team title match before sending it over to Okerlund for the pre-match interviews. Sheik says down with America while my favorite manager of all time Blassie says we’re looking at the next champions. Gene “Ok commie…er comrade” Volkoff “I came, I saw, I conquer” Albano walks in with a beer in his hand and says the Express is gonna win, now THAT’S confidence.

Match 6

The Un-Americanz (Nikolai Volkoff and Iron Sheik) with Freddie Blassie vs The US Express (Barry Windham and Mike Rotundo) with Captain Lou Albano for the WWF Tag Team Championship

The men who would become IRS and The Stalker (father and uncle of a Wyatt family member too) take on Sheik and Volkoff here. The Express had beaten the North/South Connection (Adrian Adonis and Dick Murdoch) for the belts two months prior. Before the match Nikolai does his pre-match ritual by singing the Soviet National Anthem as the Garden crowd heaves garbage in the ring. Sheik “RUSSIA NUMBA VUN….IRAN NUMBA VUN…AMERICA HACK PATOIE!” Born in the USA by Bruce “The Boss” Springstein hits and the Express make their entrance. With 3 out of the 4 wrestlers in their prime, this could be the sleeper that Borne/Steamboat wasn’t. Rotundo starts off with Sheik as Ventura says you’ll see bad world series and superbowls but not Wrestlemania….yah wait until Wrestlemania 11. Rotundo hits an armdrag, dropkick, a scoop slam and a headlock takedown as Ventura shills. Windham makes the tag and hits an elbow from off the top rope then hits a boot to the mid-section. Sheik backs Barry back in the corner and Volkoff holds, but Windham escapes and Sheik dropicks Volkoff instead. Volkoff tags in and the camera shows an instant replay of the dropkick before going back to live action where Rotundo hits a back elbow smash. IRS…er Mike locks in an arm-bar then tags in Windham who once again comes off the top onto the elbow. Rotundo follows with the same elbow drop before Nikolai takes over and rams Rotundo’s head into Sheik’s legendary loaded boot. Sheik backdrops Rotundo and hits an elbow drop for 1…2…nope, near fall. Iron Sheik executes a gut-wrench suplex and covers for a deuce before Rotundo blocks a snap suplex and hits one of his own. Nikolai tags in and drops him throat first on the top rope as Blassie shouts “Kick em!” Rotundo switches out of a hammerlock as the crowd gets a USA chant going. Mike hits a sunset flip for 1..2…noooo, Volkoff quickly gets up and puts the boots to him. Volkoff hits a knee to the mid-section and boots before ramming Mike’s head once again into Sheik’s boot. The heels double team Rotundo before Sheik applies an abdominal stretch as the camera pans to Blassie and Albano trading invectives. Rotundo escapes and Volkoff tags in but Mike finally makes it to Windham, who fires away at Nikolai with fists and a dropkick. Windham hits the bulldog and covers for 1..2…nope, Sheik cuts him off. Rotundo gets in and dropkicks Sheik to the floor but Blassie sneaks the cane into Sheik’s hands. The ref is distracted by Rotundo as Sheik breaks the cane over the back of Windham who crumbles to the floor. Nikolai rolls him over and covers for 1….2…3 and we got new tag team champions. Iron Sheik becomes the first superstar since Bob Backlund to be both World champion and Tag champion in their careers. I should point out the Express left the company not long after this and Windham wouldn’t compete in another Wrestlemania for 12 more years while Rotundo resurfaced 7 years later as I.R.S.

Time of match: 6:51

Winners: The Un-Americanz by pinfall (New Tag Team Champions)

Mean Gene interviews the new champs and scoffs at Blassie for using the cane. Freddie “Cane? What cane? I didn’t have no cane!” Sheik says Gene Mean and spits at the US again as Okerlund sends it back to Monsoon and Ventura who goes over what we just saw. Back to Alfred Hays who shills the upcoming $15,000 slam match who sends it back to Okerlund for the pre-match interviews. Studd and Heenan enter with the duffel bag of money and its funny to see Okerlund try to stick his hand in as Heenan swats it away. Heenan “There’s only 2 people that are gonna see this money, me and Studd….make it 3, the teller at the bank when we deposit the money.” The next segment is shilling Wrestlemania merchandise which makes no sense because the announcer dude says “pick it up in the corridors” which is an insinuation people watching this commercial is at the Garden? Whatever….on to the match.

