Wrestling’s Amazing Managers (WF011)

amazing managers

WWF WRESTLING’S AMAZING MANAGERS (WF011)

 

Following BEST OF THE WWF VOLUME 3 comes this unique tape. As I said before World Class Championship Wrestling set the standard by highlighting heels as well as babyfaces. The WWF then beat everyone to the punch by highlighting its managers in this one. Up until the 1990’s managers were just as important as the wrestlers because they could draw heat on themselves and the guys they managed. Managers could be wrestlers that were getting old but could talk (Lou Albano, Freddie Blassie, Bobby Heenan) or they came from outside the business but could talk better than anyone (Jimmy Hart). Back then managers were abundant in territories and promotions but they have all but died off today. It’s a shame because guys like Shelton Benjamin who couldn’t really talk could have used someone like Jimmy Hart or Jim Cornette to get him over. Not everyone needed a manager, they could talk just fine on his own, but the manager gave him that certain x-factor to be hated even more. Mr. Perfect is the…perfect example shall we say. He could cut a promo by himself but put Bobby Heenan with him and the chemistry was great. Of course this is all in hindsight, today we go back to 1985 to look at the managers of the World Wrestling Federation at the time. We begin with the Coliseum Video opening and we are hosted by Bobby “The Brain” Heenan. Unfortunately his sense of humor and style are replaced by him reading off cue cards.  He says we’re going to highlight Captain Lou Albano, Freddie Blassie, Hillbilly Jim, Johnny V, The Grand Wizard, Jimmy Hart, Mr. Fuji, Heenan himself, Fabulous Moolah, Miss Elizabeth and Cyndi Lauper. He references the October/November issue of WWF Magazine (which was bi-monthly at the time) which highlighted the managers. If that issue was already out in the streets that means this tape is definitely between November-December 1985.

 

We begin with Don “The Magnificent” Muraco sunbathing on a beach with 3 bikini clad girls giving him a rubdown. Heenan’s voiceover explains Don trains well until Mr. Fuji and after a highlight of Muraco running through a pagoda, he’s shown back on the beach with his arms around the ladies next to Mr Fuji (in full derby hat and coattails). Muraco says he’s got prettier women, a prettier country (didn’t know Hawaii was its own country) and he’s better looking. Fuji chimes in saying Muraco is the best before we get to our first match.

 

 

Match 1

 

Junkyard Dog and Ricky Steamboat vs Mr Fuji and Don “The Magnificent” Muraco

 

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura

 

 August 17, 1985 in the Capitol Center in Landover, MD was the date for the semi-retired Fuji to step in the ring with his protégé against a makeshift team of two popular stars in the Dog and Steamboat. Dog is in the red tights, Steamboat black, Muraco and Fuji in standard. The heels cut the faces off as soon as they hit the ring. Fuji has Steamboat in one corner and Muraco with Dog in the other. The faces reverse whips and sends Muraco and Fuji into each other. Steamboat pounds on Fuji while still wearing his karate gi. Ricky takes his black belt off and chokes Fuji with it. Finally Monsoon and Ventura can be heard on commentary. Its funny because up to this point in the previous 10 videos, this announce combination had yet to be used. This has the feel of Wrestlemania (they did 1, 3, 4, 5 and 6 together) to it with them on commentary. Dog does his doggie headbutts on the ground to Muraco. Monsoon references Muraco choking out Steamboat with the belt on a previous show. Steamboat then sets his sights on Muraco while Dog stalks Mr. Fuji. Steamboat throws Muraco off the ropes then chokes him with the belt before whipping him with it. Finally referee Dick Woehrle pulls the belt away from Ricky and Steamboat takes his gi off. Monsoon and Ventura ask if the bell ever rang and obviously it didn’t.  Steamboat unloads on Muraco and sends him through the ropes and to the outside. Ricky follows him to the floor and throws him into the ring post. Dog drops Fuji in the ring as Ricky sends Muraco over the steel guardrail with a right hand. Junkyard doggie headbutts Fuji on the ground inside the ring as Steamboat chucks Muraco into the third row. Dog bites Fuji in the ring which causes him to bail to the outside as Steamboat runs into the ring and jumps out of it on the other side to chase Fuji down. Steamboat atomic drops Fuji on the floor as Dog comes over to clock Muraco who had made his way back to ringside. Dog tosses Muraco back inside as Steamboat makes his way to the top rope. Ricky catches Muraco with a flying karate chop then drops another one on him. We get a TAPE EDIT and both Muraco and Steamboat are dazed on the floor. Muraco makes his way over to tag Fuji as Steamboat crawls into the wrong corner. Fuji stuns Steamboat with his own karate chops and a scoop slam. Fuji does a falling headbutt to the gonads and is NOT dq’d for it showing how in the 80’s, anything goes really. Fuji makes the tag to Muraco who drops Steamboat with a clothesline. Muraco throws Ricky into his corner and distracts Woehrle and the Dog long enough for Fuji to choke Steamboat in the corner. Ventura shills the intelligence of Muraco to stand in front of Woehrle so Fuji can go to work. Muraco makes the tag who continues to chop away at Ricky. Fuji goes for the nervehold and we get another TAPE EDIT to Steamboat making the hot tag to JYD while Muraco is in the ring. Dog unloads on Muraco in the corner and drops an intruding Fuji as well.  Dog rams their heads together and decks Muraco with a clothesline. Steamboat cheers from the second rope as Dog covers Muraco for 1….2…no, close but no. JYD executes a Russian leg sweep  but the cover only gets two. JYD drops Muraco twice with shoulderblocks but is nailed from the back by Fuji with a karate kick. Dog crumples to the mat and Muraco drops a series of elbows on him. Muraco senses victory and sends Dog off but eats a boot to the head (yeah yeah) for his trouble. Steamboat gets the hot tag and unloads on Muraco with chops and right hands. Steamboat staggers Muraco into the corner where Fuji gets the blind tag. Steamboat sends Muraco off who ducks under a chop, but Steamboat leapfrogs over him. Fuji reaches into his tights for salt but Steamboat dropkicks Muraco into Fooj and the salt flies everywhere. Steamboat sunset flips Fuji and Woehrle is smart enough to know he’s the legal man…1….2…3 and its over. After the match Fuji and Muraco get Dog tied up in the ropes and they go to work on Steamboat. They both lock in a nerve hold until Dog breaks free, grabs his chain, enters the ring and cleans house. Muraco and Fuji bail as we end it there. Bad match due to the drastic editing and it didn’t highlight Fuji at all, which was supposed to be the point.

 

 

Time of match: Who knows

 

Winners: Ricky Steamboat and Junkyard Dog by pinfall

 

 

Next up is “Luscious” Johnny Valiant. We’re shown an interview on TNT with Vince interviewing Valiant with protégé Brutus Beefcake next to him. Vince asks Johnny why Beefcake chose him and not the other managers around. Johnny cuts a promo saying Beefcake knows talent and has good taste. Vince asks him why Beefcake is so successful and Johnny says the combination of the two. Johnny “Nobody’s going to give him a bum steer while I’m around.” That could be taken the wrong way easily. Anyway let’s see Johnny in the ring.

 

 

Match 2

 

“Luscious” Johnny Valiant vs Steve Lombardi

 

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura

 

  This is actually from the same card as the first one in the Capitol Center on August 17, 1985. Lombardi is now known as Brooklyn Brawler although he’s always been a jobber. Heenan brings up how Johnny and JERRY Valiant won the WWF tag team belts in 1979. I can’t make this up, they brought in veteran John “The Stomper” Hill to become Jerry Valiant to replace “Handsome” Jimmy Valiant after Jimmy contacted hepatitis. Then when Jimmy recovered, they defended the belts as a six man using the Freebird rule until Jerry left the company. Lombardi is in the back trunks while Valiant dons the long black tights. Valiant threatens the crowd  before locking up. A go-behind by Lombardi is countered with a right hand by Valiant. Johnny chokes Lombardi on the second rope, goes outside and grabs a camera cable. He chokes him with it and the ref does absolutely nothing. Back inside Valiant tosses Lombardi through the ropes and to the outside. Valiant moves Monsoon’s tv monitor and rams Lombardi face first into the announce table. Johnny chokes Lombardi on the guard rail and rams his head against it. Ventura says he hasn’t seen Valiant wrestle in a while but he’s glad that Johnny V is the same heel Jesse remembers. Johnny climbs on the apron and kicks Lombardi back into the steel. Johnny brings Lombardi into the crowd and slams him on the concrete floor to a big pop. As Valiant makes his way back to the ring and poses, you would think HE’S the babyface judging by the crowd pop. Valiant gets back in the ring but the referee doesn’t count at all. Lombardi hobbles back to the ring, pulls Valiant underneath the bottom rope and clocks him with a right hand. Lombardi rams Valiant’s head into the steel and chases him back into the crowd then scoop slams him on the concrete. Lombardi runs back to the ring but Dick Woehrle refuses to count out Johnny. Valiant stumbles back to ringside but Lombardi catches him with forearms to the chest. Steve rams Johnny into the buckle then brings him in the hard way. Lombardi rallies with right hands but Valiant reverses a whip and sends Steve into the corner where Johnny clotheslines him down. Johnny drops an elbow and covers for 1..2….3 and its over. After the bell Johnny throws him through the ropes and to the outside as the announcer gets in to announce Valiant has won. Why couldn’t they have done something similar for Fuji instead of showing him jobbing to Steamboat? Oh yeah, he’s asian and Valiant is white.

 

 

Time of match: 4:34

Winner: Johnny Valiant by pinfall

 

 

Let’s go back in time to see a younger, much slimmer Muraco being managed by the flamboyant Grand Wizard of wrestling. Vince McMahon in a blue suit interviews Wizard (who’s wearing pants with one pantleg yellow and the other green) and Muraco at ringside. Muraco is in standard blue trunks with a blue warmup jacket. Wizard says he and Muraco are together as a team. He says it’s the fans honor and privilege to get to see Muraco here. He says that not only is Don the best surfer but also the best wrestler. Wizard sends it to Muraco who calls himself not only an athlete but an artist as well. Muraco says he’s the greatest wrestling machine and he’s given up surfing to be the best wrestler. Muraco cuts a decent promo before sending it back to Wizard. Muraco sheds his ring jacket to show is good physique but it was nowhere near what he would later become. Vince asks why he aligned himself with Wizard and Muraco says he needed someone intelligent. He says he needed Wizard to help him hurt people and to break his opponents. Don gets some heel heat by saying the fans know about suffering since they live in this “dirty area”. Wizard closes by saying that Muraco will take on all comers and we cut here. I didn’t get to describe Wizard much in BIGGEST, SMALLEST, STRANGEST, STRONGEST other than the type of manager he was. His real name was Ernie Roth and he was never a wrestler himself. He was famous for being the mouthpiece of The Sheik (Eddie Farhat, not the Iron) during the territorial era. Eventually he made his way to New York and became one of the “unholy trio” of heel managers along with Captain Lou and Freddie Blassie. There’s a famous picture of the three of them behind a teenager named Paul Heyman, who would become a great heel manager of his own. Unfortunately Wizard died of a heart attack on October 12, 1983 at the age of 57, robbing the world of one of the greatest heel managers ever. After he died, Muraco would then take on Mr Fuji as his manager while Ernie’s other protégé, Sgt Slaughter, would salute his empty corner for a while.

 

Now its Freddie Blassie’s turn. We’re shown The Unamericanz promo at Wrestlemania 1 but Heenan talks over it. Onto the actual match from Wrestlemania.

 

 

Match 3

 

The Un-Americanz (Nikolai Volkoff and Iron Sheik) with Freddie Blassie vs The US Express (Barry Windham and Mike Rotundo) with Captain Lou Albano for the WWF Tag Team Championship

 

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura

 

 This match is clipped for this tape’s purposes. We pick up at the point where Volkoff hits a knee to the mid-section, boots him on the ground and rams Rotundo’s head once again into Sheik’s boot. The heels double team Rotundo before Sheik applies an abdominal stretch as the camera pans to Blassie and Albano trading invectives. Rotundo escapes and Volkoff tags in but Mike finally makes it to Windham, who fires away at Nikolai with fists and a dropkick. Windham hits the bulldog and covers for 1..2…nope, Sheik cuts him off. Rotundo gets in and dropkicks Sheik to the floor but Blassie sneaks the cane into Sheik’s hands. The ref is distracted by Rotundo as Sheik breaks the cane over the back of Windham who crumbles to the floor. Nikolai rolls him over and covers for 1….2…3 and we got new tag team champions. Sheik becomes the first man since Pedro Morales to be World champion and tag team champion. We’re shown the instant replay of the victory and we go to the post-match interview. Mean Gene interviews the new champs and scoffs at Blassie for using the cane. Freddie “Cane? What cane? I didn’t have no cane!” Heenan’s voiceover says “Ahhh Freddie, a little white lie.” before Sheik and Volkoff finish their interview.  I personally would have shown Sheik beating Backlund for the WWF title but I guess it was already seen on video so this match was something new I guess.

 

Time of match: An edited 2:16

Winners: Sheik and Volkoff by pinfall (new Tag Team champion)

 

   We head right on in to the next match.

 

 

Match 4

 

George “The Animal” Steele (with Captain Lou Albano) vs Nikolai Volkoff (with Freddie Blassie)

 

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Alfred Hays

 

   July 13, 1985 in Madison Square Garden saw this unique matchup of the unpredictable Steele against the big Russian. Volkoff sings the Soviet Union anthem and is pelted with garbage until Steele and Albano hit the ring to stop the singing. Steele chases everyone including Howard Finkel out of the ring. Volkoff and Blassie are irate outside the ring as Steele taunts them from inside. Albano calms down Steele and George takes his t-shirt off. Albano exits as the bell dings and we’re under way. Volkoff taunts the crowd and George himself as Steele just looks at him. Steele does the Animal taunt that sends Nikolai bailing for the apron to consult with Blassie. More Animal taunting sends Volkoff  bailing for the apron again. Back inside Blassie distracts George long enough for Nikolai to get a boot to the gut in the corner. Nikoali unloads but Steele rallies with forearms to the back. Steele bites Nikolai on the nose and stuns the Russian. Nikolai recovers and stomps Steele in the corner. A running stomp and a knee drop sends Steele to the mat before Nikolai gets in a few more stomps. Steele nails Volkoff with a sucker punch to the gonads and the ref misses it. Monsoon says it should have been a DQ and Steele then bites open the top turnbuckle, his signature. Alfred “He’s going for his favorite junk food.” Wow, a funny one liner from Alfred. He was actually good in the 80’s commentaries, how’d he get so boring in the 90’s? Steele grabs a handful of stuffings and rakes Volkoff in the face with it. Steele applies a headlock but is distracted by Blassie again allowing Volkoff to nail him with forearms to the back. Albano hops up on the apron to protest which allows Blassie to nail George in the ribs with his cane three times. Nikolai continues to attack Steele inside the ring as Albano confronts Blassie outside of it. Nikolai chokes George in the corner as Blassie nails Albano in the back with the cane. Steele bails to the outside and Blassie nails him with the cane. Steele stalks Blassie by the announce table but Volkoff nails him from behind and sends him into the steel guardrail. Nikolai nails George with forearms while Albano can take no more and rakes Blassie’s eyes. Blassie and Volkoff bail to the back as the bell rings, signaling a double count-out. Steele and Albano give chase as Howard Finkel announces the decision. Some fans wondered why Blassie didn’t take a bump or two and the answer was Blassie was 67 years old with bad knees at the time. Funny how Albano was 50, Steele was 48 and Nikolai was the youngest at 37. Blassie wrote in his book that Albano was like his little brother so it must have been fun to work with him in this one. Bad match but it highlighted the managers so it served its purpose.

 

 

Time of match: 4:17

Winner: No one (Double countout)

 

 

Let’s switch gears to the “Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart. We’re on the set of TNT with Jimmy and his new protégé Greg “The Hammer” Valentine. Valentine was previously managed by Lou Albano until Captain Lou turned face and the heel Valentine went with Jimmy, the new man in town fresh from his tour of the Memphis and Georgia territories. Greg is wearing a leather jacket, jeans, t-shirt, aviators and his IC belt while Jimmy has flamboyant shoes that Vince himself has the camera zoom in on. Valentine brings up Jimmy’s legitimate past with The Gentrys and their number one song “Keep on dancing”. He says Jimmy is REAL rock n roll, not the rock n wrestling that was going on at the time. Valentine says he knows Lou Albano is nothing but a slob and Lou was bringing him down. Vince asks what will happen at Wrestlemania when Valentine meets JYD (this must have been recorded before the first Wrestlemania). Jimmy hypes up Dog and says he’s going to use Another One Bites The Dust as his entrance theme but he and Greg will be playing it at the end after they win. Greg says JYD is the “baddest black athlete” a much more tuned down promo than his more infamous one that’s for sure. Valentine hits himself in the head with the belt to show how tough he is and he can withstand the Dog’s headbutts as Jimmy tries to stop him. Valentine says he’s been champ for 6 months and his win over Tito Santana was no fluke. He calls himself the best champion and not that “chump” Hulk Hogan. He says he and Jimmy will be together for a long, long time. That was no BS, they were together for 5 solid years before Valentine split from Jimmy and still lasted another year without him. Valentine left in 1992 and Hart left in 1993, 7 and 8 years respectively. Paul Heyman was  with Brock Lesnar for 6 months in 2002 and CM Punk for a little under a year between 2012-13, compare that with Hart and Valentine together for 5 years. Anyway, Vince asks Jimmy why Greg is so confident and Jimmy says he’s got Valentine in great shape. He claims Greg was 265 pounds when he was with Lou and now he’s 250 pounds under his tutelage. Vince asks Jimmy if Greg doesn’t win, would he take credit for the loss. Jimmy scoffs and puts his hands over Greg’s ears saying “don’t even talk like that.” Haha! We end as Jimmy and Greg proclaim victory for Wrestlemania.

