WWF Most Unusual Matches (WF005)

WWF MOST UNUSUAL MATCHES (WF005)

  After the first WRESTLEMANIA, Coliseum Video released MOST UNUSUAL MATCHES which was to highlight the unusual matches of the time period. Once again this is a pretty ballsy tape as we’re highlighting certain things that wouldn’t be highlighted in other promotions, but is that a good thing or a bad thing? Let’s find out. Since it was released following Wrestlemania, I’m assuming the video came out in May of 1985. Cue the Coliseum Video opening before being greeted by our host, Jesse “The Body” Ventura. Jesse is wearing a blue feathered turban and exotic red sunglasses. He says in order to present unusual matches, Coliseum Video needed an unusual wrestler and the outlandish Ventura fit the bill. He explains why these matches were chosen and why unusual matches. He makes the great point of presenting fans with greater combination of action like Texas Tornado and Lumberjack matches. We get a preview of the action we’re about to see before sending us to our first match. Ventura says there will be 9 matches shown so at least we know how many we’re in store for.

 

Match 1

Tito Santana vs Greg “The Hammer” Valentine (with Jimmy Hart) for the WWF Intercontinental Championship in a Lumberjack Match

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and “Mean” Gene Okerlund

Literally 2 weeks before Wrestlemania 1, Valentine was defending the title in Madison Square Garden against the former champ but with Lumberjack rules on March 17, 1985. Jesse explains that the concept of this match came from the old lumberjacks in the pacific northwest. They’d have their disputes and it would end when the two combatants would fight while the rest of them circled the two, no one could leave until the fight was over. Some of the heel lumberjacks are Matt Borne, “Big” John Studd, Terry Gibbs, Barry O (Bob Orton’s brother and Randy’s uncle), Charlie Fulton and King Kong Bundy. Some of the faces are Rocky Johnson, Ricky Steamboat, Jimmy Snuka and Junkyard Dog.  Valentine enters wearing purple tights and Santana in blue while Jimmy Hart is in a flamboyant suit combo. While the referee is checking Santana for foreign objects, Valentine clobbers him. Valentine unloads with forearms as Jimmy Hart taunts Gene Okerlund. Valentine drops Santana then clubs him with more forearms. Greg goes for the chinlock but Santana blocks it and gets to his feet. Santana tries to power out of it but Valentine rakes the eyes, what a heel! Greg sends Tito off but Santana catches him with a clothesline. Tito puts the boots to him in the corner then rams his head into the turnbuckle. After a Valentine Flop, Greg bails to the heel side of the ring. Borne, Studd, Orton and Fulton try to console Greg but Steamboat comes over and throws him onto the apron. Gene makes the comment “someday you may see those two go at it.” Wait till Wrestlemania 4 there Gene. Tito goes to work with forearms to the chest before Valentine drops to the floor. The heels try to protect Greg but again Steamboat comes over to toss him inside. Greg takes a swing at Steamboat then begs off. I think its funny that not only did Matt Borne let Steamboat get away with that, Junkyard Dog is literally standing next to Bundy. Guess everyone can get along after all, right? Tito catches the foot then delivers an atomic drop. Santana drops the champ with a knee lift as I notice Jimmy Hart standing next to Rocky Johnson. I heard Johnson’s son is one arrogant chef, he constantly asks people if they smell what he’s cooking.  Valentine bails to the heel side again but this time he’s thrown back in by the unlikely combo of JYD and Bundy. Greg would be wrestling JYD 14 days later at Wrestlemania. Santana attempts 10 punches in the corner but halfway through, Valentine catches him with an inverted atomic drop. Monsoon suggests that Rocky grab Jimmy Hart by the throat, heh. We get a TAPE EDIT and the crowd pops as Santana goes for the figure four, Greg squirms his way out of it and onto the floor into the arms of Jimmy Hart. Only problem is he’s on the face side of the ring and Rocky Johnson pushes Jimmy aside then with a little help from Steamboat, JYD and Snuka, tosses Greg back in. We get another TAPE EDIT (not this shit again) and now Santana has Valentine dazed with right hands. Bundy is next to Jimmy Hart now and they both cheer on Hammer. Valentine drops and bails only to be caught by Steamboat. For some reason the bell rings as Steamboat, Snuka, Dog and one of the jobbers tosses Greg back in. Valentine begs off as Tito stalks him around the ring. Tito rallies with right hands in the corner but a charge in the opposite one eats knee. Valentine falls on Tito and the ref makes the count..1….2.nope. We get a TAPE EDIT and Valentine throws Santana out to Studd and Borne’s part of the outside. Studd, Borne and JYD toss Tito back in the ring without a struggle. Valentine puts the boots to Tito then heaves him out the other side where the faces allow Tito time to rest before tossing him back on the apron, where he’s met by several Hammer forearms to the chest. Tito crawls into the ring where he’s met by a second rope forearm smash by Valentine. Greg drops a knee and the sloppy cover gets a deuce, Gorilla admonishes Greg for the cover. Greg drags Tito to the center of the ring and before he goes for the figure four, he taunts Tito by slapping him in the face. Valentine delivers a series of knee drops to the right leg of Santana then goes for the figure four. Tito blocks the first attempt then cradles him up for 1..2..nope. They trade blows in the center of the ring but a running forearm shot by Hammer floors Santana. Yet another TAPE EDIT followed by Santana rallying with right hands. They trade blows in the ring but now Santana gets the upper hand causing a Valentine Flop. Valentine goes to bail but catches him by pulling his tights down. The camera cuts to JYD shoving Barry O to keep this a family show. Santana suplexes a dazed Hammer. Tito makes the cover but only gets a deuce. Tito drops a few knees then goes for his own figure four, but Valentine blocks it and kicks him off. Valentine bails and heads for the exit but the faces stop him and heave him back inside. Santana hits a running forearm (not his finisher) that drops Hammer. Santana then goes for the figure four and hooks it in but Jimmy Hart hops up on the apron to distract the referee. Studd slides in the ring and pulls Valentine toward the ropes. The ref turns around and makes Santana break the hold. Santana goes after Studd but Valentine delivers a knee to the back. Valentine pounds away but Tito rallies then a brawl develops. Tito sends Greg off but their heads collide. Greg happens to fall on Santana and the ref counts 1…..2….3 and its over. Monsoon can’t believe it but The Hammer retains. The lumberjacks leave ringside as Fink announces Valentine the winner. Jimmy Hart and King Kong Bundy celebrate than get the heck out of dodge with the Hammer. Standard 1984 action but was this unusual? Not really, even for the time period.

