Rowdy Roddy Piper’s Greatest Hits (WF009)

ROWDY RODDY PIPER’S GREATEST HITS (WF009)

After BIGGEST, SMALLEST, STRANGEST, STRONGEST comes the profile tape of the one and only “Rowdy” Roddy Piper. A trend had started in World Class Championship Wrestling a few years prior of highlighting the heels as much as the babyfaces. The Fabulous Freebirds even got a legendary music video out of it. Over in the WWF, this would be the first time a major heel would get his own profile tape. After Hogan and Andre, the top bad guy was Roddy Piper and this would be highlighting his greatest hits I would imagine. Cue the 1985 opening montage before being welcomed by “Mean” Gene Okerlund who’s our host today. He brings up the 2 previous profile tapes (HULKAMANIA and ANDRE THE GIANT) and says this one’s different because he and Piper don’t get along (kayfabe). Gene complains about the title of this tape and runs him down. We are then shown a few still highlights of Piper before Gene sends us to our first Piper’s Pit.

Before I get started, talk shows in wrestling have been commonplace but the most prolific (and many consider to be the ONLY good one) was Piper’s Pit. There was Buddy’s Corner hosted by Buddy Rogers a few years earlier but other than Jimmy Snuka turning face, you had a general idea of what kind of a show it was. With Piper’s Pit you had no idea what was going to happen on the show. Would the babyface interviewed get beat up, would Piper get beat up, would he go nose to nose with a heel or support him, who knew? He was so entertaining on the mic that the show became a phenomenon and many tried to recreate it. There was Jake Roberts’ Snake Pit, Reo’s Roundup (Brother Love doing a Dusty Rhodes impersonation), Jerry Lawler’s King’s Court, Shawn Michaels’ Heartbreak Hotel, Dude Love’s Love Shack, Carlito’s Cabana, Chris Jericho’s Highlight Reel, Brutus Beefcake’s The Barber Shop, Edge’s The Cutting Edge, Christian’s The Peep Show, The Brother Love Show and on and on. Save for a few moments when Honky Tonk Man bashed Roberts in the head with a real guitar on Snake Pit and Shawn Michaels throwing Marty Jannetty through a window on The Barber Shop, nothing of real importance or excitement happened on these other shows. Meanwhile on Piper’s Pit, something new and exciting would happen every week. Our first one goes back to March 1984 with Piper interviewing Andre the Giant. Piper asks Andre where he comes from and Andre doesn’t answer. Piper asks if he speaks English and then asks very slowly where Andre comes from. Andre “Its none of your business.” Piper then apologizes and will try to ask easier questions then says Andre has a big body but teeny tiny brain. Piper asks Andre if John Studd slammed him and Andre answers “never”. Piper repeats the question and Andre fires back “Do you understand English or not, I already said no one time.” Piper gets heated and says he can slam Andre as the big guy gets up and grabs Piper by his shirt, lifting him off the ground. Piper tried to get his shirt off but Andre rips it off and throws him off the set before leaving. Piper goes beserk but the mic misses a portion of what he says. Piper then challenges Andre and says “YOU DO NOT THROW ROCKS AT A MAN WHO’S GOT A MACHINE GUN!” Mean Gene’s voiceover says after that incident, a confrontation would be inevitable and we’re sent to our first match.

 

Match 1

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper and “Dr D” David Schultz vs Andre The Giant and “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Pat Patterson

