Biggest, Smallest, Strangest, Strongest (WF008)

WWF’S BIGGEST, SMALLEST, STRANGEST, STRONGEST (WF008)

 

 After BEST OF THE WWF #2 comes BIGGEST, SMALLEST, STRANGEST, STRONGEST which apparently is highlighting the big guys, the small guys, the weirdos and the Herculeans. This is just a guess but since this is 4 tapes after WRESTLEMANIA (March) and a few before THE WRESTLING CLASSIC (November), I’d say this tape came out in the summer of 1985. What was setting the WWF apart at this point in time were tapes like this. Classic promoters like Verne Gagne and Jim Crockett kept their business old school with attention on their main stars meanwhile down in Texas, World Class was scoring by filming vignettes and highlighting even the midcarders in an attempt to get them over. Even though Hulk Hogan was the champion and Greg “The Hammer” Valentine was the IC Champion, this tape is highlighting a lot of other guys who’d never dethrone Hogan (or Valentine for that matter) or draw money in main event slots. Vince was also aware that the exposure these guys would get would stir interest in the product and with that, away we go. Cue the 1985 awesome intro and then to our host Jesse “The Body” Ventura. Ventura says WWF is getting smart by having him host this tape after he hosted MOST UNUSUAL MATCHES. Ventura shows us a highlight package of what we’re going to see before sending us to our first match between Andre and Samu…highlighting the biggest and the strangest first apparently.

 

Our first match is apparently some time in 1983 which means Samu is either 20 years old or about to turn it. The Wild Samoans Afa and Sika were the current tag team champions but Sika got hurt and his replacement was Afa’s son Samu (using the Freebird rule). Now Samu may look young at 20 but he had been performing for 6 years prior under the guidance of his father and uncle so he’s no rookie. Samu is hesitant to lock up with Andre (who’s wearing the red tights today). Vince says Andre is the only undefeated wrestler today (which turned into the greatest moneymaking angle ever 4 years later) as they finally lock up. Andre heaves Samu in the corner before a scared looking Samu goes to lock up again. Andre applies an armbar until Samu makes it to the ropes. Okerlund finally joins in on commentary as Samu tries a go-behind. Andre uses his girth to power out of it as Samu flies backwards in slow motion. Then the segment ends right there….so this tape is like that huh, no full matches just highlights? Ventura sends us to our next one.

 

The next highlighted match is the September 21, 1964 match between 40 year old Bobo Brazil and 46 year old Freddie Blassie covered in Best of WWF Volume 2. Ventura makes a historical perspective saying back in the 50’s the billed 6 foot 8 (real life 6’6) Brazil was a giant of a man compared to other wrestlers of that era. Nowadays with Kevin Nash, Great Khali, Giant Gonzalez, Big Show and even Andre the 6’8 Brazil doesn’t sound too intimidating but back then he most certainly was. Brazil was also known as the Jackie Robinson of wrestling which paved the way for black wrestlers such as Bearcat Wright, Ernie Ladd and in modern times Booker T and Kofi Kingston. The segment just has a few eye gouges from Brazil and its nothing special, I’d have much rather seen Blassie bite him or Brazil’s manager James Dudley wave his towel around.

 

Ventura then sends us to our next big and strange wrestler, the legendary Haystacks Calhoun. Calhoun was one of the first successful Hillbilly gimmicks and he was one of the biggest men ever by tipping the scales at over 600 pounds. He was billed at 6’4 but was really 6’1 but he damn well looked 6’4. The first highlight is the 6 man tag match already covered in MOST UNUSUAL MATCHES. Calhoun chases Strong Kobayashi and Moose Monroe around the ring as Peter Maivia and Larry Zybysko, Butcher Vachon tries to interfere when Monroe locked in a full nelson but retreats quickly.