Match 7

Andre the Giant vs Big John Studd (with Bobby Heenan) in a $15,000 Slam Match

Ok, the rules are simple…..if Andre bodyslams Studd he wins 15 grand but if Studd slams Andre then say goodbye to the Giant. Studd attacks Andre in the corner as the bell rings before Andre rallies with chop and a big headbutt. Andre boots Studd to the outside of the ring and John regroups with Heenan, back inside Andre taunts Studd until backing him into the corner. Andre chokes Studd in the corner and Ventura asks where the ref is, but this isn’t a standard wrestling match so there are no DQ’s to speak of. Andre hits a knee to the head and big hamhock to the head before executing avalanches in the corner. Studd goes for a bodyslam but Andre blocks it then chops away at Studd before hitting a bearhug. The fants chats for Andre to slam as Ventura says “25,000 strong chanting”…..thought the building only held about 17,000 but nevertheless it is a sell out. The bearhug spot is worked for 2 full minutes before letting go and hitting a forearm to the back as Ventura says this could be the last time we could be seeing Andre. Andre hits a headlock and hits another hamhock to the mid-section as the crowd erupts. Andre whips Studd off and catches the foot, then hits another right hand to the face. Andre blocks a back elbow smash before chopping John in the corner. Andre kicks away at Studd’s leg and I’ll let Monsoon handle this one. “Andre now going to work on the leg, LOOK AT THIS…ANDRE PICKS EM UP…HE SLAMMED HIM!!!” This one’s over and Andre wins the match as the crowd erupts again as Finkel hands Andre the bag of money. Andre begins throwing money into the crowd before Heenan sneaks up, steals the bag then runs to the back with Studd. Ventura “They don’t call him The Brain for nothin Gino!” Andre poses in the ring and his career will resume….for a few more years anyway. I look at this match not for the catch-as-catch-can but for the drama and the storyline because in 1985, 15 grand or retire was a big deal so this match certainly was legendary. Screw the ROH smarks and spotfest lovers.

Time of match: 5:52

Winner: Andre the Giant

Back to Okerlund who interviews Andre who says in his booming voice that he doesn’t care about the money and tries cutting a promo but is cut off as we send it back to Monsoon and Ventura. The man just saved his career, let him speak dammit! We send it back to Alfred Hays who tries to shill the upcoming women’s match but is cut off by Moolah who kisses him on the lips. Alfred “Good gracious!” then Leilani kisses him before he finally sends it to Mean Gene. Okerlund interviews Lauper and Richter then Cyndi in her thick Brooklyn accent she’s gonna get her hands on Moolah. Richter says she’s gonna get her belt back as the camera cuts off allowing Moolah and Leilani to enter….why couldn’t they have done that all night to make it look like they weren’t standing next to each other. Moolah is wearing flamboyant glasses and Okerlund says don’t tell Ventura about them so he doesn’t get any ideas. Back to ringside for the match…..
Match 8

Wendi Richter (with Cyndi Lauper and David Wolfe) vs Leilani Kai (with Fabulous Moolah) for the WWF Womens Championship

Ironically this match was more hyped up than the previous 7 (Andre included) because of the involvement of Lauper on MTV. Richter had originally dethroned Moolah and Moolah trained Leilani to get the belt back, which she did. Richter, Wolfe and Lauper come running out to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun as the crowd goes crazy for the trio. Cyndi gets in Leilani’s face before the bell and Kai motions that she’s crazy, haha good one. I don’t know whether it was because I was a weird kid or not but when I first saw this match I thought Leilani was much more gorgeous than Wendi but Richter was the better wrestler. Monsoon says Cyndi stole her outfit out of Ventura’s dresser as we get underway with the big title match. They tie up and roll around the ropes before Leilani backs Wendi in the corner. Wendi punches Leilani halfway across the ring then hits an armdrag but Leilani nips Richter off her. Kai hits an armdrag but Wendi turns it into a hammerlock before THROWING her in hammerlock position a good 3 feet in the air, how Leilani didn’t tear a shoulder in the process I don’t know. Leilani reaches back and hits a series of snapmares as Cyndi shouts encouragement for Wendi. Leilani goes back to old school holds, a tribute to Moolah I’m sure.  They trade blows in the ring before Leilani grabs Wendi by the hair and throws her into the corner, then hits a snapmare before choking her down. Wendi applies a body scissors from sex position and Leilani shows how strong she is by pulling her all the way to her feet but Wendi hits a forearm to the chest. They appear to go for the same gut-wrench suplex but Wendi being taller falls forward into a lateral press for 1…2….nope. Leilani holds on to the hair then snapmares her over as Ventura speculates what its like to be on the receiving end of something like that. Kai throws Richter in the corner but a charge eats double boot then Wendi covers for a near fall. Leilani distracts the ref so Moolah chokes Wendi on the bottom rope before Cyndi runs over to save the day. Leilani whips Wendi off and hits a boot to the mid-section but Wendi rallies with a forearm and a New Delhi Devastator (and this is 1985 no less). Wendi splashes on top for 1….2..nope, near fall. Wendi whips Leilani into the corner where she goes for a splash but Kai gets the knees up in time. Leilani puts the boots to Wendi and hits a backbreaker for 1….2..NOOOO, that was close. Leilani hits a scoop slam then goes upstairs and hits a flying crossbody, but then Wendi rolls through it for 1….2……3 and we got a new WWF Women’s champion! Cyndi runs around and strangles Moolah with the towel before she trips getting into the ring. A funny spot that I find funny is Cyndi tries to pick up Wendi but can’t and Wendi picks up Cyndi effortlessly. They then do a dose-do dance as Girls Just Wanna Have Fun once again blares to the Madison Square Garden crowd.  Monsoon goes to the replay of the finish and speculates when Leilani came off the top she hit her head on the canvas allowing Wendi to roll on top……good explanation but anyways we got a new champion. I should point out this would be the last Women’s title change at a Wrestlemania for 16 years.