 

Switching gears again to Cyndi Lauper. The hottest female pop star was managing Wendi Richter for a while and now we’re shown highlights of Richter’s battle with Fabulous Moolah from Brawl To End It All. Its heavily clipped to just 2 minutes and not worth going over again. Basically Richter beats Moolah and she selects Leilani Kai as a protégé to get the title off of Wendi, which she eventually does. Now we go to the Wrestlemania 1 pre-recorded interviews. Okerlund interviews Lauper and Richter then Cyndi in her thick Brooklyn accent she’s gonna get her hands on Moolah. Richter says she’s gonna get her belt back as the camera cuts off allowing Moolah and Leilani to enter. Moolah is wearing flamboyant glasses and Okerlund says don’t tell Ventura about them so he doesn’t get any ideas. Leilani says she’s going to beat Richter by any means necessary. Now we cut to highlights of the women’s match and once again its heavily clipped and not worth repeating blow for blow. Richter pins Leilani to win the women’s title.

 

Switching gears to Bobby Heenan. We’re shown the pre-recorded interview for Wrestlemania…..wow. This whole tape was centered around Wrestlemania before and after it seems. Studd and Heenan enter with the duffel bag of money and its funny to see Okerlund try to stick his hand in as Heenan swats it away. Heenan “There’s only 2 people that are gonna see this money, me and Studd….make it 3, the teller at the bank when we deposit the money.” We’re shown the end of the Wrestlemania match where Andre slams Studd, grabs the bag of money, throws some of it around and watches it get stolen by Heenan. Now we’re going to TNT where Bobby Heenan gives love advice. Remember BLOOPERS, BLEEPS AND BODYSLAMS where Blassie, Albano and Johnny V did it? Now its Bobby’s turn. Bobby is wearing a fresh white suit with a heart for his lapel while Vince looks to be in gray corduroy. Bobby says he doesn’t usually do this as Vince says no one has done it and this is the first time. So Bobby was first huh? The first letter says wrestlers are supposedly great lovers and asks why that is. Bobby says its true and wrestlers are the second best lovers in the world. Vince asks who’s first and Bobby answers the managers. Vince “I should have known that” The next question comes from a 69 year old lady who says her husband doesn’t want her anymore and asks what can she do. Bobby says to hop out of the rocker, rip off the wool shawl she’s wearing, take the bun out of her hear, take the corrective hose off and put on some cologne. Heenan says “You know the cologne ‘evening in Paris’ well hers is probably ‘afternoon in the Bronx’. Bobby says he finds this boring and Vince says these are legitimate questions. Vince says the final letter reads that the woman’s husband has a 6 inch…scar on his face that’s a turnoff. Vince cracks up and can’t complete the letter, even the background camera guys can be heard laughing. Vince composes himself just long enough to finish asking what the wife can do to overcome the 6 incher. Heenan cracks a smile but still remains in character as Vince continues to crack up. Bobby “The way she writes and the way she talks about her husband, she should be thankful her husband has 6 inches of anything. On his face, in the back yard or in the garage.” This causes Vince to crack up again but then composes himself to ask that wrestlers have scars, even Heenan. Bobby answers he’s not after old ladies or this one complaining about looks. Vince asks what she can do and Heenan answers that she can wear blinders or glasses or put a bag over his head. Haha! Vince says we’re through here and we’ll be back with the Iron Sheik next. That could have been the harem party covered in Bloopers but its not shown on this tape. On to the next bout.

 

 

Match 5

 

Andre the Giant vs “Big” John Studd with Bobby “The Brain” Heenan

 

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura

 

  This looks to be the exact same arena as the other matches on this tape but Monsoon says we’re in Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto, Canada to see the giants battle it out. We’re joined in progress as Studd and Andre are locked up. Studd works over the left arm as Andre grabs the hair and headbutts him. Another headbutt stuns Studd but John counters a backdrop by dropping the giant with a kick to the head. Studd drops two elbows as Heenan hops up on the apron with a pair of scissors. He hands Studd the scissors but Andre grabs Studd’s wrist and bites it. Andre headbutts and chops Studd then kicks Heenan who attempts to retrieve the scissors. Andre punches him out of the ring and grabs the scissors. He grabs Studd, punches him and slams him to the mat. He goes to cut Studd’s hair as Ventura scoffs….but have no fear Jesse for Bundy is here. King Kong Bundy makes his way to the ring and nails Andre just as he’s finished cutting a strand of hair off. Bundy repeatedly nails Andre with forearms as Studd gathers his bearings. Andre tries to fight back but Studd tackles him to the ground, allowing Bundy to land a big splash. Studd continues to hold the legs and Bundy splashes Andre again….and again. The ref tries to get Bundy out of there but to no avail as Heenan whips Bundy who splashes Andree for a 4th time. Cousin Junior, Rick McGraw, The Killer Bees and Lanny Poffo (none of which have yet to appear on video at this point) hit the ring to save Andre. Studd is irate at Andre cutting a bit of his hair as Bundy and Heenan try to calm him down in the entrance way. Bundy was fast becoming a monster heel and this match is what set up the big Saturday Night’s Main Event showndown between Andre and Hogan teaming against Bundy and Studd. By the way, “Quick Draw” Rick McGraw passed away on November 1st, 1985 shortly before this video was released. A shame he went so soon.

 

 

 

Time of match: Joined in progress

 

Winner: Andre the Giant by DQ

 

 

Now for one of the most famous and important segments in wrestling history. Free agent heel “Macho Man” Randy Savage has entered the WWF and is looking for a manager, marking this as his first appearance on Coliseum Video. He had been signed away from Memphis and he was last seen losing a Loser Leaves match to Jerry Lawler on June 7, 1985. We’re shown the July 19, 1985 episode of WWF where Bobby Heenan, Jimmy Hart and Freddie Blassie make their pitches to sign the Macho Man. Bobby shakes Randy’s hand and hypes him up as the most sought after star. Bobby claims he’s the number one manager which causes Jimmy Hart to laugh at him and Blassie to point out that Paul Orndorff fired him on live tv (without mentioning Orndorff by name). Heenan was supposed to be Orndorff’s manager despite his run with Piper so when he and Piper split, he and Heenan split as well. Heenan brings up how The Unamericans lost the WWF tag belts (back to Windham and Rotundo also not mentioned by name) while Blassie counters that at least his crew had them. Savage himself is the voice of reason to clam the heel managers down. Heenan asks if Randy likes the way he dresses and his style of living and says he can improve it. Heenan’s sales pitch is that he can make Savage a rich man soon and Randy says “He’s got a pojnt. This guy here is smart!” Heenan says that they should sign up and go but Jimmy and Freddie stop him. Jimmy Hart speaks next and says opportunity has knocked. Jimmy’s sales pitch is that while everyone else is spending money hand over fist, he can SAVE Savage a lot of money by shopping at K-Mart. Normally this is a ridiculous sales pitch but because Jimmy is so entertaining he pulls it off and has Savage almost convinced to sign up. Bobby “You wanna go shopping a Beverly Hills with me or go shopping at K-Mart with Jimmy?” Jimmy “Shop at K-Mart baby, save your money.” Savage “They’re confusing me man.” Vince says “I guess Jimmy is agreeing to work for less money” and Jimmy agrees. Hart brings up how he’s managing Bundy, Valentine and the Hart Foundation and Savage would be an excellent addition. Heenan “That’s a birdcall you just heard, its called cheap.” Savage says Bobby as a sense of humor and Jimmy counters with “10,000 comedians are out of work and Bobby’s trying to be one.” Finally its Blassie’s turn. He says he’s the only one who’s managed a world champion and he can get Savage as many diamonds as he wants. He pulls out a huge wad that looks to be 3 grand in cash and say that would be Randy’s walking around money. He guarantees Savage would make more money than ever and would be wearing outlandish attire to the ring. Jimmy laughs at Blassie as Savage takes his shirt off and poses for everyone. Blassie says he’ll pay 25% more than anyone else and won’t take a penny until Savage is world champion. Savage says that sounds good as Vince says we’re cutting to commercial. We then cut to Savage’s match which sets up which manager he chooses.

 

 

Match 6

 

Jim Young vs “Macho Man” Randy Savage with Freddie Blassie, Jimmy Hart, Mr. Fuji, Johnny Valiant and Bobby Heenan

 

Commentators: Vince McMahon and Bruno Sammartino

 

 We finally find out who Randy’s manager is….right after this squash match from July 30, 1985. Savage has all the heel managers with him as he makes his entrance wearing the green tights. Savage starts with an arm drag and a distraction by the bevy of managers has Young’s back turned long enough for Randy to get in a knee to the back. Randy throws him out of the ring and goes up to the top rope where he hits the flying axehandle. Randy tosses Jim back in and delayed suplexes him to the center of the ring. Savage goes upstairs and drops the FLYING ELBOW. The cover gets 1…..2….3 good night. Simple squash which served its purpose.

 

Time of match: 1:14

 

Winner: Randy Savage by pinfall

 

 

After the match, all the managers gather in the ring as Savage grabs the mic. He thanks everyone for their support and shills each and every one of them. Savage then says he’s the future WWF world champion (good call) and his manager is behind the door. He’s pointing toward the entrance of the arena meaning his manager is NOT amongst the heels in the ring. A spotlight shows on the orange double doors and Savage says “Here…SHE comes.” The doors open and out walks an absolutely gorgeous lady. Even Bruno on commentary is taken aback by her looks and of course Vince drools over her. Savage shows her off around the ring and all the managers nod in approval. Savage exits with his new valet before she even gets a name. As if you couldn’t guess, that was 24 year old Miss Elizabeth, Randy’s real life wife. There had been several valets in the territories such as Baby Doll, Sunshine, Lady Alexandra, Prescious, Woman, Dark Journey, etc but the WWF never really had one…until now. Savage dropped a bombshell by forgoing the male managers for a valet, one that he kept for the next 4 years.

 

From the beautiful to the ugly, we go from Miss Elizabeth to the hillbillies. They get their own tape which happens to be the next one in line so I’ll explain in more detail who they are on that one. Right now we’re shown highlights of their debut. September 10, 1985 saw Jim lead his “uncle” and “cousin” to the ring to tackle “Cowboy” Bob Orton’s real life brother Barry and jobber Jerry. I’ll tell the whole story on the next tape but the short version is Hillbilly Jim broke his leg while chasing Brutus Beefcake around ringside during a match. While he was recovering, Uncle Elmer and Cousin Junior took his place in the ring while Jim became the manager. Elmer was ring veteran Stan Frazier and Junior was rookie Lanny Kean who had spent 2 years in Kentucky. All 3 hillbillies are wearing overalls although Elmer’s only go down to his knees while the other two have full body overalls. They jug dance in the ring to overdubbed jugband music as a short Kevin McHale lookalike claps in the crowd. Jim makes his exit as Barry shouts invectives at him. Vince makes note that Hillbilly Jim was in the running for manager of the year which will be decided after the match. Vince asks Jesse who he thinks and Jesse goes with Bobby Heenan for trading The Missing Link and Adrian Adonis for King Kong Bundy. Let’s rewind a bit shall we? Dick Murdoch had left the company leaving Adonis all alone. The Missing Link started in the WWF in May of 1985. One month later, Heenan Family member Ken Patera was convicted of the assault charge that happened the year prior and was sent to prison. Heenan took Adonis to make up for the loss of Patera but his style didn’t fit with Heenan. With Jimmy managing The Hart Foundation, Bundy and Greg Valentine and Heenan down to just Studd, Adonis and Link, the two managers made a trade that sent Bundy to the Heenan Family and Link and Adonis to Hart’s First Family. Now Jimmy had The Foundation, Adonis, Link and Valentine while Heenan had just Studd and Bundy, but the two were the 2 biggest guys in the company behind Andre so it looked to be an even trade. Link left the company a month later and Greg Valentine somehow went from Jimmy Hart to Johnny V. Valentine teamed with Brutus Beefcake to become The Dream Team, which dethroned The US Express for the tag belts shortly before this match. Which brings me to my next point was so much turnover happened in the middle of 1985 that tapes like this were a double edged sword because the casual fans were confused as they were seeing Valentine with Jimmy Hart one minute then Greg with Johnny V the next. The segment cuts after a few shoulderblocks by Elmer on Orton. The actual match will be featured in the upcoming tape so I’ll review it then without the rant I just typed out.

 

Now back to TNT with Vince interviewing Jimmy Hart and Freddie Blassie the same night as when the two of them (along with Heenan) tried to acquire the services of Randy Savage. Vince tries to cause dissention between the two managers but they poo-poo that idea. Hart blames Heenan and Blassie says Hart’s like a brother to him. Vince stirs the pot by saying Blassie called Hart a cut-rate manager and Blassie says to Jimmy not to listen to Vince and Captain Lou is a slob (a reference thrown out of nowhere but still funny). Vince says Albano could win manager of the year and Hart says if he does, he’ll demand a recount. Vince asks what it would mean to Freddie if he won and Freddie tells Alfred (who’s off-screen) to shut up. He says it doesn’t matter if he wins as long as the women stops sending him love letters. Vince asks Jimmy what it would mean to him and Jimmy says it would be the greatest day of his life. Jimmy says he IS a cut-rate manager as he saves money for him and his clients. He brings up a great point about baseball players getting paid so much just to get hurt. We cut right there and the purpose of this was to set up the next segment where the 1985 Manager of the Year is revealed.

 

September 10, 1985, the same day as the hillbillies/Barry O showdown saw the manager of the year ceremony take place. King Kong Bundy and Big John Studd stand guard outside the ring while Bobby Heenan, Captain Lou and Hillbilly Jim stand next to the trophy with “Mean” Gene Okerlund our MC for the evening. Okerlund says the WWF has received one million votes and thanks the fans but Heenan grabs the mic. Heenan reels off the heel managers and says they all gave up their votes for Heenan to win. Added with Heenan’s votes alone, Heenan gets 519,711 votes. Bobby proclaims himself the manager of the year and grabs the trophy. Hillbilly Jim asks how many votes he has and Okerlund answers he has 316,428 votes. He asks how many Lou has and 314,166 is the total. Jim then gives up his votes to Lou which means…oh yes…CAPTAIN LOU ALBANO has won the 1985 WWF Manager of the Year award. Heenan goes beserk as Jim congratulates Captain. Heenan then nails Albano with the trophy as Okerlund hightails it out of there. Studd and Bundy hit the ring and suddenly Jim is down 2 against 1. Studd tackles Jim and Bundy splashes him again and again like we saw with Andre earlier in the tape. Heenan smashes the trophy. Bundy splashes Jim again but finally Junior and Elmer make their appearance. The Heenan family bail to the back as the hillbillies tend to Jim and Albano. Great way to maintain heel heat by Heenan’s crew.

 

Before we get to our next part, Heenan calls Albano a blob and says a future tape is on the way highlighting Albano. I’ll get to that in the future but for now we go back to a TNT interview back when Lou was a heel. Vince asks why Albano isn’t managing the tag team champions and Lou answers his team will be champions again. Albano brings up his appearance in Cyndi Lauper’s videos and takes credit for making her a superstar. Lou “I made her, because what woman ever made it on her own, heh heh.”  Vince suggests that his recent foray into music has rendered him ineffective as a wrestling manager and Albano scoffs. He says the Wild Samoans blame him for losing to the Soul Patrol but he says the Samoans should have won. Lou claims that Cyndi is schizophrenic but he can handle it which causes Alfred (off-screen) to laugh. He claims he has a high IQ of 157 and he has a genius brain. Vince asks Albano how much money he takes from Cyndi and the Samoans and he claims Lauper should be paying HIM for his services which causes Vince to cut right then and there. I don’t know why but heel Albano was always 100 times funnier than his cartoonish persona as a babyface. On to the final match on the tape.

 

 

Match 7

 

Captain Lou Albano and Afa vs Andre the Giant and Pedro Morales

 

Commentators: Vince McMahon and Pat Patterson(??)

 

   We go back in time to August 23, 1980 at the Philadelphia Spectrum to see Afa and Lou challenge the team of future and past WWF champions Andre and Pedro. Was Sika out sick that day or something? Andre is in the blue tights, Pedro in bright orange with Afa in his standard with Albano wearing a similar style to Afa only blue instead of black. Andre sneaks over and rams Afa and Lou’s heads together and Afa barely sells it while Lou just stomps his feet, dances and exits the ring…..wow. We get a TAPE EDIT and now Afa is backing Pedro in the corner where Albano chokes him from behind. Afa goes for the big left hand but Morales moves and Albano takes the punch. Albano gets in the ring and shouts “What the hell you doin?” The unnamed announcer says “heck” to cover up for Albano’s 1970’s curse in case children were watching. Afa pleads his case but Lou leaves and we get another TAPE EDIT where once again Afa backs Morales into their corner. Afa pounds away before Albano tag in. Lou attacks with right hands but when he gets hit, he bails and tags in Afa. Morales grabs Lou by the hair before Afa stops him with a headbutt. Another TAPE EDIT has Albano tagging back in with a forearm to the back of Morales. Another forearm is followed with a scoop slam but Morales takes him down and tags in Andre. Albano retreats to his corner and tags in Afa. Andre greets Afa with a giant punch and a giant boot. The announcers continue to laugh rather than commentate. Andre does his ass spot which causes more laughter then Andre stands on Afa’s hair. Andre puts his head down and eats a kick to the head. Afa drops the giant and chokes him on the second rope. Afa nails Andre with a headbutt before locking in a nerve hold. Andre counters but Albano tags in. Lou kicks away at Andre until the giant stands on his foot. Andre headbutts Albano twice which causes Lou to stagger in the wrong corner. Andre rams Lou’s head into the buckle then tags in Morales. Lou is busted open and Morales cleans house. Morales rams Lou’s head into Afa’s and Albano tippietoes out of the ring and to the back leaving Afa all alone. Morales whips Afa into the giant boot of Andre then makes the cover for 1…2…3 and its over. Terrible, clipped match and all it did was make Albano look bad. Still, there’s no “best of” in the title so the lack of good matches is somewhat expected.