 

Cut to a highlight package of “The Big Cat” Ernie Ladd. The first NFL player (but not the last) to successfully cross-over into pro wrestling. Ladd was a monstrosity in the NFL at 6’9 and over 300 pounds in the 60’s and 70’s. He’d fit right in almost 50 years later NOW in the NFL. He’s shown here beating the crap of legendary jobber Frankie Williams and some other enhancement talent I don’t recognize. Oh and The Grand Wizard of wrestling is patrolling outside the ring for his protege Ladd. For those who don’t know….combine Pat Patterson with Jim Cornette’s outfits and Bobby Heenan’s wit and you have an idea what Wizard was like. Very flamboyant, very homosexual and one of the greatest managers to ever set foot in the business.

 

We now cut to even older footage of “The Russian Bear” Ivan Koloff. Ventura explains being big doesn’t always mean really tall as the 5’10 Koloff proved. Koloff
gained exposure when he defeated Bruno Sammartino for the WWWF Championship on January 18, 1971 ending the near 8 year reign of Bruno. However, he was only a transitional champion as Vince McMahon Sr wanted to take the belt off the Italian Bruno and put it on another international superstar Pedro Morales of Puerto Rico. Koloff is shown here beating up a jobber with his massive arms.

 

Cut to a familiar face, Gorilla Monsoon. Monsoon was one of the top super heavyweights of his era, although he was primarily used to enhance the midcard heels to star status in order to meet the babyface champion (Morales or Sammartino). Modern day equivalents are Jake Roberts, John Morrison and anyone in WCW from 95-98 with the exception of Goldberg. He’s shown here headlocking The Wolfman during their 1971 match before chopping him down. A big splash gets a 3 as Ventura called it the Manchurian Landslide.

 

Now for a more familiar setting, Piper’s Pit with Piper being backed into a corner by SD Jones and Blackjack Mulligan. Ventura bills Mulligan at 6’9 (which is bullshit because he’s just a few inches taller than Roddy Piper who’s no more than 6’2) and we cut to Piper trash talking him. Piper “If you think you can intimidate me, you’re full of bologna like every other Texan I ever met!” Mulligan calls him horse manure before the segment cuts out. What gives? That looked to be fun. Oh well, on with the show.

 

Hulk Hogan finally makes his appearance in the next segment which highlights “Big” John Studd. Ventura bills Studd at 6’10 350 pounds (more BS as he’s 6’7 in reality) and tries to bail out the fact they’re the same height by saying that Hogan is shorter (he’s not) but is more defined (now that’s true) which apparently makes him bigger than Studd. Jesse can’t resist taking a shot at the champ and calls him “The Incredible Chump Hogan”. Monsoon is on commentary with Howard Finkel of all people. Studd pounds away at Hogan until they do the force meeting object routine. They try to slam each other to no avail before Hogan ducks under a big elbow with one of his own. Hogan rallies with punches before delivering THE BIG BOOT! Hogan goes for a slam but can’t lift him as the segment cuts.

 

On to Nikolai Volkoff who was one of the legitimate freakishly strong men of his era. We are shown a highlight of Volkoff executing a backbreaker on 280 pound Joe something (which is in 1985 Montage that I love so much) and getting the pin as an ecastic Iron Sheik looks on.

 

King Kong Bundy makes an appearance taking on future suit brigade member Tony Garea on June 21, 1985. Bundy beats the crap out of Garea as Monsoon says he weighed 440 at his heaviest and Bundy is close to 500. In a classic formula, they were building up Bundy as a monster only to have Hogan eventually beat him and then never gave a damn what happened to him after. Bundy floors Garea with a series of shoulderblocks as the segment ends.

 

On to the strange ones as Hillbilly Jim gets some screen time.  Ventura actually hypes up the upcoming WRESTLING’S COUNTRY BOYS tape in saying Jim will be highlighted more on that one. On here Jim is taking on another future suit brigade member Renee Goulet who was in the process of experimenting with a Michael Jackson type heel turn that didn’t get over and apparently bored the living crap out of Bret Hart. Jim brawls with Goulet as Monsoon and Okerlund hype him up on commentary. Hillbilly Jim lands a headbutt that sends Goulet flopping himself on the top rope. Jim delivers another headbutt that sends Goulet crashing to the mat. Goulet “Flair Flips” into the corner then runs upstairs only to get caught in a bearhug upon jumping. Goulet submits as Jim is announced the winner.