   March 20, 1984 in Madison Square Garden, a year and 11 days before Wrestlemania 1. The two top heels go after a formidable tag team to be honest. Why Andre and Snuka never got a run at Adonis/Murdoch or the Samoans I don’t know. Snuka and Schultz are in their normal gear while Piper dons the green tights and Andre in the red. We start out with Andre as Piper pats David and says go get em…hahahaha. A smiling Andre backs Schultz into the ropes and he begs off. After a TAPE EDIT, Piper tags in. Piper stalls to tease the crowd before tagging Schultz back in. David gets in a side headlock but gets sent off the ropes, Andre drops down and sticks his ass up. Schultz runs into it (like Muraco in BLOOPERS, BLEEPS AND BODYSLAMS) and crumples to the mat like he ran into a brick wall. Patterson jokes that Snuka is probably saying “What a great partner, I don’t have to do nothing.” Piper gets him on his feet and shouts more words of encouragement. Schultz then attacks Andre from behind and goes to work in the corner with punches and eye rakes. Piper screams for the tag and gets it before picking up where D left off. Piper throws more punches but Andre doesn’t sell any of them before delivering a big punch of his own that sends Piper flying backwards. Piper charges into the corner to throw more punches where another Andre punch sends him staggering into the ropes. Undaunted, Piper continues to unload in the corner before a giant headbutt spirals Piper into the corner where D tags back in. Schultz continues to attack in the corner with chops and axehandles but the big guy barely sells anything. Andre nails Schultz with a punch then whips David into the opposite corner. Andre charges and shoulderblocks his opponent in the corner. Andre goes for another shoulderblock but eats knee. David drops and elbow but the nonchalant cover gets 1. Dave goes for another elbow but Andre gets the boot up. Piper interferes and referee Dick Woehrle holds him back as Snuka gets in to chase him away. Unfortunately for Jimmy when Woehrle tells him to beat a hasty retreat, Piper slips on some brass knuckles and wallops the big guy. Schultz tags Piper back in who hides the knux and stomps away on the fallen giant. Andre is busted wide open as D tags in to continue the beating. Piper tags back in and he goes to work on the open wound.  The heels make frequent tags to pound on Andre as Monsoon goes nuts on commentary. We get a TAPE EDIT and now a group of EMT’s are tending to Andre on the ground. Is the match over? Nobody is saying a word even though Piper is sitting on the top turnbuckle with D next to him. Police offers and EMT’s get Andre to his feet and proceed to assist him to the back. Piper and D raise each other’s hands in victory but Snuka gets in and says he’ll take them both on to a huge pop from the crowd. Monsoon says it’s the referee’s decision and he circles the ring much to the crowd’s delight. Woehrle asks Piper if he’s down with that and he says yes. Piper and Snuka lock up and Roddy drops Jimmy with a shoulderblock. 2 leap frogs and a big dropkick by Snuka floors Piper. Snuka attacks Schultz in the corner and Piper as he comes over to complain. Jimmy chops Piper and unloads with right hands on the ground. Jimmy cuts off a charging Schultz then rams him into Piper. Snuka rams Piper’s head into the top turnbuckle. 2 jumping headbutts drop both the heels and  goes to inflict more damage on Schultz but Piper stops the momentum with an eye poke. Roddy delivers a headlocked punch as D finally makes it back to the apron. A TAPE EDIT now has Piper decking Snuka with a knee lift but Snuka powers out of the attempt. Schultz tags in to deliver a forearm to the fallen Snuka. A cover by Schultz gets a 2 count and Snuka begins to revive. The crowd pops as Andre lumbers back to ring sized all taped up like a mummy. Andre charges into the ring and rams D and Roddy’s heads together. A giant punch sends Roddy out of the ring and a giant boot drops D inside. The ref has lost complete control as Andre delivers another giant boot to the doctor. Piper climbs on the apron only to be chopped off by Snuka. Andre chops Schultz who ironically does the Andre tie up into the ropes. Andre goes to slingshot Jimmy into the heels but they bail to the back. Andre rumbles to the back to give chase as the bell rings. Howard Finkel gets on the mic and announces Piper and Schultz win by disqualification. Huh? Monsoon scoffs and Patterson tries to reason that Andre came back when he wasn’t supposed to. Either way some biker chicks in the front row nod in approval as Schultz and Piper get the duke. Now this would have been a big time main event on a pay per view but ppv wouldn’t be an option for another year and a half. Great drama in this one even if it wasn’t catch-as-catch can. The internet geeks can stick it because drama and emotion mean a hell of a lot more than triple frankensteiners into sunset flips. One last thing of note, for once WWF lagged behind WCW. The combination of Bob Orton, Roddy Piper, David Schultz and Paul Orndorff would tag together and go after the common enemy in Hulk Hogan. Doesn’t this sound similar to a certain group of 4 heels that didn’t like Dusty Rhodes a year later in Mid-Atlantic? Yup, WWF had their own 4 Horsemen with Piper playing the role of Ric Flair a year before Flair’s crew formed. Unfortunately Vince missed his chance to cash in on the first heel supergroup but that was good news for Crockett. What might have been huh?

 

Time of match: Joined in progress

Winners: Piper and Schultz by DQ

 

 Now for arguably the second most famous Piper’s Pit where he interviews preliminary jobber Frankie Williams. Piper asks here he’s from and Frankie answers Columbus, Ohio. Piper says he’s never lost a match there and asks if he’s ever lost a match. Frankie says “Yeah.” Piper claims he’s never lost a match his whole career and says he can’t comprehend losing because you lose your edge, then goes on to say Frankie is the opposite as he’s never seen the guy win a match. Piper says he lacks the guts, he’s a coward and he should be making pizzas but Frankie cuts him off in broken English saying he’s not a coward. Piper tries to calm him down but Frank has none of it and says he’s always inside the ring no matter what and he’s not afraid of anyone. Piper “Ya got no room for nobody but you’re a lousy wrestler, its as simple as that!” Frank “I may be a lousy wrestler but I’m still in there, I’m not afraid of nobody…ahhh!” At this point Piper gets up and knocks Williams out of his chair and to the ground. Piper hammers away as Vince McMahon scoffs on commentary. Piper beats him up and throws him off the set. He sticks his face in the camera “Just when they think they got the answers, I change the questions!”  Once again this shows that Piper’s Pit was must see tv because you had no idea what the crazy bastard would do next.