Time of match: 6:13

Winner: Wendi Richter by pinfall (New Women’s champion)

We go back to Mean Gene in the locker-room who interviews the new champ, where she says she beat “Leilani Cow”. Captain Lou makes his way into the picture as Gene asks “Did Moolah get in your way Cyndi?” Wendi “Are you crazy??” Cyndi “Yeah she’s bigger than me but I took care of her” before sending it to Howard Finkel in the ring. Fink turns things over to New York Yankees manager Billy Martin who is the special guest ring announcer. He gets a standing O from the crowd which is weird considering how many times he’s been hired and fired as manager. He then introduces Liberace as the special guest time-keeper (who dances a jig with the Rockettes in the ring) Billy then introduces the special guest referee Pat Patterson and special guest enforcer former world heavyweight boxing champion Muhammad Ali. Jose Torrez the former light-heavyweight champion leads Ali to the ring as the crowd gives a much deserved applause for the duo. Now its time for the main event……
Match 9

“Mr Wonderful” Paul Orndorff and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper (with Bob Orton) vs Mr T and Hulk Hogan (with Jimmy Snuka)

A Bagpipe band makes their way to the ring signaling the arrival of wrestling’s number one heel ROWDY…..RODDY….PIPER!!  The Rowdy one makes his entrance with Mr Wonderful and “Ace” Bob Orton. Not to nitpick, but couldn’t this have been a six man tag match since Snuka was equally as loved in the Garden as Hogan and Orton was Piper’s bodyguard…ah well, no use squawking about it now. Mr. T, Snuka and Hogan make their entrance to Eye of the Tiger as the Garden crowd goes nuts. They take FOREVER to start before Liberace stands and rings his custom made bell to start the main event. Hogan and Orndorff start and its well documented these 2 have not liked each other for a long time because of their childhood in Tampa where their high schools were football rivals or something to that extent. Orndorff teases going at it before tagging Piper in. Mr T hops up and down saying let me have him so Hogan tags him in. Piper made it clear on his DVD compilation he never liked Mr. T so this feud was more personal than it was business. Piper hated Mr T, Orndorff and Hogan hated each other so this maybe an out and out shoot by the end. Piper and T staredown nose to nose before they exchange slaps to the face before hitting a go-behind takedown. T tries to sit-out/turn in but Piper maintains the ride. Mr T finally switches out of it as Orndorff fires up Piper in their corner. Mr T puts Piper into a fireman’s carry then drops him like yesterday’s newspaper (Monsoon’s words not mine). Piper backs T into his corner where Orndorff gets in then a melee ensues when all 4 men brawl into the corner. Muhammad Ali and Bob Orton get in the ring as Snuka goes upstairs. Ali throws a punch that sends Piper out of the ring then takes a swing at Orton who retreats to the ground. The heels regroup outside as the camera shows Billy Martin laughing his ass off at the proceedings. Piper motions that they’re outta here as Monsoon scoffs and the heels actually leave the area. Patterson counts up to 8 before Hogan stops him and motions for them to come back and the heels in fact do walk back to ringside. Piper and Paul get in the ring to attack Mr T and Hogan but the faces clean house. They hit a double noggin knocker on the heels before Hogan clotheslines Roddy in the corner. Hulk hits a knoggin knocker on Piper and Orndorff before hitting an atomic drop on the rowdy one. Piper and Hogan trade blows before Hulk makes the tag to Mr T then they hit a double clotheslines. T hits a scoop slam on Piper and an arm-drag on an interfering Orndorff. T hits another slam on Piper and headbutts Orndorff before ramming Piper’s head into Hogan’s knee. Make no mistake about it, in terms of physical condition Mr T has the physique that is better than half the WWF roster so had he went into wrestling, he couldn’t have been any worse than anybody the AWA put out in the late 80’s. Hogan rakes the eyes and big boots Piper over the top rope to the floor. Mr Wonderful interferes and clotheslines Hogan out of the ring so Piper grabs a chair and waffles the Hulkster with it. Muhammad Ali chases Piper back in the ring but Orndorff sneaks out and throws Hogan into the ring. Piper puts the boots to Hogan as Orndorff sneaks in a cheap shot of his own. Mr T interferes so Piper and Orndorff double team the Hulkster. Piper and Orndorff execute a double atomic drop on Hogan as Muhammad Ali gets in the ring to chase Piper out. Fans may not be pleased with Ali’s constant interference but from a kayfabe standpoint he’s supposed to be the enforcer and that’s exactly what he’s doing. Patterson has to beg Ali to get out as Orndorff works over Hulk. Orndorff hits a snap suplex as Ventura says he’s the x-factor of this match being the most technically gifted of all 4 men involved…..well 6 including Snuka and Orton outside. Piper tags in and hits windup punches then a knee lift for 1…2..nope, Hogan kicks out. Piper holds Hogan as Paul tags in and hits a forearm to the back of the neck…..One of the unwritten laws of wrestling is not to hit moves on the back of the neck because you’re more prone to actual injuries, but Orndorff would ROUTINELY do this to Hogan in their matches, pissing off the Hulkster legitimately in the process. Paul covers for a near-fall before hitting a nice backbreaker before going upstairs. Orndorff goes for another forearm off the top but misses, before Hogan makes the hot tag to Mr T. T cleans house before Orndorff is able to take him down. Mr T and Orndorff go high school style as Mr T goes for a roll but Paul wizzers to make sure that doesn’t happen. Piper makes the tag then hits a front headlock on B.A. Barabus before T tags Hogan in.  Both heels interfere so Hogan hits a double noggin knocker on them then headlock punches Orndorff until Wonderful counters with a back suplex. Piper interferes but Patterson cuts him off so both Jimmy Snuka and Cowboy Bob get in the ring. Snuka hits a jumping headbutt that sends Orton over the top to the apron. Patterson is distracted by Snuka as Orndorff puts Hogan in a full nelson. Piper and Mr. T go at it as Patterson turns his attention to him as Orton goes upstairs. Orton comes off the top but Hogan moves and Ace catches Orndorff in the back of the head with the cast. Hogan covers as Snuka roughs up Orton and Patterson gets in position..1……2…..3….its overrrrrrrr!!!!  The ring becomes chaos as everyone gets in the ring before Piper knocks out Patterson, spits at Orndorff and takes off with Orton in tow. Back inside Mr T tends to Orndoff as Billy Martin announce Hogan and Mr T the winner. Orndorff springs to life as Snuka, T, Patterson and Hogan back off. The faces celebrate in the ring as Orndorff doesn’t have a clue what happened before heading to the locker-room. Hogan, Mr. T, Muhammad Ali, Pat Patterson, Snuka, Liberace and Billy Martin all pose and celebrate in the ring. Monsoon and Ventura go to the instant replay before sending it back to Mean Gene to interview the winners. Mr T says he trained hard,as Hogan shills Snuka and T before Superfly does the same thing.  Back to Monsoon and Ventura who sign off and thanks the fans for tuning in.