 

 

Time of match: Who cares?

 

Winners: Andre and Pedro by pinfall

 

 

The credits roll and afterwards we get Gene Okerlund this time narrating the previews for BEST OF WWF VOLUME 5, THE LIFE AND TIMES OF CAPTAIN LOU ALBANO and TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS. Guess THE WRESTLING CLASSIC gets the shaft. As for this tape, it was mostly a mess. They had to cram about 7-8 managers into an hour and a half and just as easily could have devoted the entire tape to a few of them. Hell, Captain Lou gets one all to himself very soon. A shame Bobby Heenan didn’t get his own for another 25 years (and even then it was a lackluster dvd). Still, the purpose was to highlight the managers and it did just that. Not much more you can ask for. Back then male managers were just as important as the wrestlers they managed and that’s why these guys were legendary. I give it 3 stars out of 5 with 2 points off for lack of good matches and it was a production mess at some times. The next tape after this is WRESTLING’S COUNTRY BOYS so we’ll pick up there.

Best of the WWF Volume 3 (WF010)

Best of the WWF volume 3

BEST OF THE WWF VOLUME 3 (WF010)

After ROWDY RODDY PIPER’S GREATEST HITS came this one, Best of the WWF Volume 3. At this point, through 9 tapes you had a pretty good idea of what was going on, who was on the roster and some of the classic moments/matches from yesteryear. The problem was how do you keep things fresh when you’ve seen all the marquee matchups already? The one thing about Vince McMahon Jr that has been able to keep his company afloat for over 30 years is the ability to create/promote new stars. Vince had bought out Stu Hart’s Stampede Wrestling based out of Calgary (one of the only promoters that sold out) and had gotten the services of some of their top stars. So this tape will feature the Coliseum Video debuts of The British Bulldogs (Dynamite Kid and Davey Boy Smith) and The Hart Foundation (Bret Hart and Jim Niedhart). Save for their appearances at WRESTLEMANIA, this will also be the debuts of King Kong Bundy, David Sammartino, The US Express (Barry Windham and Mike Rotundo) and Ricky Steamboat. That’s a grand total of 9 guys that weren’t featured previously. Due to one of the matches taking place in July of 85, I’d venture a guess that this tape was released sometime in the fall of 1985. Cue the Coliseum Video opening montage and Vince himself is our host for the evening. He runs down the entire tape and we get highlights of all the action we’re about to witness. He takes us to our first match, which is from the now stale feud between Roddy Piper and Jimmy Snuka.

 

Match 1

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper vs “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka in a Strap Match

Commentator: Jesse Ventura

 We got back to July 20, 1984 for the big strap match between Snuka and Piper. Nowadays a strap match has two guys tied with a strap and the winner is the first to touch all 4 corners. This match, however, will be pinfall wins. As I mentioned before, the whole Piper/Snuka feud was long over by the time this tape was released and we’d already seen them go at it in MOST UNUSUAL MATCHES and of course in Piper’s Greatest Hits. Piper and Snuka are in their standard trunks and Piper slowly slips the strap on. Snuka slaps Piper’s wrist with the strap then to the side of the leg. Piper swings and misses then they both tries to choke each other, leading to a test of strength. Snuka wins it and chokes Piper with it but Roddy counters with the eye gouge. Piper whips Snuka with the strap then catches him in the throat with it. Piper chases the ref out of the way then nails Snuka with the strap. Snuka takes Piper down and chokes him with the strap again. Piper bails to the outside but Jimmy drags him back in. Jimmy sends Roddy off and catches him with the double chops before continually whipping him with the strap. Piper tries to bail again but Jimmy pulls him back in. They trade blows in the center but Snuka gets the advantage with a big chop. Snuka chokes Piper again who fades after a while. Snuka makes a cover but Piper kicks out at two and gets in another eye gouge. Piper unloads with right hands on the ground then starts whipping him with the strap. Piper goes for the headbutt but Snuka no-sells so Roddy goes back to the trusty eye gouge. They trade blows in the corner before Piper rams Jimmy’s head into the buckle which is no-sold. Even Ventura on commentary says that won’t get Piper anywhere. So Roddy goes back to the handy dandy eye poke before sending Snuka through the ropes with a right hand. Piper follows and rams Snuka into the ringpost. Snuka then returns the favor and Roddy gets back inside. Snuka follows and goes to town with chops and a jumping headbutt. Another jumping headbutt drops Piper and Jimmy goes upstairs. Snuka flies off the top with a crossbody for 1…2…THREE and he got him. Wow, Piper did a job….a rarity. Snuka celebrates but Piper cuts him off. Piper chokes Snuka with the strap after the bell until the refs pry him off. Roddy keeps his heel heat while Snuka wins the match. Does a match like this belong on this tape? Piper did a clean pinfall job, that NEVER happens so yes it does.

 

Time of match: 6:06

Winner: Jimmy Snuka by pinfall

 

We move right along to the next match

 

Match 2

“Cowboy” Bob Orton vs Ricky Steamboat

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Gene Okerlund

   A year to the day after the first match now sees Steamboat take on Orton. Actually since the match was July 20, 1985 it makes it the most recent one on the tape. Orton’s in the green trunks with Steamboat in the black, plus Orton still has the cast on. Steamboat gives Orton crap about the cast on his arm before the tie up. Steamboat eats a shoulderblock but leapfrogs Orton and armdrags him. Steamboat wrenches the “injured” arm and does a number on it. Ricky whips Orton into the corner and chops him. Orton falls and we get a TAPE EDIT. Steamboat goes back to the arm wringer, blocks a punch and continues to go to town on him. Steamboat wrenches the hammerlock with his FEET and falls backward twice. Ricky continues to work the arm with a kneedrop. Orton recovers and catches Ricky with a boot to the ribs. Ricky reverses a whip but Orton baseball slides right into a big chop from the future Dragon. Another armdrag takes Orton down as Okerlund says we’re witnessing something special. Ricky has the arm-bar locked in but Bob counters with a scoop slam. Ricky quickly recovers and scoop slams Orton. ANOTHER arm drag has the crowd popping and we get another TAPE EDIT. Action resumes with Orton powering out of an arm-bar with a headbutt in the corner. A big forearm is followed by hiptossing Steamboat halfway across the ring. Orton executes a flying head scissors but the second attempted misses and he flails over the top rope to the floor. Orton grabs a fan’s drink and throws it at Steamboat who sells it like he had acid thrown on him. Orton goes on offense as Okerlund says the fan must be pissed without actually saying that. A big punch is followed by ramming Ricky;s head into the buckle. Orton lands another big right and follows it with a facebuster. A knee lift drops Ricky as Orton poses for the crowd and gets a decent pop actually. Orton still sells the arm wringers from earlier (a lost art today) but still catches Steamboat with a right hand. Orton applies a neck wrench and takes Steamboat to his knees with it. Orton snaps the neck then drops an elbow to the throat, but the cover only gets a two. Orton applies a rest-hold and goes to drop the cast on Ricky….but he moves out of the way in time. Orton sells the left arm and Ricky catches him with a chop. Ricky goes for the scoop slam but collapses with Orton on top 1…2..noooo, too close. Orton goes back to the standing chinlock then slams him down. Think of a rock bottom but without going underneath the arm. Orton covers for a deuce then shouts at the crowd “I came this close” and poses. Okerlund says that means nothing and Orton methodically stalks Ricky. They trade blows in the center of the ring before Ricky gets the upper hand with chops in the corner. A big right drops Orton but Bob counters with a punch to the ribs. Orton goes for a piledriver but is backdropped by Steamboat. Ricky goes up to the top rope and delivers the flying crossbody for 1…2..NOOOOOO. Orton becomes the first guy ever to kick out of Steamboat’s finisher. Ricky sends Orton off the ropes and catches him with a back elbow smash. A karate chop to the head is followed by a cover for 1….2…no. Okerlund “Come on Richard, gotta hook the leg.” Orton counters with an inverted atomic drop and throws Ricky over the top rope, but Steamboat skins the cat back in. Steamboat catches Orton with a running enziguri and Orton throws himself over the rope to the floor. Orton gets back on the apron and is met with a right hand. The ref tries to stop Steamboat from attacking which allows Orton enough time to get in an eye gouge. Orton goes to superplex Steamboat outside but Ricky counters by suplexing him back in. Ricky goes for a big splash but Orton gets his knees up. Bob adjusts his cast then goes up to the top rope. Stemboat staggers into a big left forearm off the top. The ref notices Orton used the catch and calls for the bell….WOW! A classic match ends with a cheap ending. The ref raises Ricky’s arm in victory and Orton goes beserk in protest. Orton chases Ricky with the cast but Steamboat ducks under and chops him. A series of chops sends Orton retreating to the back as Steamboat stands tall in the ring. Outstanding showing by both guys and Orton keeps his heat despite the loss.

 

Time of match: An unofficial 11:45

Winner: Ricky Steamboat by DQ

 

Moving right along to the next match.

 

Match 3

“Unpredictable” Johnny Rodz and Rene Goulet vs The British Bulldogs (Dynamite Kid and Davey Boy Smith)

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Gene Okerlund

  Madison Square Garden, April 22, 1985 and this could possibly be the WWF debuts of the Bulldogs. My father used to say “There’s nothing unpredictable about Rodz, he loses every time!” and Goulet was pretty much ripping off Ted Dibiase in Mid-South with the gloved hand. The Bulldogs are in the long red tights, Goulet and Rodz in standard trunks. We start with Dynamite backing Goulet into the corner then backing off. Goulet gets in a side headlock but Kid scissors out of it. Vince in the voiceover explains Johnny got that nickname by constantly turning on tag team partners. Vince says Goulet was once a great competitor and tag team champion with Tony Garea. Great, a Frenchman and a New Zealie…what a team that was. Dynamite leapfrogs out of an arm-bar and decks Rene with a shoulderblock. Rene leapfrogs over Dynamite and arm drags him but Kid’s athleticism counters the arm drag with one of his own. The crowd pops as Rodz comes in to protest. Davey tags in but eats a shoulderblock from Goulet. Rene charges but Davey catches him with the running roll-up for 1…2…nope, Rodz comes in to grab Davey and fling him over the top rope. Davey leaps over the top rope and dropkicks Rodz into Goulet. Johnny goes into the wrong corner and is met with a right hand from Dynamite Kid. Johnny staggers into a right hand from Davey Boy. Rodz begs off and retreats to his corner before Goulet tags him in legally. Davey gets in a side-headlock but Johnny sends him off the ropes and catches him with a knee to the ribs. Johnny scoop slams him then goes upstairs. Davey quickly gets up and slams him off the top to the center of the ring. Davey Boy goes up to the top rope and nails Johnny with a dropkick. Dynamite alertly sees Goulet sneaking up on Davey and comes off the top himself with a dropkick, sending Goulet crashing to the mat. Dynamite nips up and the Bulldogs ram their opponents’ heads together. Dynamite executes a snap suplex on Rodz then a gut-wrench suplex as well. Dynamite covers but only gets a 2 count as Okerlund says you gotta hook the leg. Dynamite snap-mares Johnny and goes for the rest-hold. Johnny escapes using the thumb to the eye and a right hand to the back of the neck. Johnny rams Dynamite’s head into Goulet’s boot and tags him in. Goulet gets in an axehandle smash to the ribs then scoop slams him. Goulet drops a knee, tags in Rodz and holds him as Johnny comes off the top with a forearm to the back. Johnny gets in a suplex of his own then does a diving headbutt. The sloppy cover only gets 1 ½ and Dynamite powers out of it. Rodz scoop slams him again but misses the diving headbutt. Davey gets the tag but Rodz cuts him off with a low blow. Goulet tags in and gut-wrench suplexes him but the cover only gets a one count. Rene sends Davey off and drops him with a running knee to the mid-section. Rene stomps on Davey then slams his head into the top turnbuckle. Rodz tags in and unloads on Davey in the corner. Johnny floors Smith with a flying back elbow smash but misses the leg drop.  Davey hits his delayed suplex but Goulet breaks up the cover. Dynamite tags in who greets Johnny with a headbutt. Goulet protests so he gets a headbutt as well. Dynamite walks into an eye gouge and Johnny rams him into Goulet’s elbow. Rene tags in and he and Rodz double clotheslines Dynamite. The cover gets 1 ½ and Goulet takes Dynamite over with a snap mare. Goulet pins Dynamite’s arms down but he bridges. Goulet puts his weight on Dynamite but Kid doesn’t budge. Goulet tries it again but Dynamite counters with a monkey flip up that sends Goulet nearly all the way across the ring. Davey tags in who backdrops Goulet but the sloppy cover only gets a two. Rodz gets the tag but Davey moves out of the way so he tries an axehandle but hits nothing. He then walks right into a RUNNING POWERSLAM by Smith who covers for 1….nope, Goulet breaks it up. Davey puts Rene into an airplane spin then tags in Dynamite. Kid goes up top the top then jumps off Goulet to flying headbutt Rodz. The cover gets 1..2…3 and its over. Outstanding match. I expected a 4 minute jobber match to put over the Bulldogs but this was much better. It made all 4 men look good as the right men were put over without making Rodz and Goulet look like fools. Does this match belong on this tape? Normally I’d say no but this was a lot better than expected.

 

Time of match: Joined in progress

Winners: The British Bulldogs by pinfall

 

We move right along to the next match

 

Match 4

The Hart Foundation (Bret Hart and Jim Niedhart) with Jimmy Hart vs The British Bulldogs (Dynamite Kid and Davey Boy Smith)

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Alfred Hays

 Things just keep getting better and better. July 13, 1985 saw the first WWF encounter between the Bulldogs and the new heel tag team of The Hart Foundation. Bret Hart’s Coliseum Video debut should be a good one at Madison Square Garden. Vince mentions Bret’s past with the Bulldogs (but without mentioning Stampede) before hyping the Foundation as possible future tag team champions (good call). We get a TAPE EDIT off the bat which edits out the Bulldogs entrance and the opening sequence. The Bulldogs are in the long red tights while the Foundation are in all black with red stripe. Dynamite has Bret in a hammerlock but Hart reverses it. Dynamite runs around the ring and slides down, causing Bret to crash through the ropes and to the outside. Bret goes to regroup with Anvil and Jimmy but we get another TAPE EDIT. Now Niedhart is competing with Davey in a test of strength. Niedhart kicks Davey in the ribs to gain the advantage. Niedhart sends Davey off but Smith flips over Jim and dropkicks him down. Bret tags in and nails Davey with a running knee to the ribs. Bret grabs the legs and kicks Davey in the ribs. Bret rams Smith’s head into Jim’s knee then fires away with right hands. Niedhart tags in and they deliver a double back elbow smash. Niedhart covers but referee Dick Woehrle is too busy chirping at Bret to get out of the ring. Niedhart clubs Davey with a forearm to the chest then delivers a backbreaker…..which allows Bret to come off the top with an elbow. A Demolition Decapitator a few years before Demolition formed. Bret taunts the crowd with his arms outstretched as Niedhart continues to work over Davey. Niedhart gets in a headbutt then an axehandle to the head. Another TAPE EDIT now shows Bret in the ring with Davey. Jim holds him as Bret runs off the ropes, but Davey moves and Bret crashes into Niedhart. Dynamite gets the tag and whips the Foundation together. Dynamite damn near takes Bret’s head off with his trademark hard clothesline (that Chris Benoit later used in his honor) and nails Niedhart with a jumping headbutt. Dynamite backdrops Anvil then slams Bret down by the hair. A falling headbutt stuns Bret and Kid follows with a knee drop. Dynamite whips Bret sternum first into the corner which gets a huge pop from the crowd. Jimmy Hart goes beserk outside as Dynamite covers for 1..2..nope, Anvil makes the save. Dynamite goes up to the top rope and nails Bret with a dropkick before tagging in Davey Boy. Smith executes the running powerslam on Bret and covers for 1….2..nope, Anvil makes the save again. Another damn TAPE EDIT now has Bret in control with an elbow to the head. Bret chokes Davey on the top rope but he sommersaults backwards and dropkicks the Hitman. Davey crawls for the tag but Anvil drags him back into his corner. Bret drops a leg and rams Davey’s head into Niedhart’s knee. Jim gets the tag and Bulldog goes for the sunset flip but the bell sounds. The Foundation retreat as the crowd beats a hasty exit. Bret Hart spoke about in his book that despite Hulk Hogan being the main event, the tag matches were usually on last. Well that was very disappointing, the match itself was at least 20 minutes but we had about 15 of that clipped. Why would they show the Goulet/Rodz match in its entirety but clip this one? It was a good match but too edited for this to be special. There is good news though, the match IS in its entirety on Bret Hart’s 3 Disc DVD compilation but for now this is what we get. Does it belong on this tape? Yes, just not clipped this badly.