Now Gene sends us to one of the more famous segments that led to the first Wrestlemania. Gene talks over Vince wearing a hideous beige suit and Alfred in a 70’s tuxedo. We are shown backstage at War To Settle The Score and Piper is behind Mr. T. War to Settle The Score was the sequel to Brawl To End It All on MTV. While Brawl was Richter vs Moolah with Cindy Lauper involved, this was Hogan vs Piper in their first big time encounter. Piper creeps up behind Mr. T and says “I know its Mr. T because its written on the back of your chair and I’m assuming its there so you don’t get lost!” Mr T starts to rise and Piper continues “You guys portray bad guys on your show and I would know as I’m a bad guy in real life so how does it feel to be portraying guys like myself?” Mr T “Boy you ain’t nothing man.” Piper and T go back and forth arguing who’s real and who’s phony which is hilarious considering one’s a pro wrestler and the other is an actor. Not to say Piper’s not a tough guy as he’s a former golden gloves boxer but still. Mr T says Piper only fights wimps and Piper counters that the only wimp he knows is Dave Wolfe, Cindy Lauper’s manager. T complains that Piper beat up Lauper and Piper says he’s an equal opportunitist. He makes fun of T’s shaved head and Lauper’s dye job then says the children of America must be sick to look up to him. T snaps and gets in Piper’s face. T’s manager or bodyguard holds him back and Piper points a finger saying “Don’t you mess with me man!” We cut there and now we get to the actual match from War To Settle The Score.

 

Match 2

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper (with Bob Orton) vs Hulk Hogan (with Cindy Lauper, Dave Wolfe and Lou Albano) for the WWF Heavyweight Championship

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Gene Okerlund

   The War To Settle The Score, February 18, 1985 in Madison Square Garden. The second of the big MTV wrestling shows following Brawl To End It All. Basically it was an hour and a half long special on MTV centered around this one match where everyone from wrestlers to media personalities alike weighed in on the match. The heels backed Piper while guys like Danny Devito, Dee Snyder of Twisted Sister and babyfaces backed the Hulkster. Roddy Piper makes his grand entrance with a bagpipe band and “Cowboy” Bob Orton in tow with his arm in a sling. After getting injured recently before this match, Orton would go on a long legendary angle where he’d wear a cast on his arm. Piper is wearing a Hulkamania shirt and carrying an electric guitar. Howard Finkel gives way to NBC sports announcer Bob Costas to announce Hogan’s entrance. Piper smashes the guitar and berates the already irate crowd. The crowd heaves garbage at him as he does the I Love You sign. For this VHS tape we get some generic stock music as Cindy Lauper, Dave Wolfe, Captain Lou and Hogan make their entrance, in the actual MTV broadcast it was Eye of the Tiger. No idea why Vince paid royalties for WRESTLEMANIA to use Eye of the Tiger but not this tape. Mr T himself is sitting at ringside and he psyches up Hulk before he gets in the ring. They tear their entrance gear off and trade blows in the center of the ring to begin. Hogan gets the upper hand with an eye rake but Piper tackles him and lands more punches to the head. Hogan then rolls on top to deliver his own series of punches. On their feet, 2 big right hands sends Piper into the corner. Hogan whips Piper into the opposite corner and delivers a back elbow smash. Piper flops down and begs off before getting caught in a scoop slam. Hogan follows another scoop slam with a running elbow drop. Okerlund names all the celebs at ringside as Hogan bites Piper in the head. Roddy reverses a whip and clotheslines Hulk in the corner. Piper makes the cover but referee Dick Woehrle takes forever to make the count so Roddy only gets two. Piper gets a running stomp to the head then follows with another. Piper goes for a cover but only gets 2 as Gene bitches about a choke that wasn’t there. Piper double chops Hogan in the throat which sends the Hulkster down. Piper sends Hulk off and catches him with the sleeper! Piper has it synched in as again Gene and Gorilla bitches about a chokehold. Hulk does the fade then revive routine and Hulks Up. Gene makes spaz noises as Hogan runs to the corner, ducks and rams Roddy’s head off the top turnbuckle. Piper attacks with an axehandle to the head and an eye rake. Roddy chokes Hogan on the top rope and when Woehrle pulls him off, Orton takes over from the outside. Hogan grabs Orton by the hair, grabs the injured arm and rams it off the steel ringpost. Piper turns around into a right hand and a series of left jabs. A big right hand decks Piper and he begs off. They trade eye rakes before Hogan nails Piper with a clothesline. “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff makes his appearance to take Orton’s place apparently. Hogan executes an atomic drop and another right hand. Hogan goes for another atomic drop but Piper counters with a forearm to the head that knocks Hogan into Woehrle. Dick is out cold and Piper takes advantage by holding Hogan down for Orndorff to jump off the top with a kneedrop. Piper and Orndorff stomp away at Hogan before Piper notices Lauper on the apron. Orndorff continues to attack, ignoring Piper trying to stop him.  Finally Hot Rod gets Orndorff’s attention and they slowly stalk Cindy. Piper knocks Cindy’s hat off as Mr T hops the railing to save the day. T gets Cindy out of there as Piper taunts him. Piper challenges him to step in the ring and he does. Gene “I don’t know his background as a wrestler” Monsoon “He doesn’t belong in there Gene”. Taken from the guy who put Muhammad Ali in an airplane spin, he’d know. T enters the ring but Orndorff grabs his foot from the outside allowing Piper to knock him down with a clothesline. Piper and Orndorff put the boots to Mr T as Hogan finally wakes up. The champ Hulks Up as Mr T gets to his feet and they chase Orndorff and Piper out of the ring. Orton returns and the 3 heels are restrained by NYC police officers from getting back in the ring. Pandemonium ensues as security guards and police officers alike  try to separate the two factions. The heels finally retreat as Hulk and T shake hands. Howard Finkel gets on the mic: “Ladies and gentleme….: Hogan cuts him off “PIPER! ORNDORFF! GET YOUR BUTTS BACK IN HERE!” Fink “Ladies and gentleman, the winner of this bout as a result of a disqualification, HULK HOGAN!” We cut the segment here, well that was interesting wasn’t it? Pretty much the first Wrestlemania began with this match. In the live event, the next 15-20 minutes centered around backstage interviews so for this tape, better to cut now. The match itself was high impact intensity just like the first one with very little mat wrestling.