 

Back to Piper’s Pit as Jim rants and raves about Piper as “Cowboy” Bob Orton looks on. Jim says he’s got a surprise for Piper and introduces Uncle Elmer. The veteran Stan Frazier was hired to form a stable with Jim and “Cousin Luke” and Jim’s a big dude but Elmer towers over everyone. Piper pulls a classic heel move by back pedaling “Wellllll any friend of yours is a friend of mine” but Elmer sees right through him and says “Get yo hands off of me boy!” Elmer was a legitimate 6 foot 10 and weighed well over 400 pounds. Unfortunately by 1985 he was 47 years old and nearing the end of his career. Still, he had his moments by getting married on live TV and having an entertaining match with Adrian Adonis at Wrestlemania 2.

 

From the biggest and strangest to the smallest as we head for the midget matches. We got Ivan the Terrible and Billy The Kid taking on Tiny Tom and Butch Cassidy on August 27, 1979……wouldn’t Cassidy and Billy have made a better team? Anyway Ventura says that just because they’re midgets doesn’t mean they’re not good wrestlers. He’s not kidding, Ivan The Terrible is built like Ivan Koloff on a smaller frame and Butch Cassidy is the spitting image of a fun sized Kevin Von Erich. Ventura says the midgets are the smallest and also the fastest as well as Ivan chases his own partner around the ring.

 

Onto a more familiar faces, Tiger Jackson (known more famously as Dink The Clown) teams up with The Haiti Kid to take on Pancho Boy and Dana Carpenter on February 14, 1984. I already mentioned Tiger was Dink the Clown and we all know the exploits of Haiti Kid in the WWF (managing Mr. T and getting his head shaved by the nefarious Piper and Orton). No idea who Pancho Boy is apart from the pornstache but Dana Carpenter was trained by Killer Kowalski and was later a police officer in Holbrook, MA until his death in 2009. Haiti Kid headlocks Pancho and shoulderblocks him down twice. Standard midget tactics with Tiger and Dana stealing the show. I’d have to say the midget matches have been entertaining segments.

 

Now for the most famous of the midgets, Sky Low Low teams up with the before-mentioned Cassidy to take on Little Beaver and Sonny Boy Hayes on November 22, 1982. Beaver and Low Low revolutionized midget wrestling in the 60’s and 70’s until Beaver’s real life brother Tiger Jackson and Little Louie came along. Little Beaver is sporting an Iron Sheik like gut as he demonstrates to the ref what his partner did NOT do and then punches the ref in the nose. Vince makes a lame joke as we get more standard midget action which confuses the crap out of McMahon on commentary. Cassidy continually bites Hayes on the leg so Hayes counters by biting Cassidy on the ass. Cassidy scrambles to the corner and tags in Low Low. Beaver tags in and we got both legends in the ring. Low Low executes a dropkick then runs into a very impressive gorilla press slam by Beaver. These midgets are no slouches in the power department. The cover by Beaver gets 3 as Monsoon speculates Low Low had the wind knocked out of him.

 

We go further back in time to February 18, 1971 to see Little Joey and Frenchie Lamont take on Little Brutus and Low Low. Brutus and Low Low actually trained Tiger Jackson and Lamont was rumored to have picked up Gorilla Monsoon in a fireman’s carry and walked around a hotel room with him on the little guy’s shoulders. The ring announcer says the match is 2 out of 3 falls with a 45 minute time limit….imagine sitting through THAT. A very young Vince McMahon on commentary narrates the standard midget action.  Low Low uses classic midget heel tactics. They trade pinfall combos with the ref refusing to count. Joey puts Sky in a fireman’s carry until the heels doubleteam Joey. Low Low tags in and Joey punches him down. Brutus tags in and prevents Joey from making the tag. Brutus punches and kicks until Joey sommersaults into his corner to tag in Lamont. Frenchie chases Brutus around the ring then delivers a chop. Frenchie heaves Brutus into his corner and he makes the tag to Low Low. Low Low’s hesitant to get in the ring so Frenchie brings him in the hard way. Frenchie chases Low Low around the ring and Brutus tags in. Brutus backdrops and slams Frenchie. Brutus victory rolls Frenchie and hooks the tights for 1…2…3 to win the match. If it sounds like a lousy ending, oh well…that’s how things went in the 70’s.