Time of match: Edited, who cares?

Winner: Greg Valentine by pinfall (Still IC Champion)

We got right into the next match

Match 2

Greg “The Hammer” Valentine vs “Chief” Jay Strongbow in an Indian Strap Match

Commentator: Jesse “The Body” Ventura

On July 30, 1979 Valentine took on Strongbow at Madison Square Garden in a strap match which was unusual for that time period anyway. Valentine wastes no time and attacks Strongbow after Fink’s instructions. Valentine puts the boots to him before the strap is put on. BRILLIANT! The ref finally puts the strap on Greg and the bell gets underway. Greg clubs away in the corner then strangles Jay in the corner. Greg continues to pound away in the corner and Strongbow is busted open. Strongbow was a spry 50 at the time of the match and Greg was a month away from his 28^th birthday. A prime hammer so to speak. Greg pounds away but Jay starts no-selling. He goes into the “Hey-How-Are-Ya” hulk up so to speak. Strongbow rallies with right hands and then starts whipping Greg all over the ring. Jay rams Greg into his own knee and we get another stinkin TAPE EDIT. Valentine delivers an elbow to the head and Strongbow crumples outside. Strongbow goes to regroup but he’s strapped so Valentine just lugs him back to the ring. Valentine kicks him back out and repeats the process until Strongbow grabs Greg’s leg. Jay pulls Greg out and they trade blows on the floor. Jay rams Greg’s head into the guardrail twice then grabs a chair. Greg stops the chair but is rammed into the ring post. Valentine is busted open as they continue to brawl. Greg then chokes Strongbow on the bottom rope. The ref steps in but Chief fights out of it. They trade blows in the corner as the ref tries to separate them. Jay then kicks the ref square in the nuts as the brawl continues. Ivan Putski, Tito Santana and Dominic DeNucci hit the ring to break up the fight. The bell rings as the two are pulled apart. A fan reaches over the guardrail and grabs a chair away from Valentine so Greg throws a few forearms at the portly gentleman. Back in those days, fans would routinely rush the ring and wrestlers were given carte blanche to fight their way out. Neither would never happen now, if a fan rushes the ring he would be whisked away by security and if a wrestled belted a fan, there’s a lawsuit on Vince’s hands. Gorilla Monsoon comes out to restore order before the fans riot. Everyone but Valentine bails and the fan reaches over again, Valentine goes to attack but security and the police restrain the two. They finally get Greg out of there was the scene cuts. That was a hell of a finish, a DQ in a strap match. Was it unusual? You bet your bippy big guy.