 

Time of match: Never given

Winner: Hulk Hogan by DQ (still WWF champion)

 

Now for one of the best done Piper’s Pits of all time. Roddy Piper in a suit and tie is by himself on the set. He starts by ranting about how stupid Hogan, Albano, Lauper and Andre are and now he needs someone with intelligence. He then hypes up his guest as the greatest wrestler of all time and introduces….”Rowdy” Roddy Piper. Thanks to a great editing job, Piper will be interviewing himself. You can’t even tell its fake actually. Guest Piper is wearing his standard Hot Rod t-shirt and kilt. He sits down with his legs spread and luckily he’s wearing his blue wrestling tights underneath. He pushes his kilt down and says “Sorry grandma.” Host Piper  “It’s a pleasure to have you here.” Guest Piper “Especially the bathtub.” Host Piper asks if he’d ever thought he’d have this kind of success growing up and Guest Piper says of course. Host Piper asks if he had any idols or mentors growing up, Guest Piper answers Frank Zappa. He says he didn’t have any real idols or mentors because there’s nobody better than him at anything. Host Piper asks if he has any special diets and Guest Piper answers frog legs. Host Piper says he’s got a letter here from Hulk Hogan’s mom and Guest Piper says “Asking for money again?” Host “Dear Mr. Roddy Piper, please would you stop beating up my son. Spelled s-o-o-n. He wakes up in the morning screaming your name. Spelled n-a-m. Would you please leave my son alone as it makes him look very bad, him crying and holding on to my ankles. Being as he’s the world’s champion.” Guest Piper “Why didn’t Mrs Hogan teach her son the same kind of honesty that she has? She was walking down 42^nd street the other day with the rest of the bag ladies.” He also says Hogan has roots except for the front of his head where there are none. Host Piper asks if Guest Piper ever had any disappointments and Guest answers his dog got run over when he was 6 and sarcastically says “yeah that really hurt my career.” Other than that he says, he’s the cats ass. Yes, those were his words. Host Piper asks how he copes with all the women chasing him around and Guest Piper answers he’s got a 12 foot bullwhip and he uses it when they want to leave. “What does it say on my t-shirt? It doesn’t say Dumb-rod…it doesn’t say limp-rod…it says HOT Rod.” Host Piper asks if Guest Piper will do any feature films and Guest answers the morons in Hollywood are trying to keep him out. “When Eastwood shoots a gun, someone gets killed. When I shoot a gun, someone gets pregnant.” Edgy stuff for 1984-85 I must say. Ironic as he’d leave the business 2 years later to act in movies. Piper breaks the 4^th wall and talks to the audience saying they paid good money for this tape and they’re getting their money’s worth. Guest Piper says it pisses him off (again edgy for 85 standards) that other people are successful because of him. Guest Piper says if you’re having trouble getting your wife pregnant then get her a candlelit dinner, warm the bed up nice and then give him a call. Host Piper says its been a true pleasure but time’s up, Guest complains saying its his tape. Guest Piper says Host Piper is the only man he’d never fight as we cut there. Pretty revolutionary for the time period and it makes sense. Piper was booked as this complete asshole and the only one who could interview him was himself really. Nowadays when someone plays a heel, its carved into fans heads that he’s only playing a character. Back then fans really felt like Piper was a grade A quality dick, and business was better because of that.

Mean Gene takes us back to just before Wrestlemania where Piper and Orndorff are training for the big match at Mid-City Health Club For Men (name was changed later for political reasons to Mid-City Gym). Piper is in a full sweatsuit while Orndorff is in just workout shorts and sneakers, both are sitting against the wall with Orton in full cowboy mode standing by. Okerlund asks what they’re doing and Orton says they’re meditating. Okerlund gets down to ask Piper what he’s doing and Roddy just hisses at him. He goes to Orndorff next but he’s not moving either. Orton then wakes them up and they get mad at the sight of Okerlund. Orndorff says he has no business being there as Okerlund tries to save face by saying its his job. We cut to a different room where Orndorff is powerlifting a barbell. Okerlund tries to narrate but Piper tells him to get lost. Okerlund asks Orton to be the voice of reason (ironic) and Bob says its supposed to be a closed workout. Orton shills Orndorff’s lifting skills.  Gene says he’s impressed and Orndorff scoffs at him. Then he and Piper grab weight lifting belts and stalk Okerlund with them. Paul “We told you not to come”. Next we see Okerlund getting the heave-ho courtesy of Orton and Orndorff. A bystander tries to help Gene and he gets attacked by the two as Piper stands by laughing. A few bystanders laugh at the proceedings and one shouts “He’s a stuntman!” Gotta love how in New York fans knew it was part of the show, meanwhile in Louisiana the Midnight Express would get knives pulled on them if they were shooting something similar.