Time of match: 13:21
Winners: Mr T and Hulk Hogan by pinfall

From an in ring standpoint this was on par with a lot of WWF action from 1985 and historically it did great numbers on closed circuit television. WWF was taking over the country and this would be the greatest year in wrestling (until 1998) for the AWA had their second wind after losing virtually their entire roster to McMahon, the NWA was awesome with the Horsemen against Rhodes and Magnum and of course WWF’s Rock n Wrestling was a big seller. This was more of a modern day crash event with only 2 matches going over 10 minutes but that’s basically how long WWF stars could go and still be entertaining. If you’re looking for an in-ring classic ppv like Great American Bash 96 don’t bother, but if you want a drama filled time capsule of fun then definitely get your hands on this priceless classic. Seriously, whoever was old enough to remember what wrestling was like during this time period can agree that this was ground breaking. The next tape after this in terms of Coliseum Video releases is WWF’s MOST UNUSUAL MATCHES. As for this one, 4 stars out of 5 for the significance and a point off for the crash style. Some of them deserved to be longer.

Bloopers, Bleeps and Bodyslams (WF001)

WWF’s Bloopers, Bleeps and Bodyslams (WF001)

The one that started it all. Today there are nearly 700 tapes and DVD’s put out by WWF/E home video with material dating as far back as the 1960’s. Back in the 80’s VCR’s were sweeping the nation and Vince McMahon made the genius decision to capitalize on them by releasing a line of home videos, something new in wrestling. In 1985, he would release his product on both Betamax (think 8 tracks but for tapes) and VHS. The very first one was titled Bloopers, Bleeps and Bodyslams and it was more or less a compilation tape of all the silly stuff that the WWF was capable of. I am unsure of the actual release date but since most of the action is from 1984 and earlier plus the tape was released before the first Wrestlemania, I’d venture a guess to say early 1985. Before I continue, that seems pretty ballsy doesn’t it? You need to hit a home run in order for fans to continue to purchase your product, then instead of presenting blow away matches/hot feuds, you begin with TNT (Tuesday Night Titans) skits and goofy moments? Anyway let’s get to it. The tape opens with a really cool intro video that comprises of the history of coliseum wrestling (the Roman one that is) before showing highlights of modern day WWF action set to a cool brass (trumpets and trombones for non music fans reading this) theme.