 

Now for the strangest. We begin with The Rugged Russians According to Ventura the Russian’s manager was the first to dance in the ring (got Slick beat by 15 years) and they’d have several pre-match rituals which has Yokozuna beat by 20 years. Ventura says they used to eat garlic before the match and tried to win their matches by breathing on the opponents. These 2 goofballs do a shadowboxing routine as the segment ends.

 

We go back to Monsoon’s opponent from earlier, The Wolfman. Ventura “Look at this guy. I mean I’M an expert on strange and lemme tell you this guy is a member of the club. This is strange and Jesse The Body knows strange.” We go back to the match he had with Monsoon only this time they show Wolfman getting the upperhand with illegal tactics.

 

Our next guest is Pampero Firpo the wildman from Argentina. Believe it or not, he was the first guy to use the catchphrase “OHHHH YEAHHHH” before Randy Savage popularized it. He won a couple NWA titles in the 60’s including some bloodbaths with The Sheik. Firpo took on the likes of Antonino Rocca, Randy Star and Bruno himself back in the day. Ventura breaks kayfabe by saying Firpo was actually a highly educated guy that spoke 6 languages….ironic given how Monsoon was portrayed as a gorilla when he himself is very articulate. Firpo is shown beating the crap out of someone before we cut.

 

On to “Crazy” Luke Graham of the Graham family. These guys were the original Dudley Boys in the sense they were all related in the storylines yet none of them actually were in reality. The most well known of the group was Dr. Jerry Graham (a mainstay of the WWWF) and of course “Superstar” Billy Graham. When Dr Jerry, Luke and Billy traveled down south, they appeared as relatives of Eddie and Mike in Championship Wrestling from Florida. In this bout, Crazy Luke is being assisted by his manager Grand Wizard in beating up enhancement talent. We then go to an interview with Graham and Wizard conducted by Vince Jr. Wizard says being a winner makes you fabulous and Graham promises to “get the belt back” that was “stolen from my brother” which is a reference to Bob Backlund dethroning Billy Graham in 1978. Wizard says Luke is number one contender (shows you how far WWWF had fallen in talent without Bruno, Pedro, Billy Graham and others who entertained fans in New York throughout the 70’s.. Actually not to go on a rant but you go back to 1979 and the number one promotion qualitywise wasn’t the NWA or WWWF, I’d give the nod to the AWA who had Hogan, Andre, Bockwinkel, Stevens, Okerlund, Heenan and others. Vince Jr interrogates Grand Wizard for his shady tactics and Wizard says Vince’s eyes need to be checked. Wizard says Vince Jr is Bob Backlund’s number 1 fan which is hilarious considering he was desperate to put the belt on Hogan as soon as he signed him. Graham then holds up a sign that says The Grand Wizard is the Manager of Champions with pictures of Stan Stasiak and Billy Graham on it. This was back when heels weren’t supposed to be cool to show you how special the Wizard was. Wizard then names his proteges including The Masked Destroyer and Jerry Blackwell (who was more known in the AWA). Vince “How do you explain the boos from the fans when you two enter?” Wizard “The booze in the fans cause them to boo.” The Wizard was something else, it was a shame he left us too early in 1982.

 

The next highlighted star is another oddity, Maurice “Mad Dog” Vachon. Greg Gagne once called him a “frickin lunatic!” and he was right on the money. Despite being one of Canada’s greatest amateur wrester’s in the 40’s, he was one of the founding fathers of the hardcore style with Freddie Blassie and John Tolos. Eventually Vachon dethroned Verne Gagne to reign as AWA heavyweight champion. He then had one of those inexplicable face turns where the fans simply cheered him for no good reason so Verne ran with it. In the intro, Ventura even goes as far to say that for some reason fans in Minneapolis made him a cult figure. This clip is from June 17, 1984 and Mad Dog gets a big babyface reaction from the crowd. Buddy Colt cuts him off and stomps away at him. Gene Okerlund goes silent on commentary until Gorilla Monsoon takes over. Colt has a playboy bunny on his tights which doesn’t impress Mad Dog who begins to bite the poor guy.