Now we fast-forward after Wrestlemania to a TNT segment where Orton and Piper visit the doctor. Yes of course I’m serious. Vince McMahon in a light pink suit with “Doc Stevens” as Piper and Orton enter. Piper is in full wrestling gear while Orton is dressed casual. I know this is just a set on a tv show but can you imagine in real life going to a legitimate doctor dressed like Piper is? Yes he’s got the t-shirt and kilt on, but still. Doctor Stevens looks at an x-ray of Orton’s original injury and says the bones didn’t break the skin when the compound fracture happened so they should be healed by now. Orton claims the arm still hurts while the doc looks at a brand new x-ray. He says the arm is completely healed as Piper leans in for a closer look. Piper “That ain’t his x-ray! Look at the length of the arm, his arm don’t look good like that.”  Vince then asks the doctor to check out Orton’s arm right here on the spot and Orton tries to protest. Orton lies down and Piper protests that “Why does he gotta lie down if you’re only checking his arm?” The doc wants to test some things and he hits the bottom of his elbow to test reflexes. Orton reacts too early and the doc is now convinced he’s fine. The doc says there’s nothing wrong with him as Piper starts quacking, causing Orton to laugh. Piper does it louder while the doc tries to talk which causes Vince to laugh himself. Once again proof that nobody takes anything seriously on the show. Vince tries to narrate the ending but everyone talks over each other M*A*S*H style. Now that was funny on Piper’s part.

We can’t have a greatest hits tape without the most famous Piper’s Pit segment could we? Of course it’s the one with Jimmy Snuka. Its basically the same clip from BEST OF THE WWF VOLUME 1 so I’ll just re-post. We’re at the part where Piper tells Snuka to put the microphone in Jimmy’s little greasy paws. Piper then says he’s going to make Jimmy feel at home, he picks up a pineapple from a brown paper bag. My favorite line “This pineapple is like the women from the Fiji Islands, long busty hair on top, round on the bottom.” Piper then pulls out a bunch of bananas and taunts Snuka with them. Piper with coconuts: “Here we go….one coconuttttt….two coconuttttttt…four coconutttts, ya wanna be a big shot? Ya know what, the only thing I didn’t get. I didn’t get a tree for you to climb up and down like a monkey, like ya wanna do. You want to be a big shot, I’ll get you a tree next time!” He then throws a banana in Snuka’s face and finally Jimmy speaks, softly. “Are you making fun of me?” Piper: “Am I making fun of you? No sir! No Sir!” At this point Piper smashes a coconut over Snuka’s head that sends him sprawling into the cheap Piper’s Pit set, knocking it down. Piper grabs a banana, kicks the set off Snuka and begins rubbing it in his face. Piper gets another banana, spits at him, then rubs another one in his face. Piper then takes his belt off and whacks Snuka in the back as a little box in the corner with a smiling Piper is shown. This must be the TNT replay of the incident rather than the actual broadcast. Piper keeps whipping Snuka repeatedly and taunting him to get up. Finally Snuka gets to his feet, screams in rage and chases Piper behind a locked door. Snuka pounds on the door but can’t get it open as Tito Santana and 2 others pry him away.

Now we cut to the TNT program where Piper was watching himself beat up Snuka. Vince is wearing a beige suit, Piper his normal kilt/shirt and Alfred in a hideous beige 70’s tux. Vince says it was a disgusting display and Piper cuts him off and says “I’m the legend destroyer”. 20 years before his bodyguard’s son became the legend killer. McMahon bitches that Roddy never gave Snuka a chance to speak and Piper points to Alfred and says Snuka is a bumbling idiot that doesn’t say anything like Alfred here. Piper says Snuka was lucky he didn’t get beat up more and he destroyed the legend. “I don’t care what you say (points to Vince) and I don’t care what you say (points to Alfred).” Alfred softly chimes in “I say this man without dignity. He adds nothing to the program.” Piper gets steaming mad and slaps Alfred across the face before storming off the set. Shocking how Vince didn’t have Alfred manage Snuka for the inevitable match but a match was in store. Let’s get to it.