 

Time of match: 20 minutes (but heavily edited for this tape)

Winner: No one (Time limit draw)

 

Now we go to a TNT episode where George “The Animal” Steele and Captain Lou Albano visit “Dr. Sigmund Ziff” with Vince McMahon wearing a Barney purple suit. Steele is lying on a green couch and Albano is sitting on the desk. Vince asks why we’re here and Lou rambles about how there’s a medulla oblongata blockage and calcium deposits which causes George to be “The Animal”. Apparently George needs Dr. Ziff to administer psychotherapy. The doc speaks with a phony German accent and says George is pretty much hopeless. First we’re going to try hypnosis as Albano lotions himself. Dr. Ziff says to go back to childhood and Steele bellows “SCHOOL!” Ziff asks what happened “FOOTBALL!” is the answer. Steele says he almost cut someone’s tongue out and the Doc scoffs. To make this nonsense short, when George was 13 years old he was on the football team but the teacher called him a dummy in front of everyone which caused him not to talk anymore. Doctor says when he snaps George out of it, he’ll be normal again. Of course when the Doc snaps him out of it he acts like the usual Animal. Captain Lou has to calm him down. Albano starts ranting and raving that we need more help. We cut to another TNT shows with Dr Ziff, Captain Lou, George and Vince wearing a normal brown suit. Now we’re going to do some electro-shock therapy. Ziff puts a helmet on his head that looks similar to the one Rick Moranis wore in the movie Ghostbusters. Dr. Ziff shocks him and Steele starts smiling. He turns the machine off and George says “How now brown cow?” Albano and the Doc cheer. Ziff starts upping the voltage and Steele starts spazzing. He gets up, runs away and starts screaming “HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!” Albano starts calling the Doc a quack and we cut here. Stupid but it was to set up the next match.

 

Match 5

“Big” John Studd, Adrian Adonis and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan vs George “The Animal” Steele and The US Express (Barry Windham and Mike Rotundo) with Captain Lou Albano

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Gene Okerlund

   June 21, 1985 at Madison Square Garden saw this epic encounter as Heenan takes the place of Ken Patera who was off to jail in a match against the former tag team champs and Steele. Barry Windham is in the red tights, Rotundo in the blue with Steele in his normal. Heenan’s got his mini-Andre tights with Studd and Adonis in their standard. Steele starts out with Heenan and chases him out of the ring. Steele chases Heenan back in as Albano confers with him. Heenan hides behind Studd as Adonis gets in. Okerlund “Are we gonna draw straws now?”. Windham tags in and now we’re going to see some wrestling. Adonis runs into 2 armdrags, 4 scoop slams and another arm drag. Adonis staggers into the face corner and gets bitten by Steele in the face. Adonis retreats and tags Studd before bailing to the back. Referee Dick Kroll tells Adonis to get back here. Windham and Studd circle as Albano screams “Yayyyyyy” outside. Studd backs Windham into the ropes and delivers a forearm. Barry runs into a shoulderblock but ducks under the big guy and nails him with a right hand. Barry goes for a slam but Studd blocks it. Barry punches Studd and goes to slam him again but again he’s blocked. The third time almost gets him but John holds onto the ropes and makes it down safely. Studd goes for a back suplex but Barry rolls out of it and catches him with a crossbody. Barry only gets a one count and we get a TAPE EDIT. Windham is dazed in the corner and Heenan tags in. Heenan pounds away but gets whipped horizontally into the opposite corner. Windham pounds away with elbows before whipping him into the opposite corner where he flips backwards out of the ring. Steele chases Heenan until he catches him and rams his head into the steel guardrail. Adonis jumps on him and he eats guardrail as well for his troubles. Captain Lou calms Steele down as Rotundo tags in to go at it with Studd. Rotundo digs into his Syracuse U background and wrestles Studd to the ground. Studd recovers to shove Rotundo into his corner. Adonis tags in to stomp away and then front suplexes him onto the top rope. Adonis boots Mike in the gonads (yes of course I’m serious) then poses. Mike whips Adrian into the corner but a charge eats elbow. Adonis then DDT’s Rotundo (a year before Jake started doing it) and covers for 1….2.nope. Heenan tags in to attack Mike as the crowd chants USA. Windham and Steele interfere and they clean out the heels. Steele bites Heenan and a pier six brawl develops. Adonis crotches himself on the top rope as Studd nails Steele over the top rope. Steele grabs a chair and he clears out the heels without hitting anyone…then clocks the referee. Rotundo and Windham beg and plead for Steele to put the chair down and he throws it out of the ring. Dick Kroll calls for the bell and this one’s over. Captain Lou tries to calm down George as Howard Finkel announces Heenan’s team the winners. The point of this match was to get over the fact that Steele is nuts. It worked. Does it belong on a tape like this? No but that spot where Steele clocks Kroll with a chair was hilarious.

 

Time of match: Who knows, tape edits again.

Winners: Heenan, Studd and Adonis by DQ

 

We now go to highlights of Bruno Sammartino. First, he beats the crap out of Ivan Koloff in a steel cage then we cut to Wrestlemania where David Sammartino, Bruno, Johnny V/Brutus Beefcake’s promos. Then we see highlights of the brawl that develops at the end of the Sammartino/Beefcake match which sets up our next contest, the return of Bruno Sammartino to active duty for a few more matches.

 

Match 6

“Luscious” Johnny Valiant and Brutus Beefcake vs Bruno and David Sammartino (with Arnold Skaaland)

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Alfred Hays

  49 year old Bruno comes out of retirement to team with his son at Madison Square Garden on May 20, 1985. The Sammartinos are both wearing black trunks. Brutus wears his goofy getup with Valiant in black tights with a green headband. The heels stall…and stall…and stall some more. Monsoon makes the comment Bruno looks better than ever because he never really had serious injuries throughout his career and all he’s done is train and run since his retirement. There’s your main issue why Bruno is still kicking at nearly 80 years old today while a lot of people ½ and some 1/3 of his age dropped dead from years of drug, steroid and alcohol abuse. As Bruno and Johnny tie up, Monsoon questions how much rust Bruno has on him. Funny how Johnny V has been more of a manager than a wrestler but Gorilla doesn’t question him. Bruno shoulderblocks Johnny and boots him in the head. 2 arm drags sends Valiant bailing to the outside as Beefcake comes in and gets rammed into the turnbuckle head first. A big right hand sends him out as the crowd pops. Bruno reaches through the ropes and rams the heels’ heads together. Monsoon says he’s still got it as Valiant and Beefcake regroup. Valiant gets back in and gets in the trusty eye gouge but charging from the corner is met with a back drop. Bruno’s arm drag is followed by an arm wringer as David tags in. Valiant gets to his feet and sends David off but the younger Sammartino drops him with a shoulderblock. David runs into a scoop slam but he counters with one of his own. David armdrags Valiant and works the arm until Johnny makes it to his feet. Johnny runs into a shoulderblock but David runs into a hiptoss. Johnny misses an elbow drop and walks right into an armdrag. Beefcake tags in and gets caught in an arm wringer. David turns it into a hammerlock and tags out to Bruno. Bruno takes Beefcake down with it and does his wrench of doom (he continually wrenches the arm) he trademarked in the 60/70’s. Monsoon says he can’t how many times Bruno did it to him and Hays says he did it to him too. David tags in and takes over, doing the same thing. David goes for the arm bar pin but Valiant breaks it up. Beefcake stomps him in the ribs and makes the tag to Valiant who comes off the top rope with a forearm to the back. Valiant sends David off but he gets caught with a boot to the head and David tags out to Bruno. Johnny begs off but Bruno attacks in the corner with lefts and rights. Bruno sends him off and kicks him in the ribs, staggering Valiant in the wrong corner where David greets him with a right hand. David tags in and goes to work with right hands while Bruno holds him. Valiant gets in a few right hands and rams his head into the buckle (he’s overselling everything). Valiant chokes him on the second rope and Beefcake gets in a forearm on the outside. Valiant whips David into the knee of Beefcake. Brutus tags in and executes 2 consecutive backbreakers before dropping a forearm to the jaw. Brutus executes a snapmare and tags in Valiant who scoop slams him. Johnny whips David in the corner and hits a sloppy looking kick. Valiant whips David in the opposite corner but misses the charge. David schoolboys Valiant for 1….2…3 good night. It was actually a fast count by the ref and even Beefcake complains. The ref raises the Sammartinos arms in victory and we cut here. This was one of the last high profile matches for David for he felt he was being used just to get his father back in the ring and his father felt the same. This marked a string of 3 years where David would be hired, fired, re-hired, re-fired as Bruno was forced to accept more bookings than he wanted to. Does this match belong on a tape like this? Normally no but we got Bruno in the ring who really was the best for about 20 years.

 

Time of match: 9:08

Winners: The Sammartinos by pinfall

 

Now we go to a god awful TNT skit from April 26, 1985 where King Kong Bundy tries on wigs, I’ll explain why its awful shortly. Bundy is shirtless and wearing sandals with Jimmy Hart wearing a zebra striped suit. Vince asks if he’d like to have more privacy and Bundy says absolutely. He doesn’t want to take pictures with kids or sign autographs, just wants to be with his crew. Vince asks if he’d like to go incognito and Bundy rolls his eyes and says “I wish.” Vince says Alfred has been trying on wigs and suggests Bundy do as well. Bundy asks Jimmy if he should and Hart says “take a shot.”  Vince hands him a gray one and Bundy says no. He hands him a black one and he puts it on. Hart says it doesn’t match his eyes. Bundy tries on a brown mullet and Hart says “its not you.” Finally he tries on a permed brown one that fits but Alfred laughs. Bundy goes beserk and screams at him that he’ll break him in half. Bundy and Hart storms off as Alfred continues to laugh. Why is this god awful? They tried to make Bundy look silly and “have a personality” by doing this shit, but what it does is kill the character. Bundy was supposed to be a human wrecking machine and booking him as a monster would get him over, not have him try on wigs. Fans want to see Bundy slaughter babyfaces, not make an ass out of himself on TNT. The company never learned its lesson, killing off Goldberg before he started nearly 20 years later in almost the same fashion. On to the next match before I vomit.

 

Match 7

King Kong Bundy (with Jimmy Hart) vs Tony Garea

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Gene Okerlund

  June 21, 1985 saw Bundy take on Garea at Madison Square Garden. This was the match highlighted in BIGGEST, SMALLEST, STRANGEST, STRONGEST but I assume this will be the complete match. Garea and Bundy are both in standard gear while Jimmy Hart is in a loud blue zebra striped jacket. Okerlund asks why Hart carries a “bullhorn” to the ring. They tie up and Bundy heaves him into the ropes before posing for the irate crowd. Garea goes to the apron to kick at Hart and Bundy protests. Back inside, Bundy heaves him into the ropes again. Okerlund makes note that Garea was a 5 time tag team champion as Tony gets in a side headlock. Bundy sends him off and drops him with a shoulderbreaker. Garea gets up and runs into another one as Okerlund says “Tony please, its like running into a brick wall.” Garea goes off the ropes and this time starts punching and kicking the big man. Garea attacks with right hands in the corner but a big forearm by Bundy stops that. Bundy sends him off the ropes and floors him with a back elbow smash. Bundy goes for the big elbow but Tony rolls out of the way. Garea gets a single leg takedown and works over the left leg. Tony stomps him in the midsection and Bundy retreats to the corner. They circle before Bundy gets in a forearm and rams Tony’s head into the top turnbuckle. Bundy gets a knee to the lower back and stands on him, causing Jimmy Hart to laugh. Monsoon makes his famous “Go on down to the stockyards and hang on a meat scale” that he uses to describe big men. We get a TAPE EDIT and now Bundy has Garea in a rest-hold. Bundy lets go and clubs him with a forearm before staggering him into the ropes. Garea counters with a dropkick and a shoulderblock that staggers Bundy. A second and third shoulderblock drives Bundy into the corner. Garea tries to whip him to the opposite corner but Bundy reverses it and hits the AVALANCHE. Garea crumples to the mat like a dead deer and Bundy hits the big splash for 1…2..3 to win it. Bundy almost literally squashes Garea to get him over as a future star. Hart jumps into Bundy’s arms as we go to the replay. Does this match belong on the tape? Not really, but its purpose is to show that Bundy is a mean looking fella. THAT is how you book Bundy, not by having him try on wigs.

 

Time of match: Another damn tape edit

Winner: King Kong Bundy by pinfall

 

On to the final match of the tape.

 

Match 8

18 Man Battle Royal with $30,000 on the line

Commentators: Vince McMahon and Gene Okerlund.

  We go back in time to February 10, 1984 for this epic battle royal. This is also 18 days after Hogan took the title from Iron Sheik. The participants are Masked Superstar, Moondog Rex, Samu, Mil Mascaras, “Dr. D” David Schultz, Bob Boyer, Mr. Fuji, Tiger Chung Lee, Ivan Putski, Big John Studd, Tony Atlas, Paul Orndorff,  Rocky Johnson, Adrian Adonis, Jimmy Snuka, Dick Murdoch, Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant. As I said earlier Mil Mascaras was the Hulk Hogan of Mexico in terms of staying at the top of the card and refusing to job no matter how old he was. Bob Boyer is the only jobber in the match. We join in progress and SCHULTZ has already been eliminated. Orndorff attacks Masked Superstar as Andre and Studd go at it. Hogan nails Adonis with an elbow as Putski nails Fuji with a punch. Murdoch then pounds on Andre as Rex attacks Hogan. Hogan grabs REX, points at the floor and tosses him over the top and out. Adonis comes off the top with a forearm to Orndorff. Andre headbutts Samu who does his “head caught in the ropes” spot. Johnson gets in a punch to Mascaras as Studd and Superstar go at it. Chung Lee attacks Orndorff from behind as Fuji and Adonis double-team Hogan. Adonis goes upstairs but Hogan slams him off. Andre big splashes Boyer and a huge pig pile with everyone in the ring flattens the poor guy. Mil Mascaras is able to stand on top of everyone to show off. Once everyone breaks up, Orndorff stomps on BOYER as the refs try to drag him outside. Apparently the refs say he can’t continue so he’s out of there. Studd wanders outside the ring then chokes Andre from the apron. Murdoch and Adonis has Hogan halfway out but Putski makes the save. Adonis hammers away on Hogan but he Hulks Up on him. Boyer is shown being carted off on a stretcher and we miss Tiger Chung LEE getting tossed out. Murdoch and Adonis pound on Hogan as Studd wanders around outside again. Orndorff nails Johnson from behind as Andre punches Atlas. Tony dumps Masked SUPERSTAR but he pulls a sore loser and pulls out ATLAS as well. Rocky nails Murdoch but Samu nails him from behind. Johnson ducks a charge and ORNDORFF goes over the top and out. Murdoch knees him in the back but he goes through the ropes. Orndorff grabs him and rams him head first into the ringpost. Johnson is busted wide open as Orndorff continues the assault on the floor. Orndorff shoves the referee out of the way and throws Rocky back in the ring before making his loud exit. Back inside Murdoch and Adonis double-team Johnson as Studd bails to the outside again. I scan the ring and noticed Johnson, Murdoch, Adonis, Putski, Fuji, Samu, Andre, Hogan, Mascaras and Studd still with us……SNUKA is nowhere to be found so obviously he’s been thrown out at some point and everyone missed it. Johnson goes into beast mode and rallies with right hands on Murdoch, then Adonis. Johnson headbutts  Adonis then drops Samu with punches. Johnson ducks as SAMU misses a crossbody and flies over the top and out. JOHNSON and MURDOCH trade punches before they both topple over the floor and out. They trade blows on the outside before Murdoch bails to the back. We’re down to 7 men as Mascaras and Putski try to dump Studd, Andre pounds on Fuji and Hogan goes at it with Murdoch. Hogan ducks a charge and ADONIS goes over the top and out. At the same time Andre dumps FUJI and Studd uses body scissors plus his long reach to tip MASCARAS over and out. Down to the final four, Andre and Hogan go at it as Studd pounds on Putski. Andre drops Hogan with a chop as Studd backdrops PUTSKI over the top and out. Hogan and Andre try to eliminate each other so Studd comes from behind and shoves them. ANDRE grabs hold of HOGAN and Studd dumps them both to win the match. Wow, who saw THAT coming? Andre gets back in to chase Studd out of the ring. Andre chases Studd in the ring to go one on one with Hogan. Studd bails and he’s cornered by the duo. Studd tries to escape but they pull him out of the ring. Andre and Hogan double team Studd until he manages to break free. Hogan raises Andre’s arm but Studd is the winner. Even though Hogan and Andre got the cheap face heat at the end, bottom line was Hogan was eliminated fair and square for once without pulling a sore loser. Still don’t know what happened to Snuka, he was there one minute and gone without a trace. Anyway, does this match belong on this tape? For the double fact Andre lost a battle royal and Hogan was eliminated fairly, I’d say so.

 

Time of match: Edited and joined in progress (real time 13:28)

Winner: Big John  Studd

 

The credits roll and we’re done here. We get a graphic for WWF HOME VIDEO SERIES at 430 West 54th Street, New York, NY 100019. Send them a letter today and see what happens. Now we get previews for BEST OF THE WWF VOLUME 4. THE AMAZING MANAGERS and WRESTLING’S COUNTRY BOYS. Well that was a thrill ride, we had everything from TNT skits to battle royals, strap matches and the return of Bruno. It was a decent tape that highlighted the now changing WWF. Some of the guys from 1984 were no longer there except only in archived matches such as David Schultz, Dick Murdoch and others. The Harts, Bulldogs, Steamboat and others were kicking off a new era with the Rock N Wrestling angle beginning to wind down. As for the tape itself, I give it 3.5 stars out of 5. The points off are for clipping the Bulldogs/Hart match to almost unbearable levels. The next tape after this is THE AMAZING MANAGERS so we’ll pick up there.