Time of match: An edited 5 minutes (real time was 7:46)

Winner: No one (Double DQ)

We head right into the next match

Match 3

“Superfly” Jimmy Snuka and Junkyard Dog vs “Rowdy” Roddy Piper and “Cowboy” Bob Orton in a Texas Tornado Rules tag match

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Gene Okerlund

Madison Square Garden on January 21, 1985 saw this rare match. Rare for the rules, not for the participants. The rules are all four participants are in at the same time, there are no tags. This is going to be a long one for that reason only. Snuka starts unloading on Piper while Orton trades punches with JYD. JYD and Snuka gain the upper hand and whip the two heels together, only Orton backdrops Piper. Snuka headbutts Orton who crashes into Piper and they both go down. JYD gets on his knees and headbutts Piper around as Snuka snapmares Orton. Piper begs off as Snuka nails Orton with a punch that sends him through the ropes and to the outside. Piper is caught between Dog and Snuka so he bails to the other side of the ring. Snuka goes after him as Orton tries to sneak up on Dog but JYD nails him in the ribs. Snuka continues to attack Piper on the floor as Dog drops Orton with a clothesline. Piper whips Snuka into the ring post as Dog’s cover gets 1..2..and no. Piper gets in the ring, taps Dog on the shoulder and then pokes him in the eyes 3 Stooges style when Dog turns to look. Piper holds Dog and Orton knocks him down with a clothesline. Piper covers but Dog powers out at 2. Snuke re-enters the ring but Roddy cuts him off. Piper boots JYD to the outside as Orton comes over to take a swing at Snuka. Jimmy grabs Orton and Piper then rams their two heads together. Piper staggers backward and JYD kneels down behind him for the schoolyard trip but Piper goes to one knee and Snuka just tackles him over JYD. Snuka pounds the head of Piper but Roddy bails. Roddy heads for the exit but Snuka cuts him off with Orton in hot pursuit. Orton staggers back where Dog catches him and a brawl develops on the floor. Back inside Jimmy bites Piper on the mat as Orton pounds on Dog.  Orton then holds Snuka for Piper to deliver more damage and Piper cuts an onrushing JYD off with a thumb to the eye. Piper snapmares Dog and locks in a chinlock while Orton does the same to Snuka. We get a TAPE EDIT but the chinlocks are still applied. The faces then get to their feet but the heels whip them off the ropes to apply sleeperholds. Piper then kicks away at Snuka but we get another TAPE EDIT. Dog and Snuka are fading but they revive. Dog and Snuka grab each other’s hands and ram Orton/Piper’s heads together. Dog does his headbutts to Orton on the mat as Snuka rallies with right hands and a headbutt on Piper. Dog whops Orton into the corner who spirals upside down. Piper drops Dog with a kneelift, then in a moment that’s captured in the Coliseum Video opening montage; Piper and Orton combine to scoop slam Snuka. Piper grabs Dog and bites him in the corner as Orton goes up to the top. Orton tries a big splash but Snuka gets the knees up in time. Snuka headbutts Piper to the floor then follows him out. Piper sends Superfly into the ring post and trips up JYD as he bounces off the ropes. Orton drops a knee on Dog then rolls him cover, covers for 1…2….3 that’s it. Orton and Piper win it as Okerlund can’t believe it. Piper and Orton rush to the back with the losers pursuing. Monsoon says the crowd is stunned and the match cuts off right there. Was this unusual? Actually yeah, rarely do you see texas tornado rules in a WWF ring.

Time of match: An unofficial 7:55

Winners: Orton and Piper by pinfall
We go right to the next…..match so to speak. All it is, are highlights of an ancient women’s battle royal with Monsoon doing the voiceover.

Match 4

10 Women Battle Royal

Commentator: Gorilla Monsoon

Now this is a rarity. A women’s battle royal from the 1960’s. I can’t tell the exact date and at the start there are only 8 women in the ring. One of them is Donna Christianello, the rest Monsoon will have to fill us in on. Donna’s the one with the long black hair and she was trained by Fabulous Moolah. This battle royal has different rules as the only way to be eliminated is by pinfall. Now this will be one of the few times in history I’m going to go lazy-ass because other than Donna, I don’t have a clue who anyone is, so it’s impossible to call all the action. Before Monsoon takes over, Ventura’s voice over says the winner of the match would get a title shot against Fabulous Moolah. Yes, she was the chaAfter a tape edit that gets rid of two more girls, Monsoon gives us the run-down of Paula Kay, Black Panther, White Venus (who’s wearing a mask, which gives me 2 people I can spot instantly), Sue Green, Donna and Peggy Patterson.  Donna, Kay and Venus are thrown into each other by the other women. Another edit has Panther no longer with us as Venus executes a snap mare on Green. Kay puts the boots to Green. A little while later Kay and Green double cover Venus for the 3 count to eliminate her. Down to Green, Kay, Donna and Patterson. Here’s the funny thing, if this is the famous “Cowgirl” Sue Green, she would have to be 15-16 years old at the time of this match. Unless it’s a different Sue Green altogether….I don’t know.  Another edit shows Patterson and Green double-slingshotting the other two into the center of the ring. They do the same spot again to the other side. Two double monkeyflips by the babyfaces are followed by Kay and Donna seeking shelter under the bottom rope. A TAPE EDIT shows Sue tied up in the ropes while Paula snap mares and covers Peggy for nothing because the useless referee abandons the pinfall to check on Sue/Donna. He then gets down and counts to 2 then stops for some ungodly reason that even has Monsoon wondering what the hell is wrong with him on commentary. FINALLY he completes the 3 count and Peggy is sent to the showers leaving Sue alone with Donna and Paula. Once again we get TAPE EDITS up the wazoo which is uncalled for in a short match like this. Both Paula and Donna try to get the pinfall on Green but she kicks out both times. Paula goes for a slingshot on Sue but Donna’s standing behind her so Sue goes for the sunset flip….and blows it. Paula then starts grabbing on to her knees and its fairly obvious there’s supposed to be another slingshot going the other way. Sue slingshots Donna…who lands on her head, botching it as well. Usually women’s wrestling was far less crisp then mens back then, but this is reaching modern day diva levels. Kay eventually flips over but Donna’s on bottom. Even though DONNA is underneath Kay AND they tumbled into the ropes, THE IDIOT REF STILL COUNTS 3. The bell rings to boot as none of the women in the ring have any idea what’s going on. Green then does a running roll up on Donna and the ref counts to 3 again to end this disaster. Sue Green wins one of the ugliest women’s matches I’ve seen before the Diva era. Pretty impressive for a 16 year old. Was this an unusual match? Absolutely, even though it sucked.