 

Match 3

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper vs “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka

Commentators: Gene Okerlund and Alfred Hays

 May 25, 1984 deep in the heart of St. Louis (idiot Okerlund says we’re in Minneapolis but we’re not) in the Kiel Auditorium saw these two battle it out. To add the venue, former St. Louis wrestling legend Lou Thesz would be the special guest referee. It was due to the NWA refusing to take the world title off of Thesz which spawned not only the WWWF (Vince Sr wanted Buddy Rogers as NWA champ) but the AWA as well as Verne Gagne wanted his turn with the NWA belt but never got it. In BEST OF THE WWF VOLUME 1, Snuka vs Piper took place in August so this match on this tape predates that one. Snuka enters wearing a red robe but sheds it outside before entering, Piper removes his kilt to reveal the blue trunks. Thesz tries to keep them apart but Roddy attacks before the bell.  Piper punches him around the ring before ramming his head into the buckle. A right hand drops the Superfly before a double-chop to the ear disorients Jimmy, Piper gets in another right hand but Snuka rallies in the corner with kicks and a chop. Snuka chases Piper around the ring and he bails, much to the chagrin of the irate crowd. Roddy calls for timeout but Lou tells him to get back in. Back inside Snuka chops the Hot Rod until he begs off. He chokes him in the corner but when Thesz tries to pull him away, Piper gets in a knee to the gonads. Thesz threatens to disqualify Piper but the match continues. Roddy gets an inverted atomic drop then does the “I love you” sign to a chorus of boos. A knee lift drops Snuka and the cover only gets a 1. Piper complains about the count allowing Snuka to block a right hand and land one of his own. A chop and a right hand send Piper to the outside. This time Snuka follows only for Piper to grab a steel chair and nail him in the back. Thesz doesn’t DQ Piper and Hot Rod kicks away before getting back in the ring.  Piper continuously breaks up Lou’s attempt to count Snuka out so Thesz finally shoves Roddy away. Piper leans through the ropes and rams Jimmy’s head into the ring. Back inside a shoulder block drops Snuka but then Jimmy goes through his offense (2 leapfrogs and big chop) that sends Piper flying out of the ring. Snuka follows and rams Piper’s head into the ring bell. Jimmy grabs a chair and nails Piper in the head with it with no DQ called. Back inside Piper begs off but Snuka gets in a right hand and a jumping headbutt. Snuka goes for the running headbutt but Piper pulls Thesz in the way at the last second. Lou goes down but Snuka rallies with a chop and a backbreaker. Snuka goes up to the top rope and hits a flying crossbody. He goes back upstairs but Piper rolls on top of Lou. Piper rakes the eyes of Jimmy then takes Lou’s belt off. Roddy whips Snuka with the belt then chokes him with it until Thesz pries him off. Piper and Lou go nose to nose but Lou backs off, allowing Piper to clock him. Snuka grabs the belt and pelts Roddy with it with Thesz threatening to get a few shots in as well. Piper bails to the outside and heads for the hills. Thesz counts Roddy out and Snuka wins it. Fink announces Snuka the winner as Lou raises his hand in victory. Never thought I’d see Lou Thesz in a WWF ring but here he was. We go to the instant replay where Piper throws Thesz into Snuka’s running headbutt. Okerlund says “Piper pulling every bag out of his bag of tricks”….wow he’s worse than Alfred. Great, intense match with non-stop action actually.

 

Time of match: 6:53

Winner: Jimmy Snuka by count-out

 

Next we cut to a Roddy Piper promo where he’s holding a manila envelope. He says he’s going to read a letter, “Dear Mr Piper, I’m writing to ask your forgiveness for the actions of Jimmy Snuka. Please do not beat him up anymore as he’s a great man and he’s hurt. Sometimes he cries at night, I know, I can hear him. You see, he’s my dad. I love him very much, please don’t hurt him anymore.” He then crumples the letter and spits but Mean Gene cuts us off before Piper can finish the promo….what the hell? By the way, this was all a sham but if Jimmy’s 13 year old son really did write that letter, why didn’t the future Deuce beat the crap out of Piper whenever the legends were on Raw or Smackdown? Then again most younger fans would have been wondering why Deuce and Domino are beating up Piper and virtually none of them would have seen this segment.

Along the line, Piper “injured” Snuka and it opened the door for 19 year old Tonga Kid to get his first big push. Btw, Tonga Kid is the real life twin brother of Rikishi (although they are not identical) but he was billed as Snuka’s cousin. We go now to Piper’s Pit where Piper interviews the Kid and Roddy is wearing a t-shirt that says “Legend Killer” written on the back, he had Randy Orton beat by 20 years. Piper runs him down saying he’s wearing a “silly little skirt” and asks him why he’d wear one. Tonga lifts up Piper’s kilt and says “Well its obvious why you wear yours.” Oh snap! He cuts a promo saying just because Piper beat Jimmy doesn’t mean he can go through him. Piper counters saying he can and Tonga says “You broke Jimmy’s neck because you got lucky, why don’t you try and break my neck?” Tonga challenges him but Piper nonchalantly walks off as Tonga says he doesn’t impress anyone. The segment cuts here though and the match would be next. Before we go any further its time to play Six Degrees. After Piper was done with Snuka, he would face Tonga Kid. After he was done with him, he’d become number 1 heel by going after Cindy Lauper, Captain Lou, Mr T and Hogan. 2 years later he’d be in the movie Body Slam teaming WITH Tonga Kid while being managed by Dirk Bennedict, who played Faceman on A-Team which also starred Mr. T. Guess who was managing the heel tag team in the movie, Captain Lou Albano. Unrelated but The Barbarian/Headshrinker Sione and Teijho Khan (of Paul Jones’ Army fame) were the heel tag team in the movie. Funny how things work out in the wrestling business, let’s get to the match.