Rowdy Roddy Piper’s Greatest Hits (WF009)

Roddy Piper's Greatest Hits

ROWDY RODDY PIPER’S GREATEST HITS (WF009)

After BIGGEST, SMALLEST, STRANGEST, STRONGEST comes the profile tape of the one and only “Rowdy” Roddy Piper. A trend had started in World Class Championship Wrestling a few years prior of highlighting the heels as much as the babyfaces. The Fabulous Freebirds even got a legendary music video out of it. Over in the WWF, this would be the first time a major heel would get his own profile tape. After Hogan and Andre, the top bad guy was Roddy Piper and this would be highlighting his greatest hits I would imagine. Cue the 1985 opening montage before being welcomed by “Mean” Gene Okerlund who’s our host today. He brings up the 2 previous profile tapes (HULKAMANIA and ANDRE THE GIANT) and says this one’s different because he and Piper don’t get along (kayfabe). Gene complains about the title of this tape and runs him down. We are then shown a few still highlights of Piper before Gene sends us to our first Piper’s Pit.

Before I get started, talk shows in wrestling have been commonplace but the most prolific (and many consider to be the ONLY good one) was Piper’s Pit. There was Buddy’s Corner hosted by Buddy Rogers a few years earlier but other than Jimmy Snuka turning face, you had a general idea of what kind of a show it was. With Piper’s Pit you had no idea what was going to happen on the show. Would the babyface interviewed get beat up, would Piper get beat up, would he go nose to nose with a heel or support him, who knew? He was so entertaining on the mic that the show became a phenomenon and many tried to recreate it. There was Jake Roberts’ Snake Pit, Reo’s Roundup (Brother Love doing a Dusty Rhodes impersonation), Jerry Lawler’s King’s Court, Shawn Michaels’ Heartbreak Hotel, Dude Love’s Love Shack, Carlito’s Cabana, Chris Jericho’s Highlight Reel, Brutus Beefcake’s The Barber Shop, Edge’s The Cutting Edge, Christian’s The Peep Show, The Brother Love Show and on and on. Save for a few moments when Honky Tonk Man bashed Roberts in the head with a real guitar on Snake Pit and Shawn Michaels throwing Marty Jannetty through a window on The Barber Shop, nothing of real importance or excitement happened on these other shows. Meanwhile on Piper’s Pit, something new and exciting would happen every week. Our first one goes back to March 1984 with Piper interviewing Andre the Giant. Piper asks Andre where he comes from and Andre doesn’t answer. Piper asks if he speaks English and then asks very slowly where Andre comes from. Andre “Its none of your business.” Piper then apologizes and will try to ask easier questions then says Andre has a big body but teeny tiny brain. Piper asks Andre if John Studd slammed him and Andre answers “never”. Piper repeats the question and Andre fires back “Do you understand English or not, I already said no one time.” Piper gets heated and says he can slam Andre as the big guy gets up and grabs Piper by his shirt, lifting him off the ground. Piper tried to get his shirt off but Andre rips it off and throws him off the set before leaving. Piper goes beserk but the mic misses a portion of what he says. Piper then challenges Andre and says “YOU DO NOT THROW ROCKS AT A MAN WHO’S GOT A MACHINE GUN!” Mean Gene’s voiceover says after that incident, a confrontation would be inevitable and we’re sent to our first match.

 

Match 1

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper and “Dr D” David Schultz vs Andre The Giant and “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Pat Patterson

   March 20, 1984 in Madison Square Garden, a year and 11 days before Wrestlemania 1. The two top heels go after a formidable tag team to be honest. Why Andre and Snuka never got a run at Adonis/Murdoch or the Samoans I don’t know. Snuka and Schultz are in their normal gear while Piper dons the green tights and Andre in the red. We start out with Andre as Piper pats David and says go get em…hahahaha. A smiling Andre backs Schultz into the ropes and he begs off. After a TAPE EDIT, Piper tags in. Piper stalls to tease the crowd before tagging Schultz back in. David gets in a side headlock but gets sent off the ropes, Andre drops down and sticks his ass up. Schultz runs into it (like Muraco in BLOOPERS, BLEEPS AND BODYSLAMS) and crumples to the mat like he ran into a brick wall. Patterson jokes that Snuka is probably saying “What a great partner, I don’t have to do nothing.” Piper gets him on his feet and shouts more words of encouragement. Schultz then attacks Andre from behind and goes to work in the corner with punches and eye rakes. Piper screams for the tag and gets it before picking up where D left off. Piper throws more punches but Andre doesn’t sell any of them before delivering a big punch of his own that sends Piper flying backwards. Piper charges into the corner to throw more punches where another Andre punch sends him staggering into the ropes. Undaunted, Piper continues to unload in the corner before a giant headbutt spirals Piper into the corner where D tags back in. Schultz continues to attack in the corner with chops and axehandles but the big guy barely sells anything. Andre nails Schultz with a punch then whips David into the opposite corner. Andre charges and shoulderblocks his opponent in the corner. Andre goes for another shoulderblock but eats knee. David drops and elbow but the nonchalant cover gets 1. Dave goes for another elbow but Andre gets the boot up. Piper interferes and referee Dick Woehrle holds him back as Snuka gets in to chase him away. Unfortunately for Jimmy when Woehrle tells him to beat a hasty retreat, Piper slips on some brass knuckles and wallops the big guy. Schultz tags Piper back in who hides the knux and stomps away on the fallen giant. Andre is busted wide open as D tags in to continue the beating. Piper tags back in and he goes to work on the open wound.  The heels make frequent tags to pound on Andre as Monsoon goes nuts on commentary. We get a TAPE EDIT and now a group of EMT’s are tending to Andre on the ground. Is the match over? Nobody is saying a word even though Piper is sitting on the top turnbuckle with D next to him. Police offers and EMT’s get Andre to his feet and proceed to assist him to the back. Piper and D raise each other’s hands in victory but Snuka gets in and says he’ll take them both on to a huge pop from the crowd. Monsoon says it’s the referee’s decision and he circles the ring much to the crowd’s delight. Woehrle asks Piper if he’s down with that and he says yes. Piper and Snuka lock up and Roddy drops Jimmy with a shoulderblock. 2 leap frogs and a big dropkick by Snuka floors Piper. Snuka attacks Schultz in the corner and Piper as he comes over to complain. Jimmy chops Piper and unloads with right hands on the ground. Jimmy cuts off a charging Schultz then rams him into Piper. Snuka rams Piper’s head into the top turnbuckle. 2 jumping headbutts drop both the heels and  goes to inflict more damage on Schultz but Piper stops the momentum with an eye poke. Roddy delivers a headlocked punch as D finally makes it back to the apron. A TAPE EDIT now has Piper decking Snuka with a knee lift but Snuka powers out of the attempt. Schultz tags in to deliver a forearm to the fallen Snuka. A cover by Schultz gets a 2 count and Snuka begins to revive. The crowd pops as Andre lumbers back to ring sized all taped up like a mummy. Andre charges into the ring and rams D and Roddy’s heads together. A giant punch sends Roddy out of the ring and a giant boot drops D inside. The ref has lost complete control as Andre delivers another giant boot to the doctor. Piper climbs on the apron only to be chopped off by Snuka. Andre chops Schultz who ironically does the Andre tie up into the ropes. Andre goes to slingshot Jimmy into the heels but they bail to the back. Andre rumbles to the back to give chase as the bell rings. Howard Finkel gets on the mic and announces Piper and Schultz win by disqualification. Huh? Monsoon scoffs and Patterson tries to reason that Andre came back when he wasn’t supposed to. Either way some biker chicks in the front row nod in approval as Schultz and Piper get the duke. Now this would have been a big time main event on a pay per view but ppv wouldn’t be an option for another year and a half. Great drama in this one even if it wasn’t catch-as-catch can. The internet geeks can stick it because drama and emotion mean a hell of a lot more than triple frankensteiners into sunset flips. One last thing of note, for once WWF lagged behind WCW. The combination of Bob Orton, Roddy Piper, David Schultz and Paul Orndorff would tag together and go after the common enemy in Hulk Hogan. Doesn’t this sound similar to a certain group of 4 heels that didn’t like Dusty Rhodes a year later in Mid-Atlantic? Yup, WWF had their own 4 Horsemen with Piper playing the role of Ric Flair a year before Flair’s crew formed. Unfortunately Vince missed his chance to cash in on the first heel supergroup but that was good news for Crockett. What might have been huh?

 

Time of match: Joined in progress

Winners: Piper and Schultz by DQ

 

 Now for arguably the second most famous Piper’s Pit where he interviews preliminary jobber Frankie Williams. Piper asks here he’s from and Frankie answers Columbus, Ohio. Piper says he’s never lost a match there and asks if he’s ever lost a match. Frankie says “Yeah.” Piper claims he’s never lost a match his whole career and says he can’t comprehend losing because you lose your edge, then goes on to say Frankie is the opposite as he’s never seen the guy win a match. Piper says he lacks the guts, he’s a coward and he should be making pizzas but Frankie cuts him off in broken English saying he’s not a coward. Piper tries to calm him down but Frank has none of it and says he’s always inside the ring no matter what and he’s not afraid of anyone. Piper “Ya got no room for nobody but you’re a lousy wrestler, its as simple as that!” Frank “I may be a lousy wrestler but I’m still in there, I’m not afraid of nobody…ahhh!” At this point Piper gets up and knocks Williams out of his chair and to the ground. Piper hammers away as Vince McMahon scoffs on commentary. Piper beats him up and throws him off the set. He sticks his face in the camera “Just when they think they got the answers, I change the questions!”  Once again this shows that Piper’s Pit was must see tv because you had no idea what the crazy bastard would do next.

Now Gene sends us to one of the more famous segments that led to the first Wrestlemania. Gene talks over Vince wearing a hideous beige suit and Alfred in a 70’s tuxedo. We are shown backstage at War To Settle The Score and Piper is behind Mr. T. War to Settle The Score was the sequel to Brawl To End It All on MTV. While Brawl was Richter vs Moolah with Cindy Lauper involved, this was Hogan vs Piper in their first big time encounter. Piper creeps up behind Mr. T and says “I know its Mr. T because its written on the back of your chair and I’m assuming its there so you don’t get lost!” Mr T starts to rise and Piper continues “You guys portray bad guys on your show and I would know as I’m a bad guy in real life so how does it feel to be portraying guys like myself?” Mr T “Boy you ain’t nothing man.” Piper and T go back and forth arguing who’s real and who’s phony which is hilarious considering one’s a pro wrestler and the other is an actor. Not to say Piper’s not a tough guy as he’s a former golden gloves boxer but still. Mr T says Piper only fights wimps and Piper counters that the only wimp he knows is Dave Wolfe, Cindy Lauper’s manager. T complains that Piper beat up Lauper and Piper says he’s an equal opportunitist. He makes fun of T’s shaved head and Lauper’s dye job then says the children of America must be sick to look up to him. T snaps and gets in Piper’s face. T’s manager or bodyguard holds him back and Piper points a finger saying “Don’t you mess with me man!” We cut there and now we get to the actual match from War To Settle The Score.

 

Match 2

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper (with Bob Orton) vs Hulk Hogan (with Cindy Lauper, Dave Wolfe and Lou Albano) for the WWF Heavyweight Championship

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Gene Okerlund

   The War To Settle The Score, February 18, 1985 in Madison Square Garden. The second of the big MTV wrestling shows following Brawl To End It All. Basically it was an hour and a half long special on MTV centered around this one match where everyone from wrestlers to media personalities alike weighed in on the match. The heels backed Piper while guys like Danny Devito, Dee Snyder of Twisted Sister and babyfaces backed the Hulkster. Roddy Piper makes his grand entrance with a bagpipe band and “Cowboy” Bob Orton in tow with his arm in a sling. After getting injured recently before this match, Orton would go on a long legendary angle where he’d wear a cast on his arm. Piper is wearing a Hulkamania shirt and carrying an electric guitar. Howard Finkel gives way to NBC sports announcer Bob Costas to announce Hogan’s entrance. Piper smashes the guitar and berates the already irate crowd. The crowd heaves garbage at him as he does the I Love You sign. For this VHS tape we get some generic stock music as Cindy Lauper, Dave Wolfe, Captain Lou and Hogan make their entrance, in the actual MTV broadcast it was Eye of the Tiger. No idea why Vince paid royalties for WRESTLEMANIA to use Eye of the Tiger but not this tape. Mr T himself is sitting at ringside and he psyches up Hulk before he gets in the ring. They tear their entrance gear off and trade blows in the center of the ring to begin. Hogan gets the upper hand with an eye rake but Piper tackles him and lands more punches to the head. Hogan then rolls on top to deliver his own series of punches. On their feet, 2 big right hands sends Piper into the corner. Hogan whips Piper into the opposite corner and delivers a back elbow smash. Piper flops down and begs off before getting caught in a scoop slam. Hogan follows another scoop slam with a running elbow drop. Okerlund names all the celebs at ringside as Hogan bites Piper in the head. Roddy reverses a whip and clotheslines Hulk in the corner. Piper makes the cover but referee Dick Woehrle takes forever to make the count so Roddy only gets two. Piper gets a running stomp to the head then follows with another. Piper goes for a cover but only gets 2 as Gene bitches about a choke that wasn’t there. Piper double chops Hogan in the throat which sends the Hulkster down. Piper sends Hulk off and catches him with the sleeper! Piper has it synched in as again Gene and Gorilla bitches about a chokehold. Hulk does the fade then revive routine and Hulks Up. Gene makes spaz noises as Hogan runs to the corner, ducks and rams Roddy’s head off the top turnbuckle. Piper attacks with an axehandle to the head and an eye rake. Roddy chokes Hogan on the top rope and when Woehrle pulls him off, Orton takes over from the outside. Hogan grabs Orton by the hair, grabs the injured arm and rams it off the steel ringpost. Piper turns around into a right hand and a series of left jabs. A big right hand decks Piper and he begs off. They trade eye rakes before Hogan nails Piper with a clothesline. “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff makes his appearance to take Orton’s place apparently. Hogan executes an atomic drop and another right hand. Hogan goes for another atomic drop but Piper counters with a forearm to the head that knocks Hogan into Woehrle. Dick is out cold and Piper takes advantage by holding Hogan down for Orndorff to jump off the top with a kneedrop. Piper and Orndorff stomp away at Hogan before Piper notices Lauper on the apron. Orndorff continues to attack, ignoring Piper trying to stop him.  Finally Hot Rod gets Orndorff’s attention and they slowly stalk Cindy. Piper knocks Cindy’s hat off as Mr T hops the railing to save the day. T gets Cindy out of there as Piper taunts him. Piper challenges him to step in the ring and he does. Gene “I don’t know his background as a wrestler” Monsoon “He doesn’t belong in there Gene”. Taken from the guy who put Muhammad Ali in an airplane spin, he’d know. T enters the ring but Orndorff grabs his foot from the outside allowing Piper to knock him down with a clothesline. Piper and Orndorff put the boots to Mr T as Hogan finally wakes up. The champ Hulks Up as Mr T gets to his feet and they chase Orndorff and Piper out of the ring. Orton returns and the 3 heels are restrained by NYC police officers from getting back in the ring. Pandemonium ensues as security guards and police officers alike  try to separate the two factions. The heels finally retreat as Hulk and T shake hands. Howard Finkel gets on the mic: “Ladies and gentleme….: Hogan cuts him off “PIPER! ORNDORFF! GET YOUR BUTTS BACK IN HERE!” Fink “Ladies and gentleman, the winner of this bout as a result of a disqualification, HULK HOGAN!” We cut the segment here, well that was interesting wasn’t it? Pretty much the first Wrestlemania began with this match. In the live event, the next 15-20 minutes centered around backstage interviews so for this tape, better to cut now. The match itself was high impact intensity just like the first one with very little mat wrestling.

 

Time of match: Never given

Winner: Hulk Hogan by DQ (still WWF champion)

 

Now for one of the best done Piper’s Pits of all time. Roddy Piper in a suit and tie is by himself on the set. He starts by ranting about how stupid Hogan, Albano, Lauper and Andre are and now he needs someone with intelligence. He then hypes up his guest as the greatest wrestler of all time and introduces….”Rowdy” Roddy Piper. Thanks to a great editing job, Piper will be interviewing himself. You can’t even tell its fake actually. Guest Piper is wearing his standard Hot Rod t-shirt and kilt. He sits down with his legs spread and luckily he’s wearing his blue wrestling tights underneath. He pushes his kilt down and says “Sorry grandma.” Host Piper  “It’s a pleasure to have you here.” Guest Piper “Especially the bathtub.” Host Piper asks if he’d ever thought he’d have this kind of success growing up and Guest Piper says of course. Host Piper asks if he had any idols or mentors growing up, Guest Piper answers Frank Zappa. He says he didn’t have any real idols or mentors because there’s nobody better than him at anything. Host Piper asks if he has any special diets and Guest Piper answers frog legs. Host Piper says he’s got a letter here from Hulk Hogan’s mom and Guest Piper says “Asking for money again?” Host “Dear Mr. Roddy Piper, please would you stop beating up my son. Spelled s-o-o-n. He wakes up in the morning screaming your name. Spelled n-a-m. Would you please leave my son alone as it makes him look very bad, him crying and holding on to my ankles. Being as he’s the world’s champion.” Guest Piper “Why didn’t Mrs Hogan teach her son the same kind of honesty that she has? She was walking down 42nd street the other day with the rest of the bag ladies.” He also says Hogan has roots except for the front of his head where there are none. Host Piper asks if Guest Piper ever had any disappointments and Guest answers his dog got run over when he was 6 and sarcastically says “yeah that really hurt my career.” Other than that he says, he’s the cats ass. Yes, those were his words. Host Piper asks how he copes with all the women chasing him around and Guest Piper answers he’s got a 12 foot bullwhip and he uses it when they want to leave. “What does it say on my t-shirt? It doesn’t say Dumb-rod…it doesn’t say limp-rod…it says HOT Rod.” Host Piper asks if Guest Piper will do any feature films and Guest answers the morons in Hollywood are trying to keep him out. “When Eastwood shoots a gun, someone gets killed. When I shoot a gun, someone gets pregnant.” Edgy stuff for 1984-85 I must say. Ironic as he’d leave the business 2 years later to act in movies. Piper breaks the 4th wall and talks to the audience saying they paid good money for this tape and they’re getting their money’s worth. Guest Piper says it pisses him off (again edgy for 85 standards) that other people are successful because of him. Guest Piper says if you’re having trouble getting your wife pregnant then get her a candlelit dinner, warm the bed up nice and then give him a call. Host Piper says its been a true pleasure but time’s up, Guest complains saying its his tape. Guest Piper says Host Piper is the only man he’d never fight as we cut there. Pretty revolutionary for the time period and it makes sense. Piper was booked as this complete asshole and the only one who could interview him was himself really. Nowadays when someone plays a heel, its carved into fans heads that he’s only playing a character. Back then fans really felt like Piper was a grade A quality dick, and business was better because of that.