Time of match: Who cares?

Winner: Sue Green

We go right into another battle royal, this one’s more recent and it’s at Madison Square Garden.

Match 5

20 Man Battle Royal

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Gene Okerlund

Heh, it’s the battle royal from The Brawl To End It All. This was one of the undercard matches on the July 23, 1984 broadcast on MTV in Madison Square Garden. The only match shown live was Moolah vs Richter but the undercard was shown on MSG network. We get the entrants first: Sika, Jose Luis Rivera, Butcher Vachon, Antonio Inoki, Tony Garea, Chief Jay Strongbow, Afa, Steve Lombardi, Dick Murdoch, Bob Orton, Adrian Adonis, Renee Goulet, Ron Shaw, Charlie Fulton, Terry Daniels, Iron Sheik, Tito Santana, Paul Orndorff, Sgt Slaughter and 20 year old Samu, yes THAT Samu that would later shrink heads. That’s a pretty international battle royal if you look at it. You have the Samoans representing Samoa, Tito Santana representing Mexico, Garea representing New Zealand, Inoki representing Japan, Sheik representing Iran, Goulet and Butcher representing Canada and Jose Luis representing Puerto Rico. I’d say the Samoans would have the advantage with 3 of them in the ring. As with any battle royal its mayhem to start. Slaughter dumps Lombardi pretty quick (big surprise) as Garea sneaks up on Butcher. Samu and Afa double-team Orton in the corner before we get a TAPE EDIT, dammit. About 5 or 6 guys are gone including Sheik, Strongbow, Fulton, Butcher and Orndorff which is stupid because what’s the point of showing an edited battle royal? Adonis goes upstairs but crotches himself when he’s met with a right hand by Inoki. Inoki catches him with a dropkick that sends him through the ropes, not over the top. Goulet chokes down Terry Daniels in the corner while Garea tries to eliminate Shaw to no avail. Samu holds Goulet and Sarge nails him with a right hand. Afa and Sika doubleteam Murdoch in the corner and Samu comes over only to rake the eyes of Murdoch…yeah, big help. Goulet has Sarge halfway out of the ring but Sika makes the save. Murdoch whips Adonis over to Slaughter but Sarge backdrops him over and out. Murdoch jumps on Sarge and they both tumble over the top and out. The camera scans the 10 remaining wrestlers and jobbers Ron Shaw and Terry Daniels go at it, that’s one way to stick around while everyone else is eliminating each other. The crowd gasps as one of the Samoans is dumped but the camera misses it. The other Samoan tries to dump Goulet as Samu comes over and whacks Goulet, which only drops him back in the ring. Again Samu is no help to his own family. The camera misses Santana getting tossed out as Goulet ducks a charge and the other Samoan is gone. Other than Orton and Inoki, most everyone left are jobbers or rookies like Samu. We’re down to 8, make it 7 when Goulet backdrops Rivera out. By the way, Rivera would later don a mask and wrestle as one of the Conquistadors in what is considered the greatest Survivor Series match of all time….but that’s 5 years from now. Back to present time, Inoki unloads on Samu with cat swipes then ducks a charge to eliminate him. Because of that, the camera misses Terry Daniels going out and we’re down to 5. Bob Orton, Antonio Inoki, Ron Shaw, Renee Goulet and Tony Garea…who would have seen that coming considering who else was involved? Inoki takes a breather as Goulet goes after Orton and Garea gets tangled up with Shaw. Orton drops Goulet with a forearm then nails Inoki with one. Orton scoop slams Inoki but misses an elbow drop. Inoki dropkicks Orton over the top but Bob catches himself…only to trip and fall off the apron. Down to the final four of Garea, Shaw, Goulet and Inoki…wow. Shaw kicks at Garea while Goulet pounds away on Inoki. Goulet and Shaw team up and toss Garea out. Shaw and Goulet shake hands as Inoki tries to rev up the crowd. Earlier on the card, Shaw lost to Sika in a one on one match so could he avenge his loss here? Looks like a big hell no as Inoki ducks under a double clothesline as Ron and Renee crash into the corner. The two eventually overpower Inoki and Shaw holds him for Goulet. Renee bounces off the ropes and….Inoki moves so Goulet clotheslines Shaw over the top and out. Inoki dropkicks Goulet but he’s too far away from the ropes. Inoki then grabs him and tosses him out the other side to win the match. This was the last match on the card as the entire crowd almost literally runs for the exit (Madison Square Garden had an 11 PM curfew at the time). Fink announces Inoki the winner as Shaw and Goulet are sprawled out on the cement. For those that don’t know, Inoki was the founder of New Japan Pro Wrestling which later provided WCW with a lot of top talent. Vince would get his guys from All-Japan, which was founded by Inoki’s wrestling school classmate, Giant Baba. Was this an unusual match? No, but there was an unusual winner so I guess ½ unusual.