Gorilla Monsoon welcomes us and shills the upcoming action. He even pokes fun at himself as they show an outtake of his opening speech plus play it backwards. Then we get a short clip where on Piper’s Pit, Roddy Piper asks to compare hands with Andre the Giant. Andre says sure and slaps him upside the head. Cut to a short clip of a 10 men tag match at the Philadelphia Spectrum where one team consists of Jimmy Snuka (in the ring), Andre, Rocky Johnson, Pedro Morales and Salvatore Bellomo against Don Muraco (in the ring), “Superstar” Billy Graham, “Playboy” Buddy Rose, Ray “Crippler” Stevens and Mr. Fuji. Snuka goes to town on Muraco before tagging in Morales, Morales floors Don with a forearm to the chest and revs up the crowd before tagging in Andre. Andre shoots Muraco in the ropes then delivers a big boot that sends Don over the top rope to the floor. Stevens and Rose come over to help him back in and once inside, Muraco locks in a headlock on the giant who gets sent off the ropes and runs into the huge posterior of Andre. Muraco sells it like he took a cannon shot to the ribs. Muraco staggers to his corner and puts his hand up, Rose refuses to tag in but Stevens reluctantly does. Even though this is a short segment, its always nice to see the original “crippler” in Stevens on a WWF tape no less. He made his name in the 70’s with the AWA as half of a great tag team with Nick Bockwinkel managed by a young Bobby Heenan. Turns out the segment ends right there,

We cut to one of my favorite segments of all-time, love advice from “Classy” Freddie Blassie on Tuesday Night Titans. Before I go any further let me explain what Tuesday Night Titans was. Most wrestling shows from that era, especially the territorial ones were one sided squash matches with an occasional main event tossed in there while hyping up some house show that was coming up that Friday or whatever. Vince thought that kind of shit put fans to sleep and decided to come up with something new. Basically he completely ripped off Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show by having himself in the Carson chair with Alfred Hays playing the role of Ed McMahon (no relation to Vince). Instead of presenting wrestling matches, the show featured WWF stars doing interviews, performing in skits and doing off the wall things not seen in wrestling before. Sure it was hokey and silly but it was also revolutionary because it added to the characters of all those involved, good or bad. As Ric Flair once said, Vince couldn’t match the NWA talent for talent so he had to match with larger than life characters such as Hulk Hogan, George “The Animal” Steele and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper. Back to the segment, Blassie admitted in his book he and Vince Jr used to ride together because they had a lot in common including love of fast cars and loud outfits. Here Vince is in a nice suit while Blassie is in his usual lavish pink suit. Vince “Freddie you’ve always been willing to help individuals with problems.” Freddie “A lot of pencil neck geeks around here have a lot of problems, I’ll guarantee you that.” The first letter comes from a woman who claims her husband pays no attention to her until after TNT is over (nice plug). Freddie “He doesn’t pay attention to her huh? Has the woman tried taking a bath? Has she used under arm deodorant? Has she shaved her armpits, her legs? Ya goofy broad that’s what ya gotta do!” Vince tries to say the problem is TNT and Freddie counters “Maybe the sheets are dirty.” Next question has a woman that complains that her husband is performing moves on her after watching WWF. Do Not Try This At Home didn’t debut for over a decade so fans had carte blanche to do what they wanted back then. Vince “His superfly Snuka leap off the top of the dresser is too much.” At this point Freddie, Vince and the cameraman all break character briefly to laugh at the hilariousness of that statement. “What about practicing holds on her, Mr. Blassie?” Freddie “Oh yeah, my second wife I used to practice strangleholds on her all the time.” Vince starts laughing for real. Freddie “Some of these broads need to be kicked around.” He spits on the floor as Vince tries to go back in babyface announcer mode “Mr Blassie please.” Freddie “Ya know I used to write a column for Hollywood News Gazette! I taught that dear Aby (he says A-Bee) and Ann Flanders! Don’t ya know anything?” Next letter Vince laughs as he reads a 60 year old woman has limited experience with men but has nice legs, a firm waist and a burning desire to date a wrestler. Vince asks Freddie if he has any suggestions on who to date buts cuts him off saying she’s 60. Freddie was no stranger to women at his advancing age so he says age doesn’t matter. Vince asks him if he has any wrestlers in mind willing to date a 60 year old and Blassie lists Sgt Slaughter, Tito Santana, Hulk Hogan and Tonga Kid. Vince scoffs saying Tonga Kid is only 18 years old and Blassie’s response “Good, he’s got a lot of life in him. It’ll be good for the old lady!” The camera man starts laughing again as the segment ends right there. I could watch those two in that capacity all day but its time to move on.

Monsoon rejoins us for a vanity segment, huh? Monsoon talks about hair loss and how it affects wrestlers. We cut to a squash match where “Iron” Mike Sharpe (with Lou Albano outside) beats on jobber Steve Grey. Sharpe grabs Grey by the hair and rams his head on the buckle which such force, Grey’s hair falls off. He was wearing a toupee inside the ring, smart huh? Sharpe throws Grey to the outside and taunts him with his own hairpiece as the segment ends there before Captain Lou has a chance to pound on the poor, bald jobber.

Next we go to a TNT segment where Freddie Blassie tries to hype up Tiger Chung Lee as a badass by having him break breaks with karate chops. Only problem is Lee can’t break anything. Vince turns his back and laughs as even Blassie tries to save face by uttering gibberish (he claimed in his book that back then managers had to at least pretend they knew the language of their wrestler) as Lee continues to struggle to break the bricks. Monsoon claims he bought the bricks himself and had them loaded with steel but the fact was Lee was exposed as a fraud on national television. No wonder he didn’t last.