Mean Gene takes us back to just before Wrestlemania where Piper and Orndorff are training for the big match at Mid-City Health Club For Men (name was changed later for political reasons to Mid-City Gym). Piper is in a full sweatsuit while Orndorff is in just workout shorts and sneakers, both are sitting against the wall with Orton in full cowboy mode standing by. Okerlund asks what they’re doing and Orton says they’re meditating. Okerlund gets down to ask Piper what he’s doing and Roddy just hisses at him. He goes to Orndorff next but he’s not moving either. Orton then wakes them up and they get mad at the sight of Okerlund. Orndorff says he has no business being there as Okerlund tries to save face by saying its his job. We cut to a different room where Orndorff is powerlifting a barbell. Okerlund tries to narrate but Piper tells him to get lost. Okerlund asks Orton to be the voice of reason (ironic) and Bob says its supposed to be a closed workout. Orton shills Orndorff’s lifting skills.  Gene says he’s impressed and Orndorff scoffs at him. Then he and Piper grab weight lifting belts and stalk Okerlund with them. Paul “We told you not to come”. Next we see Okerlund getting the heave-ho courtesy of Orton and Orndorff. A bystander tries to help Gene and he gets attacked by the two as Piper stands by laughing. A few bystanders laugh at the proceedings and one shouts “He’s a stuntman!” Gotta love how in New York fans knew it was part of the show, meanwhile in Louisiana the Midnight Express would get knives pulled on them if they were shooting something similar.

Now we fast-forward after Wrestlemania to a TNT segment where Orton and Piper visit the doctor. Yes of course I’m serious. Vince McMahon in a light pink suit with “Doc Stevens” as Piper and Orton enter. Piper is in full wrestling gear while Orton is dressed casual. I know this is just a set on a tv show but can you imagine in real life going to a legitimate doctor dressed like Piper is? Yes he’s got the t-shirt and kilt on, but still. Doctor Stevens looks at an x-ray of Orton’s original injury and says the bones didn’t break the skin when the compound fracture happened so they should be healed by now. Orton claims the arm still hurts while the doc looks at a brand new x-ray. He says the arm is completely healed as Piper leans in for a closer look. Piper “That ain’t his x-ray! Look at the length of the arm, his arm don’t look good like that.”  Vince then asks the doctor to check out Orton’s arm right here on the spot and Orton tries to protest. Orton lies down and Piper protests that “Why does he gotta lie down if you’re only checking his arm?” The doc wants to test some things and he hits the bottom of his elbow to test reflexes. Orton reacts too early and the doc is now convinced he’s fine. The doc says there’s nothing wrong with him as Piper starts quacking, causing Orton to laugh. Piper does it louder while the doc tries to talk which causes Vince to laugh himself. Once again proof that nobody takes anything seriously on the show. Vince tries to narrate the ending but everyone talks over each other M*A*S*H style. Now that was funny on Piper’s part.

We can’t have a greatest hits tape without the most famous Piper’s Pit segment could we? Of course it’s the one with Jimmy Snuka. Its basically the same clip from BEST OF THE WWF VOLUME 1 so I’ll just re-post. We’re at the part where Piper tells Snuka to put the microphone in Jimmy’s little greasy paws. Piper then says he’s going to make Jimmy feel at home, he picks up a pineapple from a brown paper bag. My favorite line “This pineapple is like the women from the Fiji Islands, long busty hair on top, round on the bottom.” Piper then pulls out a bunch of bananas and taunts Snuka with them. Piper with coconuts: “Here we go….one coconuttttt….two coconuttttttt…four coconutttts, ya wanna be a big shot? Ya know what, the only thing I didn’t get. I didn’t get a tree for you to climb up and down like a monkey, like ya wanna do. You want to be a big shot, I’ll get you a tree next time!” He then throws a banana in Snuka’s face and finally Jimmy speaks, softly. “Are you making fun of me?” Piper: “Am I making fun of you? No sir! No Sir!” At this point Piper smashes a coconut over Snuka’s head that sends him sprawling into the cheap Piper’s Pit set, knocking it down. Piper grabs a banana, kicks the set off Snuka and begins rubbing it in his face. Piper gets another banana, spits at him, then rubs another one in his face. Piper then takes his belt off and whacks Snuka in the back as a little box in the corner with a smiling Piper is shown. This must be the TNT replay of the incident rather than the actual broadcast. Piper keeps whipping Snuka repeatedly and taunting him to get up. Finally Snuka gets to his feet, screams in rage and chases Piper behind a locked door. Snuka pounds on the door but can’t get it open as Tito Santana and 2 others pry him away.

Now we cut to the TNT program where Piper was watching himself beat up Snuka. Vince is wearing a beige suit, Piper his normal kilt/shirt and Alfred in a hideous beige 70’s tux. Vince says it was a disgusting display and Piper cuts him off and says “I’m the legend destroyer”. 20 years before his bodyguard’s son became the legend killer. McMahon bitches that Roddy never gave Snuka a chance to speak and Piper points to Alfred and says Snuka is a bumbling idiot that doesn’t say anything like Alfred here. Piper says Snuka was lucky he didn’t get beat up more and he destroyed the legend. “I don’t care what you say (points to Vince) and I don’t care what you say (points to Alfred).” Alfred softly chimes in “I say this man without dignity. He adds nothing to the program.” Piper gets steaming mad and slaps Alfred across the face before storming off the set. Shocking how Vince didn’t have Alfred manage Snuka for the inevitable match but a match was in store. Let’s get to it.

 

Match 3

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper vs “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka

Commentators: Gene Okerlund and Alfred Hays

 May 25, 1984 deep in the heart of St. Louis (idiot Okerlund says we’re in Minneapolis but we’re not) in the Kiel Auditorium saw these two battle it out. To add the venue, former St. Louis wrestling legend Lou Thesz would be the special guest referee. It was due to the NWA refusing to take the world title off of Thesz which spawned not only the WWWF (Vince Sr wanted Buddy Rogers as NWA champ) but the AWA as well as Verne Gagne wanted his turn with the NWA belt but never got it. In BEST OF THE WWF VOLUME 1, Snuka vs Piper took place in August so this match on this tape predates that one. Snuka enters wearing a red robe but sheds it outside before entering, Piper removes his kilt to reveal the blue trunks. Thesz tries to keep them apart but Roddy attacks before the bell.  Piper punches him around the ring before ramming his head into the buckle. A right hand drops the Superfly before a double-chop to the ear disorients Jimmy, Piper gets in another right hand but Snuka rallies in the corner with kicks and a chop. Snuka chases Piper around the ring and he bails, much to the chagrin of the irate crowd. Roddy calls for timeout but Lou tells him to get back in. Back inside Snuka chops the Hot Rod until he begs off. He chokes him in the corner but when Thesz tries to pull him away, Piper gets in a knee to the gonads. Thesz threatens to disqualify Piper but the match continues. Roddy gets an inverted atomic drop then does the “I love you” sign to a chorus of boos. A knee lift drops Snuka and the cover only gets a 1. Piper complains about the count allowing Snuka to block a right hand and land one of his own. A chop and a right hand send Piper to the outside. This time Snuka follows only for Piper to grab a steel chair and nail him in the back. Thesz doesn’t DQ Piper and Hot Rod kicks away before getting back in the ring.  Piper continuously breaks up Lou’s attempt to count Snuka out so Thesz finally shoves Roddy away. Piper leans through the ropes and rams Jimmy’s head into the ring. Back inside a shoulder block drops Snuka but then Jimmy goes through his offense (2 leapfrogs and big chop) that sends Piper flying out of the ring. Snuka follows and rams Piper’s head into the ring bell. Jimmy grabs a chair and nails Piper in the head with it with no DQ called. Back inside Piper begs off but Snuka gets in a right hand and a jumping headbutt. Snuka goes for the running headbutt but Piper pulls Thesz in the way at the last second. Lou goes down but Snuka rallies with a chop and a backbreaker. Snuka goes up to the top rope and hits a flying crossbody. He goes back upstairs but Piper rolls on top of Lou. Piper rakes the eyes of Jimmy then takes Lou’s belt off. Roddy whips Snuka with the belt then chokes him with it until Thesz pries him off. Piper and Lou go nose to nose but Lou backs off, allowing Piper to clock him. Snuka grabs the belt and pelts Roddy with it with Thesz threatening to get a few shots in as well. Piper bails to the outside and heads for the hills. Thesz counts Roddy out and Snuka wins it. Fink announces Snuka the winner as Lou raises his hand in victory. Never thought I’d see Lou Thesz in a WWF ring but here he was. We go to the instant replay where Piper throws Thesz into Snuka’s running headbutt. Okerlund says “Piper pulling every bag out of his bag of tricks”….wow he’s worse than Alfred. Great, intense match with non-stop action actually.

 

Time of match: 6:53

Winner: Jimmy Snuka by count-out

 

Next we cut to a Roddy Piper promo where he’s holding a manila envelope. He says he’s going to read a letter, “Dear Mr Piper, I’m writing to ask your forgiveness for the actions of Jimmy Snuka. Please do not beat him up anymore as he’s a great man and he’s hurt. Sometimes he cries at night, I know, I can hear him. You see, he’s my dad. I love him very much, please don’t hurt him anymore.” He then crumples the letter and spits but Mean Gene cuts us off before Piper can finish the promo….what the hell? By the way, this was all a sham but if Jimmy’s 13 year old son really did write that letter, why didn’t the future Deuce beat the crap out of Piper whenever the legends were on Raw or Smackdown? Then again most younger fans would have been wondering why Deuce and Domino are beating up Piper and virtually none of them would have seen this segment.

Along the line, Piper “injured” Snuka and it opened the door for 19 year old Tonga Kid to get his first big push. Btw, Tonga Kid is the real life twin brother of Rikishi (although they are not identical) but he was billed as Snuka’s cousin. We go now to Piper’s Pit where Piper interviews the Kid and Roddy is wearing a t-shirt that says “Legend Killer” written on the back, he had Randy Orton beat by 20 years. Piper runs him down saying he’s wearing a “silly little skirt” and asks him why he’d wear one. Tonga lifts up Piper’s kilt and says “Well its obvious why you wear yours.” Oh snap! He cuts a promo saying just because Piper beat Jimmy doesn’t mean he can go through him. Piper counters saying he can and Tonga says “You broke Jimmy’s neck because you got lucky, why don’t you try and break my neck?” Tonga challenges him but Piper nonchalantly walks off as Tonga says he doesn’t impress anyone. The segment cuts here though and the match would be next. Before we go any further its time to play Six Degrees. After Piper was done with Snuka, he would face Tonga Kid. After he was done with him, he’d become number 1 heel by going after Cindy Lauper, Captain Lou, Mr T and Hogan. 2 years later he’d be in the movie Body Slam teaming WITH Tonga Kid while being managed by Dirk Bennedict, who played Faceman on A-Team which also starred Mr. T. Guess who was managing the heel tag team in the movie, Captain Lou Albano. Unrelated but The Barbarian/Headshrinker Sione and Teijho Khan (of Paul Jones’ Army fame) were the heel tag team in the movie. Funny how things work out in the wrestling business, let’s get to the match.

 

Match 4

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper vs The Tonga Kid (with Jimmy Snuka)

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and ???

    December 1, 1984 in the Philadelphia Spectrum saw Piper go it alone against Tonga (No Schultz, Orton or Orndorff…weird) . Snuka is wearing a yellow jumpsuit with Tonga Kid written on the back. Tonga himself is wearing zebra striped trunks and is barefoot. The bell rings and Piper charges quckly but goes knee first into the corner. They trade blows in the center of the ring before Tonga gets the advantage with a jumping headbutt. Jesus can’t he do something original? Its like watching a Jimmy Snuka match so far. Piper tries to bail but Tonga catches him and pulls him back in over the top rope by the hair. Monsoon’s color man keeps screaming wooooo like he’s Ric Flair the whole match. 2 headbutts and a right hand send Piper staggering into Snuka’s corner where he freezes, allowing Tonga to bring him back in. Piper begs off before getting a thumb to the eye. A right hand floors Tonga and Piper executes a backbreaker. The first cover of the match gets a long 2 count as Piper goes back to a right hand. Tonga inexplicably gets up and starts moonwalking before rallying with right hands. A side headlock attempt is thwarted by a Piper back suplex. Piper follows with a blatant choke and rakes him  off the top rope in front of Jimmy. Piper spits at Snuka  and nails Tonga with a right hand. A double chop to the ears stuns Tonga and Piper gets in a front headlock. A TAPE EDIT now shows Tonga powering out of it. Tonga gets a snap suplex on Piper and nails him in the ribs with a punch. Piper rams Tonga into the top turnbuckle and he no-sells it (just like his twin brother would do for 20 years). Tonga no sells it and moonwalks away. Piper tries to bail but Tonga catches him. More right hands follow that send Piper through the ropes and to the outside. Again, add in the leapfrogs and big chop and this is like watching a Snuka match. Piper pulls Tonga under the bottom rope as a popcorn vendor strolls by. Piper sends Tonga into the ring post and whacks him with a steel chair. Snuka comes over to investigate and Piper runs away. When Snuka turns his back Piper runs over and nails him. Piper tosses Tonga back inside but Snuka leaps over the top rope and stalks Piper. They trade blows as referee Joey Marella just stands there watching. All of a sudden Bob Orton Jr runs-in and evens the odds. Marella calls for the bell as a brawl ensues. Piper and Orton drop Tonga but Snuka rallies. Tonga revives and the babyfaces clean house, chasing Piper away. Ring announcer Mel Phillips (wearing an absolutely awful blue 70’s tuxedo) announces the match a draw. A high impact 5 minutes that set the tone for the next (and final) match on the tape. Tonga looked like a cheap Snuka knockoff here which is probably why he would be released shortly after this angle would complete. The word on the street was the big payoffs he was getting from working with Piper went to his 19 year old head and had to be fired to be taught a lesson in humility. Not sure if that’s true but it would make sense as he would resurface in 1987 as Tama the Islander, nowhere near the top of the card as he was in 1984.

 

Time of match: 5:12

Winner: No one (Double DQ)

 

Match 5

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper and “Cowboy” Bob Orton vs “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka and The Tonga Kid

Commentators: Gene Okerlund and Gorilla Monsoon.