 

Match 4

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper vs The Tonga Kid (with Jimmy Snuka)

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and ???

    December 1, 1984 in the Philadelphia Spectrum saw Piper go it alone against Tonga (No Schultz, Orton or Orndorff…weird) . Snuka is wearing a yellow jumpsuit with Tonga Kid written on the back. Tonga himself is wearing zebra striped trunks and is barefoot. The bell rings and Piper charges quckly but goes knee first into the corner. They trade blows in the center of the ring before Tonga gets the advantage with a jumping headbutt. Jesus can’t he do something original? Its like watching a Jimmy Snuka match so far. Piper tries to bail but Tonga catches him and pulls him back in over the top rope by the hair. Monsoon’s color man keeps screaming wooooo like he’s Ric Flair the whole match. 2 headbutts and a right hand send Piper staggering into Snuka’s corner where he freezes, allowing Tonga to bring him back in. Piper begs off before getting a thumb to the eye. A right hand floors Tonga and Piper executes a backbreaker. The first cover of the match gets a long 2 count as Piper goes back to a right hand. Tonga inexplicably gets up and starts moonwalking before rallying with right hands. A side headlock attempt is thwarted by a Piper back suplex. Piper follows with a blatant choke and rakes him  off the top rope in front of Jimmy. Piper spits at Snuka  and nails Tonga with a right hand. A double chop to the ears stuns Tonga and Piper gets in a front headlock. A TAPE EDIT now shows Tonga powering out of it. Tonga gets a snap suplex on Piper and nails him in the ribs with a punch. Piper rams Tonga into the top turnbuckle and he no-sells it (just like his twin brother would do for 20 years). Tonga no sells it and moonwalks away. Piper tries to bail but Tonga catches him. More right hands follow that send Piper through the ropes and to the outside. Again, add in the leapfrogs and big chop and this is like watching a Snuka match. Piper pulls Tonga under the bottom rope as a popcorn vendor strolls by. Piper sends Tonga into the ring post and whacks him with a steel chair. Snuka comes over to investigate and Piper runs away. When Snuka turns his back Piper runs over and nails him. Piper tosses Tonga back inside but Snuka leaps over the top rope and stalks Piper. They trade blows as referee Joey Marella just stands there watching. All of a sudden Bob Orton Jr runs-in and evens the odds. Marella calls for the bell as a brawl ensues. Piper and Orton drop Tonga but Snuka rallies. Tonga revives and the babyfaces clean house, chasing Piper away. Ring announcer Mel Phillips (wearing an absolutely awful blue 70’s tuxedo) announces the match a draw. A high impact 5 minutes that set the tone for the next (and final) match on the tape. Tonga looked like a cheap Snuka knockoff here which is probably why he would be released shortly after this angle would complete. The word on the street was the big payoffs he was getting from working with Piper went to his 19 year old head and had to be fired to be taught a lesson in humility. Not sure if that’s true but it would make sense as he would resurface in 1987 as Tama the Islander, nowhere near the top of the card as he was in 1984.

 

Time of match: 5:12

Winner: No one (Double DQ)

 

Match 5

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper and “Cowboy” Bob Orton vs “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka and The Tonga Kid

Commentators: Gene Okerlund and Gorilla Monsoon.