Time of match: I don’t give a damn

Winner: Antonio Inoki

We go to one of the most legendary matches in WWF history.

Match 6

“Superfly” Jimmy Snuka (with Buddy Rogers) vs Don “Magnificent” Muraco for the WWF Intercontinental Championship in a Steel Cage Match

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Pat Patterson

October 17, 1983 in Madison Square Garden saw the culmination of a feud that had a greater impact on wrestling AFTER it had happened, which I’ll explain later. Snuka was a heel under the guidance of Captain Lou Albano but when former WWF Champion “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers in a famous “Buddy’s Corner” (think Piper’s Pit only a few years earlier) segment convinced Snuka that Albano was no good, Jimmy turned on Lou and became the babyface we know today. Rogers would accompany Jimmy to the ring during the pre-Hulkamania years. Snuka and Rogers slowly check out the cage as they make their way around as Muraco shouts at them from inside. As Snuka and Rogers come around the right corner, a long haired teenager in a flannel shirt gives the “I love you” sign. We’ll get to him later. Finally Snuka gets in the cage and the crowd goes nuts. Muraco, in the black tights, ties up but delivers a forearm to the back. They brawl for a bit before Snuka drops the champ with a headbutt. Another tie up leads to Muraco taking a beating in the ropes. A big chop floors Muraco. Don crawls for the door but Jimmy stops him. Snuka rams Muraco’s head in the turnbuckle then delivers a big right hand. Jimmy rams Don into the other corner twice then chops him again. Don gets a knee to the mid-section then slingshots Snuka into the cage. Snuka is busted wide open as Muraco puts the boots to him. Muraco grates Jimmy’s head into the cage then unloads with right hands. Muraco whips Jimmy into the corner but a charge eats knee. Snuka climbs to the top but Don stops him with a forearm to the back. Don rams Jimmy’s head into the cage then foolishly picks him up in a fireman’s carry. Snuka catches himself on the top of the cage then knocks Muraco crotch first onto the top rope. Snuka nails Muraco back in the ring as Monsoon scoffs (and so do I) at Jimmy for not climbing out of the cage at this point with Muraco down. Jimmy tries to climb down but Muraco nails him with a rib shot then powerslams him into the center of the ring. Don heads for the door but Jimmy catches him at the last second. Muraco then mule kicks him in the gonads as Monsoon says its legal. Jimmy reverses a whip and Muraco half-Flair flips into the corner. Jimmy rams Muraco into the cage and now he’s busted open too. Jimmy gets fired up and drops Don with a big right hand. He scoop slams the champ then goes upstairs. Jimmy drops a fist from the second rope as the crowd comes alive. Snuka rallies with right hands and another chop that sends Muraco to the canvas. Jimmy stuns Don with a headbutt, bounces off the ropes and nails Muraco with a flying headbutt….but oh no! Muraco flips over the top rope and out of the cage, which means MURACO WINS! Snuka can’t believe it as Patterson says it was an accident. Snuka screams as he leaves the cage and prevents Muraco from leaving. He tosses Muraco back in for some extracurricular activity. Jimmy suplexes Muraco into the middle of the cage then goes upstairs. He then looks behind him and climbs all the way to the top of the cage. Monsoon “SUPERFLY PERCHED 15 FEET HIGH!” The long haired teenager in the flannel shirt watched in amazement as Snuka lept off the top of the cage and nailed Muraco with a Superfly splash. The crowd goes crazy as Snuka grabs the IC belt and poses with it for the crowd. Jimmy drops the belt on Muraco’s fallen body and does the “I love you pose” Jimmy makes his exit as Muraco twitches on the canvas. Monsoon goes to the replay of Snuka diving off the cage as the doctor at ringside tends to Muraco inside. We cut the action here but I’m glad they kept the entire match intact as well as the historic finish. By the way, that long-haired teenager in the flannel shirt was 18 year old Mick Foley. When he saw Snuka leap off the cage he got inspired to become a wrestler himself. So Muraco/Snuka in a cage had a much more lasting impression on the wrestling world because of Mick Foley than the actual feud itself. So was this an unusual match? Cage matches back then were the feud enders plus we saw Mick Foley before he ever got in the business so I say sure. The match itself wasn’t anything special but given the level of intensity, plus the finish, good stuff!