Next up is Captain Lou Albano. Monsoon refers to him as the greatest walking advertisement for birth control. We go to a segment on TNT where Vince is wearing a piss-yellow suit while Lou rants and raves in his Hawaiian shirt. Lou claims he’s got an IQ of 901.73. At this point I realize if I quote everything this review will take forever so from here on I’ll quote only the funniest while giving a brief synopsis of the segments.

We go to a posedown held in what looks to be a lounge between Paul Orndorff and Tony Atlas. Vince is your MC wearing a red suit sitting at a table with Renee Goulet who is sipping a cocktail and looking bored. Atlas poses first to the Coliseum Video theme before Orndorff comes out and poses to the same theme. Both have killer physiques but Atlas gets the duke due to being a babyface. Paul protests then clobbers Atlas in the back, sending him crashing into what appears to be The Spoiler’s table. A tall guy in a mask tries to break apart Orndorff and Atlas and just for namesake I’ll call him The Spoiler. Spoiler and Vince lead Orndorff out the side door while Atlas stands there flustered.

Monsoon says life on the road can be lonely and sends us to Iron Sheik’s haram party on TNT with Vince hosting in the gray suit. Sheik stands by an actual live camel wearing his actual 1971 AAU wrestling champion medal he won in the 180 pound division as well as his turban and loud shirt. The one hilarious quote is he claims the camel is better looking than Sgt Slaughter. Alfred Hays is brought in to analyze the animal as Sheik continues to run down Slaughter. Vince makes a goof and both he and Sheik laugh at Vince’s expense before Sheik continues to rant. Vince asks Sheik what the camels name is and at first he speaks a long name in farci. Vince asks for the translation and Sheik answers “Claude”. All 3 men share a laugh which makes me laugh because Sheik’s supposed to be a heel yet everyone’s having fun here. Vince notices Alfred standing by the camel’s ass and asks if there’s any action back there. To save time I’ll skip the rest and move on.

Monsoon blows the ending of the next segment which has Freddie Blassie, Friday (the original Kim Chee) and a dancing chicken on TNT, yes of course I’m serious. Vince is wearing the beige suit as Blassie is in his blue sequined suit. The camera pans to the chicken just as it takes a shit, which adds to the hilarity. Vince notices and lets Blassie know. Kamala comes out to check out the chicken as Vince asks what’s going on. Freddie announces that the chicken will perform a disappearing act as Kamala will eat him alive, causing Vince to protest. Kamala goes after the chicken and the camera cuts away only to return to Kamala eating an obviously cooked chicken. I’m sure Vince used the camera cut to get the real chicken out of there before PETA showed up.

Monsoon cuts to an actual wrestling match for once….only its midgets. The Haiti Kid takes on Danny Carpenter in a hilarious midget match. I say it’s hilarious because back then it was legitimately funny before the antics became redundant in the following 10 years.

Ivan Putski teaches women and Vince (wearing a gray plaid overcoat and blue pants) how to polka. Vince may or may not be dancing with Linda, it kind of looks like her but I’m not sure. Either way they’re all having a merry ol time with a legitimate polka band performing in the back. The Crusher and Dick The Bruiser should be there but they’re in the AWA and couldn’t make it.

WWF champion Hulk Hogan finally makes his (and shockingly only) appearance on the August 24, 1984 edition of Tuesday Night Titans making protein shakes for Vince and Alfred to try. Vince tries it and he likes it but when “Awful” Alfred tries it, he promptly throws up. Next!

Back to TNT where it’s Captain Lou’s turn to give love advice. The first letter says her husband is from the old world and doesn’t wear deodorant, which stinks her out. Lou says that’s fine and what she has to do is mix rubbing alcohol, olive oil, witch hazel and shaving lotion then rub it on him to get rid of the stench. Lou says he doesn’t wear deodorant because he doesn’t smell then laughs at himself. Heh, couldn’t even keep a straight face on that one. If you notice a pattern developing is that nobody is taking any of this shit seriously. Heels and faces alike are laughing at themselves and even Vince is laughing along with them rather than at them. The next letter says her husband is too fat and Albano says he can’t stand fat people. Vince asks what he classifies himself as and Lou claims he’s not fat, its an optical illusion. Lou then rants about fat people which I can’t type out to give the rant true justice, have to see it to appreciate it. The next letter says her husband never takes her cowboy boots off and Lou says he’s going to give the Aerosol companies a lot of business.

Cut to Afa and Sika, former 3 time WWF tag team champions The Wild Samoans who’s cooking up quite a feast for Vince and Alfred. Alfred compares the odor of the cooking to the bubonic plague. Vince asks what’s cookin’ and the Samoans answer in their native tongue. They then bring out a huge mackerel, analyze it then put it in the cooking pot. Alfred comes over and is grossed out as they dissect a squid or something. Vince asks the Samoans to offer a sample to Alfred who reluctantly takes a bite. His facial expression says it all. Back on the set, Afa and Sika enjoy their meal as Alfred and Vince wonder what exactly they are eating. Vince orders Alfred to get the recipe for the home viewers later.