 

We then go to Mr. Fuji and Moondog Spot, part of the famous Moondogs (think american version of Wild Samoans). This came from a segment on TNT where Lord Alfred Hays invited Vince McMahon Jr, Mr. Fuji and The British Bulldogs to a tea party…yes of course I’m serious. Fuji brings along Spot and smashes a dish over his head. Mr. Fuji “This is cheap china, this is not Japenese china!” He then instructs Spot to tear the place apart and smash everything with his bone as Davey Boy looks confused. Alfred “Vince, why did you bring such an oaf?” Vince “YOU brought him!”

 

Now here’s a strange highlight, none other than Mil Mascaras. The Hulk Hogan of Mexico is seen here in a tag team with Bobo Brazil hitting a flying bodypress on Dick Murdoch (with Adrian Adonis in the other corner). Mascaras really was the Hogan of Mexico as he put himself on top for years after his prime was over. In fact he was still headlining in the 90’s when his heydey was in the 70’s. Oh and his nephew happens to be current WWE Champion (9/9/11) Alberto Del Rio. Mascaras goes to town on Adonis causing Adrian to do his over the top rope/catching arms in the ropes spot. Mascaras would later compete in WCW and even take part in the 1997 Royal Rumble (though he was much more beefier by then).

 

Our next guest needs no introduction to strange, Captain Lou Albano. This guy wrote the book on strange but luckily we all know him so no need to explain his background. Albano actualy managed far more champions than Wizard ever did and he’s shown here with Mr Fuji and Mr Saito when they captured the titles. Monsoon “He is the greatest walking advertisement for birth control.” Next is his classic interview already covered in BLOOPERS, BLEEPS AND BODYSLAMS where he claims he doesn’t need deoderant. We then are shown Jimmy Snuka beating the crap out of him with chops and headbutts.

 

On to Nikolai Volkoff singing the Soviet National anthem as the crowd pelts the ring with garbage. Ever wonder why Nikolai sings the anthem? This ritual started in another territory when he used to simply play a tape of the anthem over the sound system. Then one day he lost the tape and came up with a different idea, he’d just sing it himself! 30 years later it still is good for cheap heat.

 

On to the strange fashion portion where Adrian Adonis wears an S & M style leather jacket (with the NY Yankees logo) while Big John Studd walks behind him and is flanked by Dick Murdoch. Sadly, none of these guys would live beyond 1996. Iron Sheik and Ayatollah Blassie’s turbans are also highlighted. Next up is Brutus Beefcake and his strange attire (with Johnny V barking at a referee). Up next is JYD’s entrance at Wrestlemania 1 complete with the giant chain. Surprised they haven’t shown Jimmy Hart yet other than hiding behind Greg Valentine. Up next are the Indian headdresses of Jay and Jules Strongbow, the WWWF Tag Team Champions. Hulk Hogan’s t-shirt is highlighted for some reason…oh wait, there’s his infamous match with Okerlund as a partner…yikes. Ah there’s Roddy Piper’s t-shirt as he takes on Tonga Kid in the Philadelphia Spectrum. There’s Jimmy Hart, I knew it was a matter of time. Freddie Blassie in his red sequined Wrestlemania 1 jacket followed by Cyndi Lauper’s Wrestlemania entrance. Greg Valentine’s blue robe looks flashy in the Spectrum and of course Bobby Heenan’s squined jacket from Wrestlemania. Johnny V is back wearing ridiculous sunglasses on TNT with Vince McMahon Jr. Speaking of ridiculous sunglasses, there’s Fabulous Moolah. The Moondogs enter getting booed by the crowd. Finally the star of the show, Jesse “The Body” Ventura who pretty much stole everything “Superstar” Billy Graham ever did.