  Madison Square Garden, December 28. 1984 exactly 4 weeks after the last match took place. The heels enter first with Snuka and Tonga in matching red samoan entrance gear following shortly after. The faces rush the ring and clear out not only Piper and Orton but Howard Finkel as well before he’s finished the introductions. Tonga’s in the pink tights as Jimmy’s not in his standard leopard print trunks but rather multicolored trunks. Piper’s in his standard blue with Orton in the red trunks. A brawl develops as the bell rings with the faces getting the upper hand. Tonga and Snuka whip Piper and Orton together. Orton goes down but Piper stays on his feet. A jumping headbutt by Jimmy floors Piper and Orton walks into a jumping headbutt by Tonga. Orton clears and Tonga gets in a wristlock on Piper (big improvement over the first match). Piper begs off as Tonga really synchs it in. Piper sends Tonga off who somersaults under a back elbow from Piper and catches him with a crossbody for 1..2….no. Tonga armdrags Piper and locks in the armbar before dropping a leg on him. Nice to see some actual wrestling ability in here. Snuka taunts Piper from the outside but Roddy overpowers Tonga and tags in Orton. Bob eats a few armdrags but nails the rookie with a right hand. Tonga reverses an irish whip and sends Orton off the corner where Cowboy runs into a powerslam. The cover only gets a one count as Snuka tags in. Jimmy goes to work on the left arm and shoulder as 2 big right hands from Orton do nothing, Snuka no-sells. A third right hand also does nothing as Snuka counters with a headbutt. Another arm ringer is synched in and Piper tries to short arm the tag only for Orton to make it to the corner, reluctantly putting Piper in the match. Piper wants no part of Snuka at first but then they trade punches in the center of the ring. Snuka gets in a chop and a headbutt that decks Piper and a rushing Orton gets scoop slammed for his interference. Snuka one arm slams Piper then drops a fist on him. Piper begs off and tries to escape but Snuka brings him back in. Snuka gets in a right hand but Piper goes to the stooges eye poke to stop the momentum. Roddy staggers over and makes the tag to Orton. Bob gets a few elbows to the back of the head in his slow, methodical style. A bolo punch is followed by a scoop slam. Orton goes to the top rope to attempt a Vader bomb but Snuka gets the knees up in time. Orton makes the tag to Piper as Tonga gets the hot tag as well. Tonga rallies with right hands and a headbutt before finishing with a savate kick (finally something new). Piper begs off but shoulderblocks Tonga into his corner where he and Orton doubleteam the kid. Orton tags in and baits Snuka, allowing for Piper to choke Tonga in the corner with the tag rope.  Orton lands a right hand then tags in Piper where they execute a double clothesline. Piper taunts Snuka before faking a tag to allow Orton to come off the top with a forearm to the back. Orton measures him for an elbow to the face…wham!  Piper makes the tag and applies a hammerlock. The heels make frequent tags to unload on the left arm of Tonga. The crowd starts heaving garbage at the ring with Piper and Orton continuing to work over the left arm. Finally Tonga nearly breaks free but Orton cuts off his partner when he nails Snuka off the apron. Piper drops Tonga with a thrust to the throat and covers 1,,2,,,no, the arrogant cover gets 2. Piper goes to the rear chinlock as Okerlund and Monsoon overhype Tonga as totally improved since he first started a year earlier. Monsoon says he’s done it all in the last 10 months….even though he’s yet to win a single title belt. Compare that to Diesel who won the IC, Tag and World title within a 6 month period from May-November 1994. Tonga begins to power out of it as a marquee reads “Ice Capades”. Monsoon “Piper almost terminated the career of Snuka, I want to see him get his upcoming.” Okerlund “Comeuppance” Monsoon “Whatever.” Piper rams Tonga into Orton’s elbow then chops him in the throat again. Orton tags in, Piper holds Tonga and Bob comes off the top with a forearm to the face. Orton taunts Snuka but runs into a sunset flip for 1..2…NOOO. Orton quickly targets the forehead of Tonga with right hands, Orton rams the back of Tonga’s head into the mat and covers for a deuce when Snuka interferes and breaks up the count. Piper phantom tags himself in only for Tonga to counter a backdrop attempt by kicking Roddy in the face. Tonga stumbles into the wrong corner where Orton cuts him off. Tonga rallies with right hands, slips under the legs of Orton and gets the hot tag to Snuka. Jimmy cleans house with a double noggin knocker and big chops. Snuka fends off both Piper and Orton but shoves the referee as well. Snuka sends Orton upside down in the corner and makes the cover. Tonga intercepts Piper 1…..2..nope. For some reason the referee abandoned the count when Tonga interfered. All four men go at it as Piper shoves down the ref this time. Piper backdrops Tonga over the top and out as Orton goes for the superplex. Piper catches a breather on the second rope as Snuka headbutts Orton off. Snuka catches Bob with a crossbody for 1…2..nope, Piper breaks up the count. Orton and Piper throw Snuka over the top rope as Tonga takes his place. The referee is like a deer caught in the headlights, doesn’t know what to do. Orton goes upstairs but Snuka shoves him off into Piper. The faces run into each other outside the ring and Superfly goes into beast mode. Another brawl develops in the ring and Snuka tosses him down. He signals for the bell and this one’s over. Snuka cleans house of the heels and the tape ends right then and there. Kind of a crappy tag match but again, this was to showcase Piper’s crew and it served its purpose.

 

Time of match: 15:14

Winners: No one (Double DQ)

  The credits roll and we’re done with this one. Time for the previews: BEST OF THE WWF VOLUME 4, THE AMAZING MANAGERS and WRESTLING’S COUNTRY BOYS. What a revolutionary tape. Sure the Fabulous Freebirds were the first cool heels but Piper had Ric Flair beat by a solid year as top heel in wrestling. His Piper’s Pits were legendary and he refused to job to anyone, making him just as big of an egomaniac as Hogan. Still, for a tape that’s titled GREATEST HITS, it delivered. Piper was entertaining in nearly everything he did and Vince McMahon was a few marketing ideas away from creating the first 4 Horsemen in Piper, Schultz, Orndorff and Orton. Still, I give this tape 4.5 stars out of 5 and the .5 comes from the fact the matches are rather low quality. Important matches yes but not the best in ring work I’ve seen from the time period. This is a must see for every wrestling fan to show how over heels could and should be without looking like clowns. The next tape after this is BEST OF THE WWF VOLUME 3 so pick that one up next.