Time of match: 6:42

Winner: Don Muraco (still IC Champion)

As anti-climatic as it sounds, the cage match didn’t end the feud. A few months later the managers would get involved and a tag match would take place. Only it would be Snuka teaming with Arnold Skaaland against Captain Lou and Muraco. Apparently Rogers got hurt in training for the match and Arnie took his place.

Match 7

“Captain” Lou Albano and Don “Magnificent” Muraco vs “The Golden Boy” Arnold Skaaland and Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Pat Patterson

With Buddy Rogers out, 58 year old Arnold Skaaland gets back in the ring to assist Snuka against Muraco and Albano. Albano was 50 years old himself at the time of the match. Snuka was 40 believe it or not with Muraco bringing up the rear at 34. We’re back at Madison Square Garden on December 26, 1983, the night Sheik defeated Backlund for the world title. Skaaland and Muraco start with a tie up as Patterson says not to count Arnie out due to his age. Skaaland and Albano are no strangers to each other either. 16 years earlier Skaaland and his partner Spiros Arion dropped the WWWF US Tag Team Titles to The Sicillians (Albano and Tony Altimore). Muraco (wearing the black tights) gets the upperhand as Ventura’s voice-over explains the upcoming contest (why couldn’t they have done this BEFORE the action started?). Muraco misses a charge in the corner and Skaaland (in the blue tights) arm-drags Muraco twice. Muraco clears his head then methodically stalks Arnie. A sideheadlock is applied before Skaaland sends Muraco off who jumps over Skaaland then stops to give the arm and the elbow to Snuka. Don turns around into a scoop slam by Skaaland. Albano interferes and is met with a big right hand. A TAPE EDIT shows Muraco now tying up with Skaaland. Arnie gets sent off who nails Albano in the corner with a big forearm. Muraco charges and Arnie catches him with a nice inside cradle for 1..2..nope. Not bad for a guy who would turn 59 less than a month later. Muraco bails to clear his head then re-enters. Muraco swipes at Skaaland as we go to the replay of the small package. Skaaland crawls under the legs of Muraco and tags in the Superfly. Muraco backs off but with a cocky smirk on his face while Albano paces on the apron. The camera cuts to a shot of the crowd and misses Snuka onloading on Albano.  Muraco gets Snuka in a headlock, sends him off and drops him with a shoulderblock. Snuka does his trademark leapfrogs then drops Muraco with a big chop. A jumping headbutt floors Muraco. Jimmy makes the cover but only gets a 2, then applies a rest hold. The ref gives Albano shit as a kid in the front row takes a swig of coke. Muraco begins to power up as Snuka yells at Albano. Monsoon makes note that Lou hasn’t been in the match yet. Muraco breaks free and tags in Albano right on cue. Albano comes in and begs off in a circle then goes to give Jimmy a hug. Jimmy is not in a hugging mood and he greets Lou with a kick to the gut and a chop, Albano barely sells either. Jimmy goes for another chop but Albano no sells it and punches Snuka in the gonads, ouch. Jimmy staggers into the corner where Albano delivers a forearm to the back. Albano unloads on Jimmy with the heavy artillery and a rake to the eyes. Lou then distracts the refree and Muraco then goes upstairs to deliver a standing knee to the throat. The ref turns around and Muraco puts his hands up then bails. Referee Gil Roman is asleep apparently. Albano continues to unload on Snuka then tags Muraco back in. A double knee lift drops Snuka then a running knee lift floors him again. A big thumb to the eye has Superfly rolling around in agony. A series of boots and an elbow sends Jimmy to the canvas. Arnold looks on intently and Snuka begins to rally with right hands and a headbutt. A chop decks Muraco but Snuka goes to attack Albano. Don dropkicks Snuka in the back then tags in Lou. Albano continues to punch/kick Snuka around then tags Don in. Muraco holds Snuka but Jimmy moves and Albano nails Muraco instead. Skaaland interferes to attack Albano in the corner. Snuka sneaks to the top rope as Muraco turns around into a flying bodypress. The cover 1..2…3 and its over, Snuka’s team wins it. Snuka rams Lou and Don’s heads together after the bell. Patterson cuts off mid-sentence as apparently Albano was giving him shit. Fink announces the winners as we cut right there. Well that was average at best. Did it belong on this kind of tape, hell no! Like I said, it was anti-climatic after the cage match plus all Albano did was stumble and bumble around. I will say at least Skaaland and Albano were trained professionals, unlike when celebs get in the ring nowadays.