 

On to a segment on the January 15, 1985 editon of TNT where Ken Patera, Bobby Heenan and Big John Studd cut a midget’s hair. No its not The Haiti Kid, I don’t recognize the little guy. First Heenan sprays bug spray in the dude’s hair and says “Its like the roach motel, you check in but you don’t check out.” Then Patera raises the seat up then Studd suggests to put the seatbelt on. Vince is confused but then protests when Patera and Heenan tie the guy up. We then get a TAPE EDIT (really?) and now the guy is covered in goo, even Vince is protests. Patera then soaks the midget with a sink faucet while Studd sprays more goop on the back of the guys neck. Vince tries to be the babyface but Heenan and Patera keep making wisecracks and Vince bursts out laughing. Heenan “I don’t know what this stuff is but I’m sure it’ll help” He dumps a jar of blue gel on him. Studd then grabs baby powder and powders the guys head with Heenan telling him to do it harder. Patera then grabs the bottle, opens it up and dumps the whole thing on the guy.

 

We then look at newcomers and the first highlighted is Mad Maxine, better known as Lady Maxine from the Mid-South and Fuller territories. She was 6’2 with a mohawk and leather gear, think Luna Vachon only as tall as Lex Luger. Actually she, Luna and Peggy Lee Pringle all worked together in Florida. She had a brief run in the WWF working with Fabulous Moolah but she left to pursue journalism. Actually she would work some territories before retiring for good in 1987 where she became an actual journalist. It’s a shame for wrestling fans because she was truly unique. The next highlighted is The Missing Link aka Dewey Robertson. He was better known for competing in World Class but he had a vignette here, managed by Bobby Heenan. Vince is wearing a bright red suit and Alfred Hays is with him. The set they are on would be later used for Ultimate Warrior shit but for now it’s the “cave” that Link lives in. Vince asks Link why he looks so weird and Link freaks out at the sight of the microphone in his face. Missing Link was pretty much a variation of the Kamala and George Steele gimmicks. Speaking of Steele, he’s highlighted next. He eats a turnbuckle and attacks Steve Lombardi with the stuffings. Ventura’s voiceover reminds us that he was once number 1 contender to Bruno Sammartino in the 60’s and 70’s, one of the hottest feuds the Boston Garden ever saw. Steele pulls more stuffing out of the corner and rakes Lombardi’s face with it. He finds another turnbuckle, bites it open and chokes Lombardi with it in the corner. Referee Dick Woehrle’s expression says it all. Steele heaves Lombardi over the top rope to the floor then into the guardrail. Steele actually bites a piece of the top rope which is disgusting when you think about how many sweaty backs are thrown against or over the top of it.

 

Jesse tells us before we get to the “feats of strength” not to try this at home. 20 years ahead of the “Don’t try this at home” campaign. We begin with Bepo Mongol putting the claw hold on Bruno Sammartino in their 1970 championship match. Who is this strange man that has little patches of hair as horns on his head? Why its none other than Nikolai Volkoff! Bepo was one of his first gimmicks after coming over from his native Croatia. He and Sammartino go at it and when they collide, Sammartino is sent flying out of the ring. Now we cut to a famous arm wrestling contest between Ivan Putski and Jesse “The Body” Ventura from July 20, 1984. Putski was the poster child for steroids in the 1980’s because he looked absolutely nothing like he did 5-6 years earlier when challenging “Superstar” Billy Graham for the WWWF Championship. Looks like we’re going to see this in its entirety. Ventura enters wearing the purple turban, purple tie dye shirt and black tights. Ventura checks the table and the two folding chairs set up in the ring. Jesse draws some heel heat by wiping his outlandish shades on the referee’s shirt. Jesse sheds his shirt, turban and shades then the two of them pose for the crowd. The roided up Putski is clearly superior but Ventura was no stranger to roids either. An irate Ventura shouts at Tony Garea doing commentary with Vince McMahon. Ventura stalls twice for heel heat and then Putski returns the favor. Ventura goes beserk, throwing down his chair while Ivan struts around the ring. Finally they both sit down and we’re ready to go. Ventura gets the early advantage but Putski storms back to nearly put Jesse down only for The Body to cheat, grabbing the other side of the table while the ref wasn’t looking to regain the advantage. Jesse almost puts Ivan down but once again Putski comes back, nearly putting Jesse down until Ventura cheats again. Putski screams and has Jesse almost down when Ventura pulls him across the table and delivers an elbow to the back of the head. He grabs the steel chair he was sitting in and clobbers Ivan several times in the head and back before putting the boots to him. Jesse throws the ref down and spits at the fallen Putski. He poses with one foot on his chest as the crowd tosses garbage in the ring. Jesse was on his way to being one of the top heels for the WWF but blood clots ended his career at the age of 33 in 1984. Then he became one of the most famous color commentators in wrestling history.