Monsoon shills the next segment as the most hilarious blooper. The famous WWF tag team championship match between “Soulman” Rocky Johnson and “Mr USA” Tony Atlas vs The Wild Samoans on November 15, 1983. Finally some wrestling. To keep this review short the blooper is the ref takes a bump which has Lou Albano interfering with a wooden chair. He goes to clock Atlas with it but Tony moves and Afa takes the chair to the head, which gets stuck on him as he falls backward. Atlas makes the cover as the ref revives and Johnson/Atlas are your new champions. Watching in a New York bar that night was an 18 year old college freshman named Mick Foley. Also watching was Rocky Johnson’s 11 year old son Dwayne. Wonder what became of Mick and Dwayne…. Anyway, we go to another TNT segment where Vince questions Lou about what went down during the tag match. Albano blames the Samoans and not himself for costing them the match, ha.

Salvatore Bellomo makes an appearance on TNT to cook pizza for Vince and Alfred. Again, Salvatore was a bonafide jobber to the heels in his WWF career but he was featured on these shows to at least attempt to get him over. This was the one thing the AWA and NWA lacked because their mid-carders were told to keep their mouths shut and do what they were told while WWF guys were told to do whatever the heck they wanted in order to get over and draw money. Anyway Bellomo, Vince and Alfred don ridiculous chefs hats as Salvatore prepares the pizza. Vince “There’s a bit of powder on your nose Alfred, not the first time I’ve seen THAT.” Holy shit that was cutting edge and this was 1984!

Now we go to former tag team champions Adrian Adonis and Dick Murdoch on a road trip for the September 25, 1984 Tuesday Night Titans. This was an interesting combination as Dick was the redneck rebel from Texas while Adonis was the New York street thug. They visit the Texas ranches first with Adonis attempting to get on a horse only to fall off. Then “Mean” Gene Okerlund joins Adonis (wearing a Nike t-shirt) and Murdoch as they walk the streets of New York City. Adrian runs into “old friends” hanging out before showing an open fire hydrant and saying that’s his old shower. A mangy red dog shows up and Adonis plays with it as Dick marvels at the city. The trio stops by a hot dog stand where lunch is on Adrian. Okerlund asks the vendor what kind of dogs they are and the vendor clearly can’t speak English. Murdoch orders a dog with mustard on it and takes a bite, he liked it apparently. He then shoves it into Adrian’s mouth who mumbles before Okerlund says time to go and he’s not picking up the tab. Cheapskate!

Monsoon then shows us a highlight package which is just the opening montage out of order with a flew other clips thrown in. Least they tried to something a little different.

Now it’s “Luscious” Johnny Valiant’s turn for love advice on TNT. The first letter says that her husband’s physique pales in comparison to WWF wrestlers and she has no idea what to do. Johnny V at first misunderstands the phrase but then says “Quit lookin over your guys shoulder. Quit lookin at the guy cutting the grass or the guy hitchhiking on the turnpike!” Next letter is from a guy who says he put a wrestling mask on his wife during playtime and it made things better. Johnny “Depending on who I was with I woulda done that myself!” The next letter is from a rich, attractive woman who has a fetish for ugly men (who the hell wrote THAT one?) and asks if any WWF superstar matches the criteria. Johnny answers Hulk Hogan and hypes up Brutus Beefcake as the ultimate ladies man. V then rattles off Tito Santana, Junkyard Dog and Sgt Slaughter as uglies and makes the comment “I heard that Slaughter wrote to the lonely hearts club and he got a letter back saying they weren’t THAT lonely”. The next letter is a guy who has a fantasy of being in a 16-20 man battle royal. Johnny asks what kind of health insurance the guy has for wanting to be in such a dangerous environment. He gets cut off as we go back to Monsoon.
Next up is Andre The Giant who cracks a joke comparing “Big” John Studd to Sky Low Low (the midget legend) and then reveals all his clothes are custom made in Japan except his boots which come from Texas. Andre then covers Alfred’s head with his hand to show how massive he is. Andre then sings The Fish Song which he picked up on his last tour in Japan. He’s got a legit reggae band as he pretends to swim like a fish.

Roddy Piper makes his appearance and he’s got Captain Lou with him on Piper’s Pit. Lou marvels at the gold record Girls Just Wanna Have Fun turned into then promises to bring Cindy Lauper on a future episode of the Pit. The scene cuts to Cindy on the set where Lou comes in and takes credit for all her success, which pisses her off. Lou tells her to shut up and says all women are slime. Piper backs up Albano and they both get in her face. Lou calls her a broad and she flips, literally, flipping over the table then attacking Lou and Piper. David Wolff himself runs out to save Cindy. The fact Lou was the one who began the Rock N Wrestling Connection cannot be overstated. For those that don’t know, Albano and Cindy Lauper just happened to be riding on the same plane together and from that, they struck up a friendship. This included Albano making a cameo in Lauper’s famous video Girls Just Wanna Have Fun as her “father”. What this led to was a WWF/MTV crossover that drew A LOT of money. Sure Hogan ruled the wrestling world in 1984 but he didn’t have the proper mainstream appeal until he appeared with the others on MTV in 1985. When MTV aired Brawl To End It All and War To Settle The Score, now WWF were pulling in casual fans as well as wrestling fans. So now with Piper established as MTV and WWF’s number one heel, the first Wrestlemania came to fruition. All this because Captain Lou just happened to be on a plane with Cindy.