Time of match: An un-official 8:16

Winners: Jimmy Snuka and Arnold Skaaland

Moving right along to one from the archives. This one goes back to the late 70’s.

Match 8

Haystacks Calhoun “High Chief” Peter Maivia and Larry Zybysko vs Butcher Vachon, Moose Monroe and Strong Kobayashi

Commentator: Vince McMahon

We go back to the WW…WF when Vince McMahon Sr was running the show. Back then you had guys coming in and out of the territory unless they homesteaded like Bruno Sammartino. This is supposed to highlight Haystacks who was a legitimate 600 pounds. What about the rest? Well we know Butcher and Zybysko from previous tapes. Peter Maivia is the grandfather of The Rock and father-in-law of “Soulman” Rocky Johnson, which is the inspiration for Rock’s original name of “Rocky Maivia”. Maivia was also one tough son of a bitch, his tribal tattoos down his abs and legs were done over a period of 3 days using a hammer, needle and ink. None of this lazer shit, he had it done the hard way. Kobayashi was in town from Japan, most notably the International Wrestling Enterprise. Moose Monroe was a standard jobber of the 70’s. Haystacks was the Andre the Giant of his time. He basically had the same career too only 15 years earlier. The fact he was a hillbilly paved the way for future bumpkins Hillbilly Jim, Cousin Luke, Uncle Elmer, The Godwinns, etc. At one point, Haystacks was the LIGHTER wrestler in a match with the 800 pound Happy Humphrey. Think Yokozona was too fat by the end of his run in WWF, add on another 200 pounds and that’s what Humphrey was. Anyway back to the actual match, Zybysko stars with Kobayashi who chickens out and Butcher gets in. Zybysko arm drags Vachon twice before tagging in Calhoun. Butcher tags in Monroe as Haystacks stalks him. Calhoun puts him in a full nelson but none of his babyface teammates want to take a cheap shot. Butcher interferes but the ref shoos him away. Finally Zybysko gets in a cheap shot (of course it had to be him) and Haystacks throws Monroe into the corner. Haystacks is wearing is standard overalls and black t-shirt, Zybysko has black tights and Maivia has pink ones. Monroe has the Baron Von Raschke-esque red and black combo pants. Calhoun does a series of avalanches in the corner on Monroe then applies a bear-hug. Zybysko tags in where he rallies with right hands and dropping Moose with a knee to the gut. Maivia tags in who is all smiles as he delivers a stomach-breaker. Calhoun tags in and delivers a sloppy big splash. As he covers, Maivia actually runs on top of him then jumps onto Kobayashi as the ref counts 1..2…3 to end it. Zybysko had actually ran up Calhoun to deliver a flying forearm to Butcher as well. The match cuts right there. Was this an unusual match? No. Did it have unusual participants? Yes. Haystacks was the Andre the Giant of the 60’s and Peter Maivia was one of the first Samoans to make it in New York. Unfortunately, Peter died of cancer in June of 1982, 3 years before the tape was released. So while the match may have been a boring squash, least it contained some rare stars that are hardly ever talked about anymore.

Time of match: Joined in progress

Winners: Haystacks Calhoun, Peter Maivia and Larry Zybysko

On to the final match of the tape, the one that teased us in BLOOPERS, BLEEPS AND BODYSLAMS, the 10 men, 3 out of 5 fall tag match.

Match 9

“Playboy” Buddy Rose, “Superstar” Billy Graham, Ray “Crippler” Stevens, Mr. Fuji, and Don “Magnificent” Muraco (with Captain Lou Albano) vs Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka, Pedro Morales, Salvatore Bellomo, Rocky Johnson and Andre the Giant