  Madison Square Garden, December 28. 1984 exactly 4 weeks after the last match took place. The heels enter first with Snuka and Tonga in matching red samoan entrance gear following shortly after. The faces rush the ring and clear out not only Piper and Orton but Howard Finkel as well before he’s finished the introductions. Tonga’s in the pink tights as Jimmy’s not in his standard leopard print trunks but rather multicolored trunks. Piper’s in his standard blue with Orton in the red trunks. A brawl develops as the bell rings with the faces getting the upper hand. Tonga and Snuka whip Piper and Orton together. Orton goes down but Piper stays on his feet. A jumping headbutt by Jimmy floors Piper and Orton walks into a jumping headbutt by Tonga. Orton clears and Tonga gets in a wristlock on Piper (big improvement over the first match). Piper begs off as Tonga really synchs it in. Piper sends Tonga off who somersaults under a back elbow from Piper and catches him with a crossbody for 1..2….no. Tonga armdrags Piper and locks in the armbar before dropping a leg on him. Nice to see some actual wrestling ability in here. Snuka taunts Piper from the outside but Roddy overpowers Tonga and tags in Orton. Bob eats a few armdrags but nails the rookie with a right hand. Tonga reverses an irish whip and sends Orton off the corner where Cowboy runs into a powerslam. The cover only gets a one count as Snuka tags in. Jimmy goes to work on the left arm and shoulder as 2 big right hands from Orton do nothing, Snuka no-sells. A third right hand also does nothing as Snuka counters with a headbutt. Another arm ringer is synched in and Piper tries to short arm the tag only for Orton to make it to the corner, reluctantly putting Piper in the match. Piper wants no part of Snuka at first but then they trade punches in the center of the ring. Snuka gets in a chop and a headbutt that decks Piper and a rushing Orton gets scoop slammed for his interference. Snuka one arm slams Piper then drops a fist on him. Piper begs off and tries to escape but Snuka brings him back in. Snuka gets in a right hand but Piper goes to the stooges eye poke to stop the momentum. Roddy staggers over and makes the tag to Orton. Bob gets a few elbows to the back of the head in his slow, methodical style. A bolo punch is followed by a scoop slam. Orton goes to the top rope to attempt a Vader bomb but Snuka gets the knees up in time. Orton makes the tag to Piper as Tonga gets the hot tag as well. Tonga rallies with right hands and a headbutt before finishing with a savate kick (finally something new). Piper begs off but shoulderblocks Tonga into his corner where he and Orton doubleteam the kid. Orton tags in and baits Snuka, allowing for Piper to choke Tonga in the corner with the tag rope.  Orton lands a right hand then tags in Piper where they execute a double clothesline. Piper taunts Snuka before faking a tag to allow Orton to come off the top with a forearm to the back. Orton measures him for an elbow to the face…wham!  Piper makes the tag and applies a hammerlock. The heels make frequent tags to unload on the left arm of Tonga. The crowd starts heaving garbage at the ring with Piper and Orton continuing to work over the left arm. Finally Tonga nearly breaks free but Orton cuts off his partner when he nails Snuka off the apron. Piper drops Tonga with a thrust to the throat and covers 1,,2,,,no, the arrogant cover gets 2. Piper goes to the rear chinlock as Okerlund and Monsoon overhype Tonga as totally improved since he first started a year earlier. Monsoon says he’s done it all in the last 10 months….even though he’s yet to win a single title belt. Compare that to Diesel who won the IC, Tag and World title within a 6 month period from May-November 1994. Tonga begins to power out of it as a marquee reads “Ice Capades”. Monsoon “Piper almost terminated the career of Snuka, I want to see him get his upcoming.” Okerlund “Comeuppance” Monsoon “Whatever.” Piper rams Tonga into Orton’s elbow then chops him in the throat again. Orton tags in, Piper holds Tonga and Bob comes off the top with a forearm to the face. Orton taunts Snuka but runs into a sunset flip for 1..2…NOOO. Orton quickly targets the forehead of Tonga with right hands, Orton rams the back of Tonga’s head into the mat and covers for a deuce when Snuka interferes and breaks up the count. Piper phantom tags himself in only for Tonga to counter a backdrop attempt by kicking Roddy in the face. Tonga stumbles into the wrong corner where Orton cuts him off. Tonga rallies with right hands, slips under the legs of Orton and gets the hot tag to Snuka. Jimmy cleans house with a double noggin knocker and big chops. Snuka fends off both Piper and Orton but shoves the referee as well. Snuka sends Orton upside down in the corner and makes the cover. Tonga intercepts Piper 1…..2..nope. For some reason the referee abandoned the count when Tonga interfered. All four men go at it as Piper shoves down the ref this time. Piper backdrops Tonga over the top and out as Orton goes for the superplex. Piper catches a breather on the second rope as Snuka headbutts Orton off. Snuka catches Bob with a crossbody for 1…2..nope, Piper breaks up the count. Orton and Piper throw Snuka over the top rope as Tonga takes his place. The referee is like a deer caught in the headlights, doesn’t know what to do. Orton goes upstairs but Snuka shoves him off into Piper. The faces run into each other outside the ring and Superfly goes into beast mode. Another brawl develops in the ring and Snuka tosses him down. He signals for the bell and this one’s over. Snuka cleans house of the heels and the tape ends right then and there. Kind of a crappy tag match but again, this was to showcase Piper’s crew and it served its purpose.

 

Time of match: 15:14

Winners: No one (Double DQ)

  The credits roll and we’re done with this one. Time for the previews: BEST OF THE WWF VOLUME 4, THE AMAZING MANAGERS and WRESTLING’S COUNTRY BOYS. What a revolutionary tape. Sure the Fabulous Freebirds were the first cool heels but Piper had Ric Flair beat by a solid year as top heel in wrestling. His Piper’s Pits were legendary and he refused to job to anyone, making him just as big of an egomaniac as Hogan. Still, for a tape that’s titled GREATEST HITS, it delivered. Piper was entertaining in nearly everything he did and Vince McMahon was a few marketing ideas away from creating the first 4 Horsemen in Piper, Schultz, Orndorff and Orton. Still, I give this tape 4.5 stars out of 5 and the .5 comes from the fact the matches are rather low quality. Important matches yes but not the best in ring work I’ve seen from the time period. This is a must see for every wrestling fan to show how over heels could and should be without looking like clowns. The next tape after this is BEST OF THE WWF VOLUME 3 so pick that one up next.

Biggest, Smallest, Strangest, Strongest (WF008)

Biggest Smallest

WWF’S BIGGEST, SMALLEST, STRANGEST, STRONGEST (WF008)

 

 After BEST OF THE WWF #2 comes BIGGEST, SMALLEST, STRANGEST, STRONGEST which apparently is highlighting the big guys, the small guys, the weirdos and the Herculeans. This is just a guess but since this is 4 tapes after WRESTLEMANIA (March) and a few before THE WRESTLING CLASSIC (November), I’d say this tape came out in the summer of 1985. What was setting the WWF apart at this point in time were tapes like this. Classic promoters like Verne Gagne and Jim Crockett kept their business old school with attention on their main stars meanwhile down in Texas, World Class was scoring by filming vignettes and highlighting even the midcarders in an attempt to get them over. Even though Hulk Hogan was the champion and Greg “The Hammer” Valentine was the IC Champion, this tape is highlighting a lot of other guys who’d never dethrone Hogan (or Valentine for that matter) or draw money in main event slots. Vince was also aware that the exposure these guys would get would stir interest in the product and with that, away we go. Cue the 1985 awesome intro and then to our host Jesse “The Body” Ventura. Ventura says WWF is getting smart by having him host this tape after he hosted MOST UNUSUAL MATCHES. Ventura shows us a highlight package of what we’re going to see before sending us to our first match between Andre and Samu…highlighting the biggest and the strangest first apparently.

 

Our first match is apparently some time in 1983 which means Samu is either 20 years old or about to turn it. The Wild Samoans Afa and Sika were the current tag team champions but Sika got hurt and his replacement was Afa’s son Samu (using the Freebird rule). Now Samu may look young at 20 but he had been performing for 6 years prior under the guidance of his father and uncle so he’s no rookie. Samu is hesitant to lock up with Andre (who’s wearing the red tights today). Vince says Andre is the only undefeated wrestler today (which turned into the greatest moneymaking angle ever 4 years later) as they finally lock up. Andre heaves Samu in the corner before a scared looking Samu goes to lock up again. Andre applies an armbar until Samu makes it to the ropes. Okerlund finally joins in on commentary as Samu tries a go-behind. Andre uses his girth to power out of it as Samu flies backwards in slow motion. Then the segment ends right there….so this tape is like that huh, no full matches just highlights? Ventura sends us to our next one.

 

The next highlighted match is the September 21, 1964 match between 40 year old Bobo Brazil and 46 year old Freddie Blassie covered in Best of WWF Volume 2. Ventura makes a historical perspective saying back in the 50’s the billed 6 foot 8 (real life 6’6) Brazil was a giant of a man compared to other wrestlers of that era. Nowadays with Kevin Nash, Great Khali, Giant Gonzalez, Big Show and even Andre the 6’8 Brazil doesn’t sound too intimidating but back then he most certainly was. Brazil was also known as the Jackie Robinson of wrestling which paved the way for black wrestlers such as Bearcat Wright, Ernie Ladd and in modern times Booker T and Kofi Kingston. The segment just has a few eye gouges from Brazil and its nothing special, I’d have much rather seen Blassie bite him or Brazil’s manager James Dudley wave his towel around.

 

Ventura then sends us to our next big and strange wrestler, the legendary Haystacks Calhoun. Calhoun was one of the first successful Hillbilly gimmicks and he was one of the biggest men ever by tipping the scales at over 600 pounds. He was billed at 6’4 but was really 6’1 but he damn well looked 6’4. The first highlight is the 6 man tag match already covered in MOST UNUSUAL MATCHES. Calhoun chases Strong Kobayashi and Moose Monroe around the ring as Peter Maivia and Larry Zybysko, Butcher Vachon tries to interfere when Monroe locked in a full nelson but retreats quickly.

 

Cut to a highlight package of “The Big Cat” Ernie Ladd. The first NFL player (but not the last) to successfully cross-over into pro wrestling. Ladd was a monstrosity in the NFL at 6’9 and over 300 pounds in the 60’s and 70’s. He’d fit right in almost 50 years later NOW in the NFL. He’s shown here beating the crap of legendary jobber Frankie Williams and some other enhancement talent I don’t recognize. Oh and The Grand Wizard of wrestling is patrolling outside the ring for his protege Ladd. For those who don’t know….combine Pat Patterson with Jim Cornette’s outfits and Bobby Heenan’s wit and you have an idea what Wizard was like. Very flamboyant, very homosexual and one of the greatest managers to ever set foot in the business.

 

We now cut to even older footage of “The Russian Bear” Ivan Koloff. Ventura explains being big doesn’t always mean really tall as the 5’10 Koloff proved. Koloff
gained exposure when he defeated Bruno Sammartino for the WWWF Championship on January 18, 1971 ending the near 8 year reign of Bruno. However, he was only a transitional champion as Vince McMahon Sr wanted to take the belt off the Italian Bruno and put it on another international superstar Pedro Morales of Puerto Rico. Koloff is shown here beating up a jobber with his massive arms.

 

Cut to a familiar face, Gorilla Monsoon. Monsoon was one of the top super heavyweights of his era, although he was primarily used to enhance the midcard heels to star status in order to meet the babyface champion (Morales or Sammartino). Modern day equivalents are Jake Roberts, John Morrison and anyone in WCW from 95-98 with the exception of Goldberg. He’s shown here headlocking The Wolfman during their 1971 match before chopping him down. A big splash gets a 3 as Ventura called it the Manchurian Landslide.

 

Now for a more familiar setting, Piper’s Pit with Piper being backed into a corner by SD Jones and Blackjack Mulligan. Ventura bills Mulligan at 6’9 (which is bullshit because he’s just a few inches taller than Roddy Piper who’s no more than 6’2) and we cut to Piper trash talking him. Piper “If you think you can intimidate me, you’re full of bologna like every other Texan I ever met!” Mulligan calls him horse manure before the segment cuts out. What gives? That looked to be fun. Oh well, on with the show.

 

Hulk Hogan finally makes his appearance in the next segment which highlights “Big” John Studd. Ventura bills Studd at 6’10 350 pounds (more BS as he’s 6’7 in reality) and tries to bail out the fact they’re the same height by saying that Hogan is shorter (he’s not) but is more defined (now that’s true) which apparently makes him bigger than Studd. Jesse can’t resist taking a shot at the champ and calls him “The Incredible Chump Hogan”. Monsoon is on commentary with Howard Finkel of all people. Studd pounds away at Hogan until they do the force meeting object routine. They try to slam each other to no avail before Hogan ducks under a big elbow with one of his own. Hogan rallies with punches before delivering THE BIG BOOT! Hogan goes for a slam but can’t lift him as the segment cuts.

 

On to Nikolai Volkoff who was one of the legitimate freakishly strong men of his era. We are shown a highlight of Volkoff executing a backbreaker on 280 pound Joe something (which is in 1985 Montage that I love so much) and getting the pin as an ecastic Iron Sheik looks on.

 

King Kong Bundy makes an appearance taking on future suit brigade member Tony Garea on June 21, 1985. Bundy beats the crap out of Garea as Monsoon says he weighed 440 at his heaviest and Bundy is close to 500. In a classic formula, they were building up Bundy as a monster only to have Hogan eventually beat him and then never gave a damn what happened to him after. Bundy floors Garea with a series of shoulderblocks as the segment ends.

 

On to the strange ones as Hillbilly Jim gets some screen time.  Ventura actually hypes up the upcoming WRESTLING’S COUNTRY BOYS tape in saying Jim will be highlighted more on that one. On here Jim is taking on another future suit brigade member Renee Goulet who was in the process of experimenting with a Michael Jackson type heel turn that didn’t get over and apparently bored the living crap out of Bret Hart. Jim brawls with Goulet as Monsoon and Okerlund hype him up on commentary. Hillbilly Jim lands a headbutt that sends Goulet flopping himself on the top rope. Jim delivers another headbutt that sends Goulet crashing to the mat. Goulet “Flair Flips” into the corner then runs upstairs only to get caught in a bearhug upon jumping. Goulet submits as Jim is announced the winner.

 

Back to Piper’s Pit as Jim rants and raves about Piper as “Cowboy” Bob Orton looks on. Jim says he’s got a surprise for Piper and introduces Uncle Elmer. The veteran Stan Frazier was hired to form a stable with Jim and “Cousin Luke” and Jim’s a big dude but Elmer towers over everyone. Piper pulls a classic heel move by back pedaling “Wellllll any friend of yours is a friend of mine” but Elmer sees right through him and says “Get yo hands off of me boy!” Elmer was a legitimate 6 foot 10 and weighed well over 400 pounds. Unfortunately by 1985 he was 47 years old and nearing the end of his career. Still, he had his moments by getting married on live TV and having an entertaining match with Adrian Adonis at Wrestlemania 2.

 

From the biggest and strangest to the smallest as we head for the midget matches. We got Ivan the Terrible and Billy The Kid taking on Tiny Tom and Butch Cassidy on August 27, 1979……wouldn’t Cassidy and Billy have made a better team? Anyway Ventura says that just because they’re midgets doesn’t mean they’re not good wrestlers. He’s not kidding, Ivan The Terrible is built like Ivan Koloff on a smaller frame and Butch Cassidy is the spitting image of a fun sized Kevin Von Erich. Ventura says the midgets are the smallest and also the fastest as well as Ivan chases his own partner around the ring.

 

Onto a more familiar faces, Tiger Jackson (known more famously as Dink The Clown) teams up with The Haiti Kid to take on Pancho Boy and Dana Carpenter on February 14, 1984. I already mentioned Tiger was Dink the Clown and we all know the exploits of Haiti Kid in the WWF (managing Mr. T and getting his head shaved by the nefarious Piper and Orton). No idea who Pancho Boy is apart from the pornstache but Dana Carpenter was trained by Killer Kowalski and was later a police officer in Holbrook, MA until his death in 2009. Haiti Kid headlocks Pancho and shoulderblocks him down twice. Standard midget tactics with Tiger and Dana stealing the show. I’d have to say the midget matches have been entertaining segments.

 

Now for the most famous of the midgets, Sky Low Low teams up with the before-mentioned Cassidy to take on Little Beaver and Sonny Boy Hayes on November 22, 1982. Beaver and Low Low revolutionized midget wrestling in the 60’s and 70’s until Beaver’s real life brother Tiger Jackson and Little Louie came along. Little Beaver is sporting an Iron Sheik like gut as he demonstrates to the ref what his partner did NOT do and then punches the ref in the nose. Vince makes a lame joke as we get more standard midget action which confuses the crap out of McMahon on commentary. Cassidy continually bites Hayes on the leg so Hayes counters by biting Cassidy on the ass. Cassidy scrambles to the corner and tags in Low Low. Beaver tags in and we got both legends in the ring. Low Low executes a dropkick then runs into a very impressive gorilla press slam by Beaver. These midgets are no slouches in the power department. The cover by Beaver gets 3 as Monsoon speculates Low Low had the wind knocked out of him.

 

We go further back in time to February 18, 1971 to see Little Joey and Frenchie Lamont take on Little Brutus and Low Low. Brutus and Low Low actually trained Tiger Jackson and Lamont was rumored to have picked up Gorilla Monsoon in a fireman’s carry and walked around a hotel room with him on the little guy’s shoulders. The ring announcer says the match is 2 out of 3 falls with a 45 minute time limit….imagine sitting through THAT. A very young Vince McMahon on commentary narrates the standard midget action.  Low Low uses classic midget heel tactics. They trade pinfall combos with the ref refusing to count. Joey puts Sky in a fireman’s carry until the heels doubleteam Joey. Low Low tags in and Joey punches him down. Brutus tags in and prevents Joey from making the tag. Brutus punches and kicks until Joey sommersaults into his corner to tag in Lamont. Frenchie chases Brutus around the ring then delivers a chop. Frenchie heaves Brutus into his corner and he makes the tag to Low Low. Low Low’s hesitant to get in the ring so Frenchie brings him in the hard way. Frenchie chases Low Low around the ring and Brutus tags in. Brutus backdrops and slams Frenchie. Brutus victory rolls Frenchie and hooks the tights for 1…2…3 to win the match. If it sounds like a lousy ending, oh well…that’s how things went in the 70’s.

 

Now for the strangest. We begin with The Rugged Russians According to Ventura the Russian’s manager was the first to dance in the ring (got Slick beat by 15 years) and they’d have several pre-match rituals which has Yokozuna beat by 20 years. Ventura says they used to eat garlic before the match and tried to win their matches by breathing on the opponents. These 2 goofballs do a shadowboxing routine as the segment ends.

 

We go back to Monsoon’s opponent from earlier, The Wolfman. Ventura “Look at this guy. I mean I’M an expert on strange and lemme tell you this guy is a member of the club. This is strange and Jesse The Body knows strange.” We go back to the match he had with Monsoon only this time they show Wolfman getting the upperhand with illegal tactics.

 

Our next guest is Pampero Firpo the wildman from Argentina. Believe it or not, he was the first guy to use the catchphrase “OHHHH YEAHHHH” before Randy Savage popularized it. He won a couple NWA titles in the 60’s including some bloodbaths with The Sheik. Firpo took on the likes of Antonino Rocca, Randy Star and Bruno himself back in the day. Ventura breaks kayfabe by saying Firpo was actually a highly educated guy that spoke 6 languages….ironic given how Monsoon was portrayed as a gorilla when he himself is very articulate. Firpo is shown beating the crap out of someone before we cut.