 

We go to the Iron Sheik’s harem for a Persian club demonstration. Vince is wearing a beige suit and he’s sitting cross-legged next to a woman in a red dress who almost looks like Miss Elizabeth. Sheik is wearing his blue trunks and boots as he speaks in Farci before picking up the clubs. He swings the clubs for about a minute before Vince forces him to stop. Vince asks how much each club weighs and Sheik answers 75 pounds. That’s how strong Sheik was, he could legitimately swing 75 pound clubs over his head for long periods of time. It should be noted there was only one wrestler that was able to do it with him, Bob Backlund.

 

Now we’re with Vince and Big John Studd and Studd’s going to bench press for us. Vince is wearing a normal suit while Studd has on a yellow, Gold’s gym wife-beater. Studd says the world’s record for bench press is 686 pounds and to start off he’s going to do 630. Studd says to send the tape of this to Hogan and Andre to show them how its done. Remember the jobber that Billy Graham famously broke his hip against? Well he’s a real life friend of Studd and he’s going to help Vince spot for Studd. They barely are able to get the weight bench off and Studd says “ahhh what a lousy liftoff, ok I got it.” Studd gives us a rep as Vince says that was impressive. Studd “You haven’t seen nothing yet!” Studd asks what Hogan’s doing now as he adds two 35 pound plates to the bench. This makes it 700 even as Studd says “some nobody” set the record. It was actually future WWF competitor Ted Arcidi that set the record and had the legitimate claim to be “World’s Strongest Man”. Vince asks what would happen if he can’t bench the weight and it falls on his chest. Vince tells the audience Studd will set the world record if he can get it up. Vince and the jobber lift off and Studd says “lousy liftoff but I got it” but can’t do it. Vince and the spotter put the bench back as Studd blames the jobber. Studd wants another try but Vince says nope. We cut to the TNT set with Bruno Sammartino being interviewed when Studd storms on the set and demands Bruno spot him. Vince asks Bruno if he’s ok with it and Bruno says he benched 585 once and felt 600 was impossible, let alone 700. Studd “Lousy equipment, lousy bench, lousy weights!” Vince asks Studd what goes through his mind as he attempts to set a record and Studd gets up and cuts a promo. A simple “nothing” would have been just fine. Bruno and Vince lift off and John says that liftoff was lousy as well. Studd actually benches it and Vince is impressed. Studd says Andre wouldn’t be able to do it. We cut here and its obvious he wasn’t benching 700 pounds because if he really did set the world record, people would have known about it. Ted Arcidi benched 700 pounds raw (raw means no gimmick shirts or wrist straps, just straight up muscle power) for real.

 