Commentator: Gorilla Monsoon

Lot of talent in that ring all around, this is going to be a long one due to it being 3 out of 5 falls with a TWO HOUR time limit. We’re at the Philadelphia Spectrum on February 19, 1983. We got 3 WWF champions in Graham, Morales and Andre with Muraco the reigning IC champ. Rose and Stevens held multiple AWA tag team titles (with different partners) and Mr Fuji was a former WWF tag team champion. Snuka and Belomo never won any gold but Snuka never had to, he was a top draw on his own. Johnson starts in the ring with Fuji but the devious one backs Johnson into the face side of the ring. Fuji gets in a wrist-lock but Johnson rolls out of it and nips backwards. He rallies with his Ali right hands and drops Fooj. Ventura is talking over the action trying to introduce everyone and go over the rules. Fuji tags out to Buddy Rose. Buddy gets a headlock then nails Johnson with a shoulderblock only for Johnson to pop up, leapfrog and catapult Rose across the ring. Rose charges into two arm-drags before Stevens tags in. He eats two arm-drags before he crawls to the corner to tag in Muraco. We get a TAPE EDIT and now Snuka’s in the ring with Muraco. Snuka goes to town on Muraco before tagging in Morales, Morales floors Don with a forearm to the chest and revs up the crowd before tagging in Andre. Andre shoots Muraco in the ropes then delivers a big boot that sends Don over the top rope to the floor. Stevens and Rose come over to help him back in and once inside, Muraco locks in a headlock on the giant who gets sent off the ropes and runs into the huge posterior of Andre. Muraco sells it like he took a cannon shot to the ribs. Stevens tags in and begs off as we get another TAPE EDIT and now its Bellomo in with Muraco. Poor Bellomo, he was the least known out of all 10 men. Muraco gets him up in an airplane spin. Round and round he goes and then falls backwards (haha) with Bellomo on top for 1..2..no. A dizzy Muraco tags out to Rose who puts Bellomo in another airplane spin. He drops him and goes to make a tag only its in the wrong corner. Johnson scares Rose away into his own corner who tags in Mr. Fuji. Fooj delivers a thrust to the throat then Stevens tags in to pound away at Salvatore. Stevens goes for the blatant choke but Bellomo gets an elbow to the gut then makes the tag to Superfly. Stevens begs off but Snuka goes through his offense before Stevens tags in Muraco, who runs into a jumping headbutt Snuka tags in Morales who has a score to settle since it was Muraco who dethroned him as IC champ. Muraco backs up right into the arms of Andre, who holds him as Morales unloads with the heavy artillery. Johnson tags in to do the Ali jabs before finishing with a right hand that drops Don. Andre tags in and Muraco begs off. Andre headbutts Muraco who gets his head stuck in the top rope on the face side. We get another TAPE EDIT and now Bellomo has the headlock on Fuji. A standing dropkick by Salvatore floors Fuji then drops him with a shoulderblock. Bellomo charges right into an over the head belly-to-belly suplex, the cover by Fuji gets 1…2..3 and the first fall goes to Team Muraco. Per rules, Bellomo and Fuji have to start the second fall. Fuji continues to work over Salvatore before picking him up for a scoop slam. Snuka comes off the top rope with a dropkick that sends Bellomo crashing down on Fuji, Dick Woehrle gets down 1..2…3 and we’re tied up at one fall apiece just like that. The faces celebrate as Bellomo gets a rest in the corner. A TAPE EDIT has Bellomo crawling away from Buddy Rose but the Playboy catches him. Bellomo gets in some defensive shots before tagging in Snuka. Rose sends him off but Superfly leapfrogs over him then slides under for a sunset flip that apparently gets a 3 count. Monsoon’s overdub commentary eliminated the sound and the camera angle was off. Rose jumps up in protest as the faces take a 2 to 1 lead. One more and they win. Snuka and Rose tie up and Buddy gets in a headlock. They do the same sequence as before only Snuka does his leapfrog/chop combo that sends Playboy flying.  Andre tags in and chops Rose down, he gets to his feet but is clobbered with a big right hand from Andre. Rose goes for a tag but Graham doesn’t want in so Fuji reluctantly does. Thanks to the editing, Graham hasn’t been in the match yet it seems. Fuji gets whacked but disorients Andre with a double slap to the ears. Muraco tags in and nails Andre with a forearm to the chest. Stevens grabs Andre from the outside but the Giant headbutts him away. Muraco goes up to the top rope but Andre catches him and slams him down to the mat. Andre sends him off the ropes and staggers the IC champ with a big chop. Muraco falls into his corner but again Graham avoids the tag and Rose reluctantly makes it. Andre brings him in the hard way and then does a double noggin knocker with Superfly, ha! Andre sends Rose off and delivers a big boot. Andre sits on him and the ref counts 1..2…3 and its over. Team Andre wins it 3 falls to 1 as Billy Graham does absolutely nothing. For extracurricular activity, Andre clocks Stevens too. The fans goes wild as Bellomo unloads on Graham who no-sells everything and simply leaves the ring. Muraco’s team retreats as Team Andre celebrates in the ring.

Time of match: Who cares?

Winners: Andre the Giant, Salvatore Bellomo, Pedro Morales, Jimmy Snuka and Rocky Johnson by pinfall

The orchestral theme hits as the credits roll. The after-preview Ventura says “available this June, Wrestlemania!” Wait, Wrestlemania was the 4^th tape released and this was the 5^th, how was it released BEFORE Wrestlemania? Anyway the 2 hour cassette was listed for $39.95 retail….hahahaha. I know its Wrestlemania but not even blu rays are worth that much these days. 40 dollars in 85 is like 70 today.  Monsoon takes over to preview BEST OF THE WWF VOLUME 3 then BIGGEST, SMALLEST, STRANGEST, SMALLEST and finally ROWDY RODDY PIPER’S GREATEST HITS. So were these the most unusual matches? For the most part yes. It was standard 1980’s action with the focus on showmanship more than mat based wrestling. For the most part the tape is worth picking up but certainly nothing to break the bank for. 3 stars out of 5. One point off because of the edit jobs and another point off for the women’s match. The next tape after this is ANDRE THE GIANT, another profile tape.