 

On to “Crazy” Luke Graham of the Graham family. These guys were the original Dudley Boys in the sense they were all related in the storylines yet none of them actually were in reality. The most well known of the group was Dr. Jerry Graham (a mainstay of the WWWF) and of course “Superstar” Billy Graham. When Dr Jerry, Luke and Billy traveled down south, they appeared as relatives of Eddie and Mike in Championship Wrestling from Florida. In this bout, Crazy Luke is being assisted by his manager Grand Wizard in beating up enhancement talent. We then go to an interview with Graham and Wizard conducted by Vince Jr. Wizard says being a winner makes you fabulous and Graham promises to “get the belt back” that was “stolen from my brother” which is a reference to Bob Backlund dethroning Billy Graham in 1978. Wizard says Luke is number one contender (shows you how far WWWF had fallen in talent without Bruno, Pedro, Billy Graham and others who entertained fans in New York throughout the 70’s.. Actually not to go on a rant but you go back to 1979 and the number one promotion qualitywise wasn’t the NWA or WWWF, I’d give the nod to the AWA who had Hogan, Andre, Bockwinkel, Stevens, Okerlund, Heenan and others. Vince Jr interrogates Grand Wizard for his shady tactics and Wizard says Vince’s eyes need to be checked. Wizard says Vince Jr is Bob Backlund’s number 1 fan which is hilarious considering he was desperate to put the belt on Hogan as soon as he signed him. Graham then holds up a sign that says The Grand Wizard is the Manager of Champions with pictures of Stan Stasiak and Billy Graham on it. This was back when heels weren’t supposed to be cool to show you how special the Wizard was. Wizard then names his proteges including The Masked Destroyer and Jerry Blackwell (who was more known in the AWA). Vince “How do you explain the boos from the fans when you two enter?” Wizard “The booze in the fans cause them to boo.” The Wizard was something else, it was a shame he left us too early in 1982.

 

The next highlighted star is another oddity, Maurice “Mad Dog” Vachon. Greg Gagne once called him a “frickin lunatic!” and he was right on the money. Despite being one of Canada’s greatest amateur wrester’s in the 40’s, he was one of the founding fathers of the hardcore style with Freddie Blassie and John Tolos. Eventually Vachon dethroned Verne Gagne to reign as AWA heavyweight champion. He then had one of those inexplicable face turns where the fans simply cheered him for no good reason so Verne ran with it. In the intro, Ventura even goes as far to say that for some reason fans in Minneapolis made him a cult figure. This clip is from June 17, 1984 and Mad Dog gets a big babyface reaction from the crowd. Buddy Colt cuts him off and stomps away at him. Gene Okerlund goes silent on commentary until Gorilla Monsoon takes over. Colt has a playboy bunny on his tights which doesn’t impress Mad Dog who begins to bite the poor guy.

 

We then go to Mr. Fuji and Moondog Spot, part of the famous Moondogs (think american version of Wild Samoans). This came from a segment on TNT where Lord Alfred Hays invited Vince McMahon Jr, Mr. Fuji and The British Bulldogs to a tea party…yes of course I’m serious. Fuji brings along Spot and smashes a dish over his head. Mr. Fuji “This is cheap china, this is not Japenese china!” He then instructs Spot to tear the place apart and smash everything with his bone as Davey Boy looks confused. Alfred “Vince, why did you bring such an oaf?” Vince “YOU brought him!”

 

Now here’s a strange highlight, none other than Mil Mascaras. The Hulk Hogan of Mexico is seen here in a tag team with Bobo Brazil hitting a flying bodypress on Dick Murdoch (with Adrian Adonis in the other corner). Mascaras really was the Hogan of Mexico as he put himself on top for years after his prime was over. In fact he was still headlining in the 90’s when his heydey was in the 70’s. Oh and his nephew happens to be current WWE Champion (9/9/11) Alberto Del Rio. Mascaras goes to town on Adonis causing Adrian to do his over the top rope/catching arms in the ropes spot. Mascaras would later compete in WCW and even take part in the 1997 Royal Rumble (though he was much more beefier by then).

 

Our next guest needs no introduction to strange, Captain Lou Albano. This guy wrote the book on strange but luckily we all know him so no need to explain his background. Albano actualy managed far more champions than Wizard ever did and he’s shown here with Mr Fuji and Mr Saito when they captured the titles. Monsoon “He is the greatest walking advertisement for birth control.” Next is his classic interview already covered in BLOOPERS, BLEEPS AND BODYSLAMS where he claims he doesn’t need deoderant. We then are shown Jimmy Snuka beating the crap out of him with chops and headbutts.

 

On to Nikolai Volkoff singing the Soviet National anthem as the crowd pelts the ring with garbage. Ever wonder why Nikolai sings the anthem? This ritual started in another territory when he used to simply play a tape of the anthem over the sound system. Then one day he lost the tape and came up with a different idea, he’d just sing it himself! 30 years later it still is good for cheap heat.

 

On to the strange fashion portion where Adrian Adonis wears an S & M style leather jacket (with the NY Yankees logo) while Big John Studd walks behind him and is flanked by Dick Murdoch. Sadly, none of these guys would live beyond 1996. Iron Sheik and Ayatollah Blassie’s turbans are also highlighted. Next up is Brutus Beefcake and his strange attire (with Johnny V barking at a referee). Up next is JYD’s entrance at Wrestlemania 1 complete with the giant chain. Surprised they haven’t shown Jimmy Hart yet other than hiding behind Greg Valentine. Up next are the Indian headdresses of Jay and Jules Strongbow, the WWWF Tag Team Champions. Hulk Hogan’s t-shirt is highlighted for some reason…oh wait, there’s his infamous match with Okerlund as a partner…yikes. Ah there’s Roddy Piper’s t-shirt as he takes on Tonga Kid in the Philadelphia Spectrum. There’s Jimmy Hart, I knew it was a matter of time. Freddie Blassie in his red sequined Wrestlemania 1 jacket followed by Cyndi Lauper’s Wrestlemania entrance. Greg Valentine’s blue robe looks flashy in the Spectrum and of course Bobby Heenan’s squined jacket from Wrestlemania. Johnny V is back wearing ridiculous sunglasses on TNT with Vince McMahon Jr. Speaking of ridiculous sunglasses, there’s Fabulous Moolah. The Moondogs enter getting booed by the crowd. Finally the star of the show, Jesse “The Body” Ventura who pretty much stole everything “Superstar” Billy Graham ever did.

 

On to a segment on the January 15, 1985 editon of TNT where Ken Patera, Bobby Heenan and Big John Studd cut a midget’s hair. No its not The Haiti Kid, I don’t recognize the little guy. First Heenan sprays bug spray in the dude’s hair and says “Its like the roach motel, you check in but you don’t check out.” Then Patera raises the seat up then Studd suggests to put the seatbelt on. Vince is confused but then protests when Patera and Heenan tie the guy up. We then get a TAPE EDIT (really?) and now the guy is covered in goo, even Vince is protests. Patera then soaks the midget with a sink faucet while Studd sprays more goop on the back of the guys neck. Vince tries to be the babyface but Heenan and Patera keep making wisecracks and Vince bursts out laughing. Heenan “I don’t know what this stuff is but I’m sure it’ll help” He dumps a jar of blue gel on him. Studd then grabs baby powder and powders the guys head with Heenan telling him to do it harder. Patera then grabs the bottle, opens it up and dumps the whole thing on the guy.

 

We then look at newcomers and the first highlighted is Mad Maxine, better known as Lady Maxine from the Mid-South and Fuller territories. She was 6’2 with a mohawk and leather gear, think Luna Vachon only as tall as Lex Luger. Actually she, Luna and Peggy Lee Pringle all worked together in Florida. She had a brief run in the WWF working with Fabulous Moolah but she left to pursue journalism. Actually she would work some territories before retiring for good in 1987 where she became an actual journalist. It’s a shame for wrestling fans because she was truly unique. The next highlighted is The Missing Link aka Dewey Robertson. He was better known for competing in World Class but he had a vignette here, managed by Bobby Heenan. Vince is wearing a bright red suit and Alfred Hays is with him. The set they are on would be later used for Ultimate Warrior shit but for now it’s the “cave” that Link lives in. Vince asks Link why he looks so weird and Link freaks out at the sight of the microphone in his face. Missing Link was pretty much a variation of the Kamala and George Steele gimmicks. Speaking of Steele, he’s highlighted next. He eats a turnbuckle and attacks Steve Lombardi with the stuffings. Ventura’s voiceover reminds us that he was once number 1 contender to Bruno Sammartino in the 60’s and 70’s, one of the hottest feuds the Boston Garden ever saw. Steele pulls more stuffing out of the corner and rakes Lombardi’s face with it. He finds another turnbuckle, bites it open and chokes Lombardi with it in the corner. Referee Dick Woehrle’s expression says it all. Steele heaves Lombardi over the top rope to the floor then into the guardrail. Steele actually bites a piece of the top rope which is disgusting when you think about how many sweaty backs are thrown against or over the top of it.

 

Jesse tells us before we get to the “feats of strength” not to try this at home. 20 years ahead of the “Don’t try this at home” campaign. We begin with Bepo Mongol putting the claw hold on Bruno Sammartino in their 1970 championship match. Who is this strange man that has little patches of hair as horns on his head? Why its none other than Nikolai Volkoff! Bepo was one of his first gimmicks after coming over from his native Croatia. He and Sammartino go at it and when they collide, Sammartino is sent flying out of the ring. Now we cut to a famous arm wrestling contest between Ivan Putski and Jesse “The Body” Ventura from July 20, 1984. Putski was the poster child for steroids in the 1980’s because he looked absolutely nothing like he did 5-6 years earlier when challenging “Superstar” Billy Graham for the WWWF Championship. Looks like we’re going to see this in its entirety. Ventura enters wearing the purple turban, purple tie dye shirt and black tights. Ventura checks the table and the two folding chairs set up in the ring. Jesse draws some heel heat by wiping his outlandish shades on the referee’s shirt. Jesse sheds his shirt, turban and shades then the two of them pose for the crowd. The roided up Putski is clearly superior but Ventura was no stranger to roids either. An irate Ventura shouts at Tony Garea doing commentary with Vince McMahon. Ventura stalls twice for heel heat and then Putski returns the favor. Ventura goes beserk, throwing down his chair while Ivan struts around the ring. Finally they both sit down and we’re ready to go. Ventura gets the early advantage but Putski storms back to nearly put Jesse down only for The Body to cheat, grabbing the other side of the table while the ref wasn’t looking to regain the advantage. Jesse almost puts Ivan down but once again Putski comes back, nearly putting Jesse down until Ventura cheats again. Putski screams and has Jesse almost down when Ventura pulls him across the table and delivers an elbow to the back of the head. He grabs the steel chair he was sitting in and clobbers Ivan several times in the head and back before putting the boots to him. Jesse throws the ref down and spits at the fallen Putski. He poses with one foot on his chest as the crowd tosses garbage in the ring. Jesse was on his way to being one of the top heels for the WWF but blood clots ended his career at the age of 33 in 1984. Then he became one of the most famous color commentators in wrestling history.

 

We go to the Iron Sheik’s harem for a Persian club demonstration. Vince is wearing a beige suit and he’s sitting cross-legged next to a woman in a red dress who almost looks like Miss Elizabeth. Sheik is wearing his blue trunks and boots as he speaks in Farci before picking up the clubs. He swings the clubs for about a minute before Vince forces him to stop. Vince asks how much each club weighs and Sheik answers 75 pounds. That’s how strong Sheik was, he could legitimately swing 75 pound clubs over his head for long periods of time. It should be noted there was only one wrestler that was able to do it with him, Bob Backlund.

 

Now we’re with Vince and Big John Studd and Studd’s going to bench press for us. Vince is wearing a normal suit while Studd has on a yellow, Gold’s gym wife-beater. Studd says the world’s record for bench press is 686 pounds and to start off he’s going to do 630. Studd says to send the tape of this to Hogan and Andre to show them how its done. Remember the jobber that Billy Graham famously broke his hip against? Well he’s a real life friend of Studd and he’s going to help Vince spot for Studd. They barely are able to get the weight bench off and Studd says “ahhh what a lousy liftoff, ok I got it.” Studd gives us a rep as Vince says that was impressive. Studd “You haven’t seen nothing yet!” Studd asks what Hogan’s doing now as he adds two 35 pound plates to the bench. This makes it 700 even as Studd says “some nobody” set the record. It was actually future WWF competitor Ted Arcidi that set the record and had the legitimate claim to be “World’s Strongest Man”. Vince asks what would happen if he can’t bench the weight and it falls on his chest. Vince tells the audience Studd will set the world record if he can get it up. Vince and the jobber lift off and Studd says “lousy liftoff but I got it” but can’t do it. Vince and the spotter put the bench back as Studd blames the jobber. Studd wants another try but Vince says nope. We cut to the TNT set with Bruno Sammartino being interviewed when Studd storms on the set and demands Bruno spot him. Vince asks Bruno if he’s ok with it and Bruno says he benched 585 once and felt 600 was impossible, let alone 700. Studd “Lousy equipment, lousy bench, lousy weights!” Vince asks Studd what goes through his mind as he attempts to set a record and Studd gets up and cuts a promo. A simple “nothing” would have been just fine. Bruno and Vince lift off and John says that liftoff was lousy as well. Studd actually benches it and Vince is impressed. Studd says Andre wouldn’t be able to do it. We cut here and its obvious he wasn’t benching 700 pounds because if he really did set the world record, people would have known about it. Ted Arcidi benched 700 pounds raw (raw means no gimmick shirts or wrist straps, just straight up muscle power) for real.

 

The final segments are about Ken Patera but before that we see Tony Atlas posing for the Madison Square Garden crowd. Patera was a legitimate olympic power-lifter, qualifying in the 1972 Olympics. He was the US National weightlifting champion 3 years in a row (69-71) prior to that. He finished 3rd in the World’s Strongest Man competition in 1977 as well. Patera and Atlas pose for the crowd before Patera rushes only to be knocked backwards out of the ring. Ken hugs Bobby on the floor then gets back in…only to bail out again as we end there. We then cut to older footage with Vince McMahon wearing a ridiculous piss yellow suitcoat and green pants next to Ken in a green Olympic powerlifting singlet. Vince asks Ken what kind of feat of strength he’s going to do but Patera cuts him off to tell the crowd to shut up. “They’re getting to me, the louder they shout the more my opponent suffers.” There’s heel heat without being corny or silly. Ken then says he’s going to take a 6 inch spike and with his bare hands, try to ram it through the sturdiest wood in the world. He says a lot of guys can break wood with their fists or feet but they don’t drive spikes barehanded. Vince brings up how this particular stunt was banned from powerlifting events because of difficulty but the crowd starts chanting “We want Putski!” to piss Ken off. A TAPE EDIT now shows Ken getting ready to do it….*drumroll*….and he does it. Ken “You can pass that around to the geeks out there that I did it but don’t let them keep it because they’ll throw it back at me.” A TAPE EDIT now says he’s going to bend a 6 inch stainless steel bolt with his bare hands. He says that when he does the giant swing, the most important aspect is the hand strength, not the back or legs. This is apparently how he practices hand strength. He tells the crowd to shut up again. He wraps a hand towel around it so he doesn’t legitimately rip his hands and then bends the damn thing in half. “Let’s see Putski do that!” Another TAPE EDIT now shows Patera trying to blow up a hot water bottle until it pops. He says he does it to improve his lung strength and then shouts at the crowd “How are your lungs, they’re probably filled with cigarette smoke!” He blows…and blows…and blows…..POP! Patera staggers around and then shouts at the crowd again. We now cut to a different segment with Alfred wearing a light blue suit he probably stole from Vince. Vince is wearing a beige leisure suit (ugh) as Ken is in a red tanktop and white 80’s short workout shorts (yeesh). Ken is going to attempt to block a 5200 pound mini-van with just his legs. Vince is skeptical as Ken asks Vince to drive the truck and that he’s not liable if something goes wrong. Vince hands the mic to Alfred and Ken explains he’s going to put a pillow behind his back for support. Vince honks the horn as Ken tells him to hold his horses. Ken explains he’s going to put his feet on the bumper and stop the van. As the van pulls up Alfred asks if he can step back and Ken says “Yeah, get outta the way!” Vince keeps honking the horn and Patera tells him to have some patience. He gets in position and tells Vince to come close. Ken then gets up and tells the fans at home not to try this (good thinking) and gets back in position. He then puts both feet on the bumpers and tells Vince to punch it. Vince floors it for real and the van doesn’t budge. The back wheels spin and burn rubber and Ken still has it going nowhere. Then smoke fills the area and finally Vince cuts the engine. Patera gags legitimately (that must reek too) and Vince asks if he’s alright. Ken “Yeah, I told you to cut it off after 6 seconds” and Vince says “My foot was stuck on the accelerator what do you want me to do?” Ken “What are ya trying to do, kill me?” Vince “No I’m not trying to kill you!”  Good shit, and impressive too. Patera is half of Mark Henry’s size so if he’s pulling off these feats of strength, it shows just how truly powerful he is. Right around this time is when he went to jail too. Remember how I mentioned that he was arrested in 1984 for throwing a rock through a McDonald’s window, well it took over a year to convict him but they finally did in 1985. A shame because he was one of the founding members of the Heenan Family with Big John Studd and later King Kong Bundy.

 

Oh look, we’re done. The credits are rolling signaling the end of the tape. Now for the sneak previews of BEST OF THE WWF VOLUME 4, THE AMAZING MANAGERS and WRESTLING’S COUNTRY BOYS. I guess back then tapes came in 3 packs. As for this, what can you say? All it was, was a collection of highlights featuring a lot of guys that would never be highlighted under any circumstances in the other territories. It was yet another attempt to do something different and it worked. Demolition Ax used to say that if a guy who thinks he drew the house by himself would stand in the ring for 2 hours telling jokes, no one would come. EVERYONE on the roster was important from the first match all the way to the main event. How do I rate a tape that has everything? I can’t really. A highlight tape isn’t for everyone but its got a lot of good thing packed into 81 minutes. I recommend getting it if you can find it because a lot of people are highlighted. The next tape after this is another profile tape, the number 1 heel ROWDY RODDY PIPER’S GREATEST HITS.