The final segments are about Ken Patera but before that we see Tony Atlas posing for the Madison Square Garden crowd. Patera was a legitimate olympic power-lifter, qualifying in the 1972 Olympics. He was the US National weightlifting champion 3 years in a row (69-71) prior to that. He finished 3^rd in the World’s Strongest Man competition in 1977 as well. Patera and Atlas pose for the crowd before Patera rushes only to be knocked backwards out of the ring. Ken hugs Bobby on the floor then gets back in…only to bail out again as we end there. We then cut to older footage with Vince McMahon wearing a ridiculous piss yellow suitcoat and green pants next to Ken in a green Olympic powerlifting singlet. Vince asks Ken what kind of feat of strength he’s going to do but Patera cuts him off to tell the crowd to shut up. “They’re getting to me, the louder they shout the more my opponent suffers.” There’s heel heat without being corny or silly. Ken then says he’s going to take a 6 inch spike and with his bare hands, try to ram it through the sturdiest wood in the world. He says a lot of guys can break wood with their fists or feet but they don’t drive spikes barehanded. Vince brings up how this particular stunt was banned from powerlifting events because of difficulty but the crowd starts chanting “We want Putski!” to piss Ken off. A TAPE EDIT now shows Ken getting ready to do it….*drumroll*….and he does it. Ken “You can pass that around to the geeks out there that I did it but don’t let them keep it because they’ll throw it back at me.” A TAPE EDIT now says he’s going to bend a 6 inch stainless steel bolt with his bare hands. He says that when he does the giant swing, the most important aspect is the hand strength, not the back or legs. This is apparently how he practices hand strength. He tells the crowd to shut up again. He wraps a hand towel around it so he doesn’t legitimately rip his hands and then bends the damn thing in half. “Let’s see Putski do that!” Another TAPE EDIT now shows Patera trying to blow up a hot water bottle until it pops. He says he does it to improve his lung strength and then shouts at the crowd “How are your lungs, they’re probably filled with cigarette smoke!” He blows…and blows…and blows…..POP! Patera staggers around and then shouts at the crowd again. We now cut to a different segment with Alfred wearing a light blue suit he probably stole from Vince. Vince is wearing a beige leisure suit (ugh) as Ken is in a red tanktop and white 80’s short workout shorts (yeesh). Ken is going to attempt to block a 5200 pound mini-van with just his legs. Vince is skeptical as Ken asks Vince to drive the truck and that he’s not liable if something goes wrong. Vince hands the mic to Alfred and Ken explains he’s going to put a pillow behind his back for support. Vince honks the horn as Ken tells him to hold his horses. Ken explains he’s going to put his feet on the bumper and stop the van. As the van pulls up Alfred asks if he can step back and Ken says “Yeah, get outta the way!” Vince keeps honking the horn and Patera tells him to have some patience. He gets in position and tells Vince to come close. Ken then gets up and tells the fans at home not to try this (good thinking) and gets back in position. He then puts both feet on the bumpers and tells Vince to punch it. Vince floors it for real and the van doesn’t budge. The back wheels spin and burn rubber and Ken still has it going nowhere. Then smoke fills the area and finally Vince cuts the engine. Patera gags legitimately (that must reek too) and Vince asks if he’s alright. Ken “Yeah, I told you to cut it off after 6 seconds” and Vince says “My foot was stuck on the accelerator what do you want me to do?” Ken “What are ya trying to do, kill me?” Vince “No I’m not trying to kill you!”  Good shit, and impressive too. Patera is half of Mark Henry’s size so if he’s pulling off these feats of strength, it shows just how truly powerful he is. Right around this time is when he went to jail too. Remember how I mentioned that he was arrested in 1984 for throwing a rock through a McDonald’s window, well it took over a year to convict him but they finally did in 1985. A shame because he was one of the founding members of the Heenan Family with Big John Studd and later King Kong Bundy.

 

Oh look, we’re done. The credits are rolling signaling the end of the tape. Now for the sneak previews of BEST OF THE WWF VOLUME 4, THE AMAZING MANAGERS and WRESTLING’S COUNTRY BOYS. I guess back then tapes came in 3 packs. As for this, what can you say? All it was, was a collection of highlights featuring a lot of guys that would never be highlighted under any circumstances in the other territories. It was yet another attempt to do something different and it worked. Demolition Ax used to say that if a guy who thinks he drew the house by himself would stand in the ring for 2 hours telling jokes, no one would come. EVERYONE on the roster was important from the first match all the way to the main event. How do I rate a tape that has everything? I can’t really. A highlight tape isn’t for everyone but its got a lot of good thing packed into 81 minutes. I recommend getting it if you can find it because a lot of people are highlighted. The next tape after this is another profile tape, the number 1 heel ROWDY RODDY PIPER’S GREATEST HITS.