Another “bodyslams” montage only they use the orchestral ending theme from the end of the early Coliseum Videos.

Up last was a legendary, lengthy segment where Paul “Butcher” Vachon’s wedding would be televised. The recently departed Maurice “Mad Dog” Vachon was an AWA legend and a certifiable mad man in the business. His younger brother Paul was equally insane and the duo ran roughshod over Canadian and American territories in the 60’s and 70’s. It should be noted that legendary women’s wrestler Luna Vachon is actually Paul’s adopted daughter, not Mad Dog’s. The segment begins with Vince interviewing a fan outside and asking what the woman looks like if she’s going to marry Butcher, the fan points to his dog which makes Vince laugh. Inside the reception is nearly every heel on the roster with Vince and Alfred hosting. I see Afa, Sika, Junior (Afa’s 19 year old son who would eventually become Headshrinker Fatu, The Sultan and Rikishi), George Steele, Fabulous Moolah, Jesse “The Body” Ventura, “Dr D” Dave Schultz, Sky Low Low, Howard Finkel, Freddie Blassie and Lou Albano all enjoying the festivities. We start with the gift opening and the first one is a box of rubber bands graciously donated by Captain Lou. The next give is a pair of glasses donated by Freddie Blassie who runs down Paul saying the ring on her finger was the same one on the first 5 wives he’s had (a lie but a hilarious one). “Why don’t ya buy her some real diamonds ya cheapskate!” Vince looks around for someone to make a toast and he settles on George “The Animal” Steele. Figures, the one guy who couldn’t talk. The heel cheers him on and after working the crowd he shouts “perpendicular!!” as Albano cheers. Vince looks disgusted as Albano grabs the mic and starts ranting and raving. Albano shills his Samoan stable then toasts “Open your teeth, open your gums, lookout stomach here it comes!” Vince goes to interview Howard but Albano comes over again “I got a girl who lives on a hill, she won’t but her sister will!” The Body wants to say a few words “The scum always rises to the top of the water.” Ooooook. Sky Low Low is next. He basically runs down Albano for talking too much and says “What the hell do you want, a toaster?” The French Canadian born Sky Low Low was one of the best midget wrestlers ever with a physique second to none. Most midgets didn’t live past 50 and he was 56 at the time of this wedding to give an idea how good a shape he was in. Albano swears at him in Italian as Low Low fires back in his French much to Sika’s delight. Blassie comes over to antagonize Low Low before things get settled. Vince goes over to “Dr. D” Dave Schultz who is bleeped out while running down everyone in the room. Guess he must have said something more suitable for the Attitude Era. Paul and his wife dance by themselves as Albano continuously burps into the microphone causing Ventura to crack up. Albano then goes over to sing a few bars before removing his shirt much to Vince’s disgust. George kisses Paul much to his dismay. Albano then threatens to moon Vince who tells the camera to cut away. Once action resumes the wife is dancing with Low Low…and pretty good too. Albano counters by dancing with Low Low’s date/gf/wife/whatever then Mad Dog gets on the dance floor with Moolah. The dancing of Albano and the midget lady causes Blassie to crack up laughing. Next, Albano and the Samoans attempt to sing before bringing Low Low to sing with them. Fatu looks to be having a blast as Albano pours what’s left of his beer can down the back of Low Low’s pants. We then cut to the dessert where the wife refuses to eat the customary first piece of cake so a grumpy Dr. D shows up and shoves a pie in her face. Albano then nails Low Low in the head with a pie as Paul laughs at the display of slapstick. A pie fight develops with Alfred getting nailed by Dr D. Schultz nails Vince himself in the face. Vince grabs a pie and nails George Steele with it. A slapstick pie fight envelops with champagne being sprayed as well. Blassie appears to have survived the pies but a sneaky Ventura dumps a can of something on him. That was something else and a lot of fun to watch.

We end the tape with two montages, one of what we just saw and the second being the customary ending orchestral theme. Before we sign off we get a previews for BEST OF THE WWF VOLUME 2, ANDRE THE GIANT and MOST UNUSUAL MATCHES…..guess the first 4 tapes (including this one) were released together and those 3 were released together as well. As for this….wow. What a way to make your debut huh? As a standalone tape I thought it was entertaining. Remember this was the beginning of Vince Jr’s takeover of the wrestling world which added entertainment on top of wrestling. I’ll say this though; most of the skits were fun to watch especially with ¾ of the tape involving the heels. Not only that but Hogan only appeared briefly and he was the world champion. If you’re looking for important, blow away matches then look elsewhere. If you’re looking to have 70 minutes of fun then this one’s for you. I’ll give it 4 out of 5 stars just because it was an outrageous way to make your home video debut. A point off for the simple fact it’s a bloopers tape with little in ring action. The next tape in line is HULKAMANIA so we’ll pick up there.